3 Receptions - Help!

[lilchilipadi]

Hi,

My fiance and I just got engaged last weekend, and plan to wed next Aug/Sept. We both live in the SF Bay Area, but are originally from the Philippines and Singapore, respectively. We have decided to have an engagement party here in the US, followed by our wedding and reception in the Philippines, and another reception in Singapore. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed already and not sure where to start!

Although we plan to have our church ceremony and dinner banquet in the Philippines, we would like to have a reception here in the US, for friends and family that will not be able to share in our wedding day. We are hoping to have this prior to our actual wedding (we don't want to worry about anything after our honeymoon!). Should we consider having a small civil ceremony at City Hall, followed by a wedding reception? Or should we simply have an engagement party?

We are intending to hire a wedding planner to assist us with our plans in the Philippines, and hope to have a coordinator for our reception in Singapore as well.

Any advice?

[Sharon Naylor]

The timing and location of your wedding ceremony is completely up to you -- would you be happy with the civil ceremony before the overseas celebrations? It might be that you're both going to be very happy to BE MARRIED in a small, simpler civil ceremony that you share with just your closest friends and family, followed by a reception with your US guests, and then the larger celebrations afterward.

What feels right to you? You can have an engagement party before your destination wedding events -- that's perfectly acceptable, especially when your guests know that your destination weddings may not be possible for them to attend.

Think also about the marriage license requirements, and your wedding coordinator can help you out with the legalities in your state. Would it be wiser for you to apply in your town and marry there so that it's easily legal? Destination weddings pose some trickier license work, depending on where you are. So talk to your coordinator about this angle of your plans, and you may find that the civil ceremony makes everything easier on the official front, too.

If you have more questions, just let me know!

Sharon

[Julz518]

Hi there! Welcome to Pash!

I think Sharon makes a really good point about the license requirements for getting married out of the country... especially when one of you is from another country (not the US). It may be easier to have a civil ceremony here, followed by celebrations in the other two countries.

But, if you do decide to have the "legal" ceremony abroad, I would advise AGAINST having a "reception" beforehand. It's just bad ettiquette. An engagement party is fine, or a reception when you return to the US, but it just doesn't seem proper to have the reception beforehand... they couldn't even introduce you properly!

We'd love to hear about your plans as they come along!

[Heather]

I hope she comes back!