traditional

[crankyavonlady]

We were wondering what the bride and grooms families pay for in a traditional wedding. Not that it matters in todays times because just about anything goes, we are paying for everything ourselves. I always thought that the brides parents pay for the wedding and the grooms pay for the reception. He thinks that the brides parents pay for everything except for the alcohol. Could you please list what each family would traditionally pay for we are curious. Thanks so much.

[Sharon Naylor]

In today's weddings, brides and grooms and their families are custom-creating their own plan for who pays for what, according to who has the wish and the wallet for it But just for your information, here is the traditional old-world list of who pays for what:

The Bride's Family Pays For:
* Invitations and announcements
* Wedding gown and accessories
* Wedding coordinator
* Reception site and catering
* Flowers
* Photographer
* Videographer
* Entertainment
* Transportation
* Favors
* Their own wedding expenses like wardrobe, travel and lodging

The Groom's Family Pays For:
* The marriage license
* The officiant
* The bride's bouquet
* The boutonnieres
* The rehearsal dinner
* and some individual old-world etiquette lists say 'the honeymoon,' but not too many people are abiding by that one

Now keep in mind that this is just *one* version of the traditional Who Pays? list. There are lots of different ones out there, having changed over time. And with that confusion, most wedding planning teams are throwing this list to the wind and just deciding amongst themselves who will pay for what.

Getting back to your letter, it's not that the bride's family pays for the ceremony and the groom's family pays for the reception....I've never seen an etiquette rule like that. It sounds like you have your plan in place by paying for everything, so the list above is just a look at how things used to be at one point in time.

I'm sure the rest of the Pash community can share their stories of what they've heard about who pays....and of course I'm here if any of you have any questions or want advice on this topic...

Sharon

[NovemberGal]

I've seen pretty much what Sharon's posted. I've also seen a list that has the transportation under the groom's responsibilities, or a straight split of bride's family pays for the wedding and groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. I have never heard of the groom's family paying for the reception.

We split wedding expenses into thirds, so we paid 1/3 plus our rings, my folks paid 1/3 plus my wedding dress & veil, and his folks paid for 1/3 plus the rehearsal dinner. His folks offered to do this (before we were actually engaged, in fact!), which was very generous of them. My folks were willing to pay for all of it, but DH and I did NOT want them to take on the full financial burden.