Do you think having a cash bar is bad? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

happynicky28 · #1 04-18-2007, 12:45 AM

Well, we are on a tight budget and were thinking of a cash bar for the reception but would have a free full bar for a one hour cocktail hour. We would also provide a bottle of red and white wine for each table at dinner and champage of course. Do you guys think the guests would be upset with a cash bar and it is in bad taste or is it acceptable?

munchkin · #2 04-18-2007, 12:52 AM

A cash bar is never acceptable. Full stop, no questions or excuses. If you can't afford it, don't have alcohol at all. You wouldn't make your guests pay for alcohol if you had a dinner party, so you shouldn't make them pay at your wedding.

happynicky28 · #3 04-18-2007, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munchkin

A cash bar is never acceptable. Full stop, no questions or excuses. If you can't afford it, don't have alcohol at all. You wouldn't make your guests pay for alcohol if you had a dinner party, so you shouldn't make them pay at your wedding.

Yes we were thinking along the same lines as you but were not sure.

munchkin · #4 04-18-2007, 01:27 AM

Lol, you're going to get the same reactions from most of the other ladies here. This topic comes up every so often, and we're pretty unanimous about it.
Welcome to Pash by the way, I don't think I've welcomed you yet.

soulsearcher1968 · #5 04-18-2007, 01:30 AM

I am totally with Munchkin on this one. Believe me. I asked the same thing.
Guess what.
It IS a big NO NO.

Do a search. Look for the words "cash bar". You will come across all the posts and opinions.

seansgirl · #6 04-18-2007, 01:41 AM

Here we go again. It may be unacepatble but you do what you have to do. It is your wedding and you know who is coming. We are in the position where we have to have a cash bar, we are providing red and white wine. 120 bottles. Our bar is a $2.00 cash bar and our local firemen are providing full bar service all the proceeds raised go to them. We are in a very rural area and not only will are friends and relatives that were invited to the wedding be there the entire town (village) will show up and the farmers ect. We will probably drop $500.00 of the top and give bar tickets to our invited guests but any over and above not.
We will also be providing an open buffett for all those that attend and there will be a lot of other drink choices available that you don't have to use the bar for.
All those that were invited agree that was a great idea and no one was offended.

Complicated Woman · #7 04-18-2007, 02:39 AM

I know what ettiquette says and we had an open bar, but as a guest I would always prefer cash bar to no bar. IMO, it just gives me the option to have a mixed drink if I want one and people like to drink at weddings. As long as you provide soda, water, coffee, tea, etc etc at no cost, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it!

Heather · #8 04-18-2007, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Complicated Woman

I know what ettiquette says and we had an open bar, but as a guest I would always prefer cash bar to no bar.

Ditto.

Cash bars are a no-no, but if you're leaning in that direction, it's always better to give your guests the choice as to whether they want to drink at all.

SerendipityCrafts · #9 04-18-2007, 02:43 AM

LOL as said before ... here we go again.

As I understand it, a cash bar is totally acceptable in some places or regions while in others, it is unheard of. Where I live, it can go either way so, we always bring some money with us "just in case". Do we begrudge a couple because they don't offer an open bar? - NO way. Either way, it's never indicated on the invite.

wynelle · #10 04-18-2007, 03:31 AM

New funny etiquette book out on weddings... especially those types of issues that people get upset over.

It seems that cash bars are more common in the North than the South.

I still hold with the thought that you are having a party to celebrate your wedding, and the rules for any party you have in your home hold true for a party you have in a rented hall, reception center or park. You don't expect guests to pay for the priviledge of attending your party.

Hell, they've already paid for a wedding gift, usually a shower gift, a new outfit to wear, hair-do done, parking, and now, for their drinks???

Just not done---and do you really think if you ask a guest if they would object to paying for their drinks they would tell you? Not to your face, but you can best believe you will be the topic of conversation in private.

But that's just my opinion, and I am opinionated about certain things.

ladedah · #11 04-18-2007, 03:34 AM

We offered all the wine and beer a person could possibly want to drink, but if our guests wanted mixed drinks they had to pay for them...but they were available.

sparklesweetie · #12 04-18-2007, 03:52 AM

I agree that it is more common in the North than the South. Like CW, I'd much prefer to have the option of buying a drink if I wanted it.

We provided tea, lemonade, water, and beer. If you wanted anything else you had to pay for it. Seemed fair to me.

ETA: This is probably regional, but if you're having a summer party up here you're expected to BYOB, although sometimes there is a keg. Just a slight twist on the party angle.

pashmoloo · #13 04-18-2007, 07:52 AM

Im learning so many things from you girls!! In the Uk we provide drinks at the reception and its usually a glass of wine before the meal, a glass with the meal and a glass of champagne for the toast. After the meal there is usually a bar for people to buy there own drinks or you can provide a ready paid bar. Then there is a break for everyone to go home or relax somewhere before the night do starts, and its very rare that it would have ready paid bar for that.

Julz518 · #14 04-18-2007, 03:01 PM

I agree that a cash bar is better than no bar... BUT it sounds as though you are really offering a "time-limited" bar... only during the coktail hour.

I would advise against this, unless your price for the bar is SET IN STONE with your venue and you trust all your guests. If you are paying by the drink though, you may be in for a shock. It is only right that if you plan to "close" the bar during dinner, that you let people know... but in my experience that encourages people to load up BEFORE dinner - getting (and drinking) multiple drinks on an empty stomach. So not only can it end up not saving you money, but you could end up with a lot of very drunk guests.

I think since you are providing wine for each table, you don't really NEED to provide a bar. Or maybe you could provide a limited open bar - beer & wine only - instead of wine on the tables. What kind of venue are you having the recption in? If it is a hotle or a restaurant, it's possible they will have another bar on the premisses that you can refer your guest to for mixed drinks.

Good Luck!

happynicky28 · #15 04-18-2007, 05:45 PM

First of all, thank you for the welcome.

I didnt realize this was a heated issue.

But all of you make a good point. We are offering our guests alcohol ( one hour free beer and wine bar, two bottles of wine at dinner at every table and champagne) So it's not like we are not offering any free alchohol and of course there is free all you can drink ice tea, coffee, tea. So we figured if people want to drink more than that they can pay for it at the cash bar. And the cocktail hour is a set price for us so it doesnt matter how much the guests drink for that hour.

SerendipityCrafts · #16 04-18-2007, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happynicky28

We are offering our guests alcohol ( one hour free beer and wine bar, two bottles of wine at dinner at every table and champagne) So it's not like we are not offering any free alchohol and of course there is free all you can drink ice tea, coffee, tea. So we figured if people want to drink more than that they can pay for it at the cash bar.

Sounds like a fair compromise to me

We served unlimited red wine, white wine, red sangria, white sangria and a pretty strong rum punch at our wedding (as well as tea, coffee, pop & bottled water) and then I found out afterwards that one of our guests went to the store and snuck beer back into the reception. I was so annoyed - I guess he couldn't manage one friggin evening on what we were serving!!!???

TheaterDiva1 · #17 04-18-2007, 06:26 PM

I'm of the "cash bar is a no-no" camp myself. Sure, I may be disappointed if there's no alcohol, but I can deal. You can have a partial bar, or what I've heard referred to as a "California bar" - wine, beer and soda, but no hard liquor. Or just have champagne for toasts.

555Ann555 · #18 04-18-2007, 09:44 PM

I have absolutely no objections to a cash bar at all, and contrary to popular opinion I would not be standing around talking about you for having one.

Montanabride · #19 04-18-2007, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 555Ann555

I have absolutely no objections to a cash bar at all, and contrary to popular opinion I would not be standing around talking about you for having one.

I agree, i think people will understand that this is helping you cut cost as well as have a very nice reception.

Julz518 · #20 04-18-2007, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 555Ann555

I have absolutely no objections to a cash bar at all, and contrary to popular opinion I would not be standing around talking about you for having one.

I know I've been to weddings with open bars, cash bars and no bars... and honestly I can't remember which was which and I definitely didn't think any less of the people who had cash bars... I probably complained about the lack of wine at the no-bars, but that's would have been because I'm not a big fan of "traditional" wedding recptions.