General Wedding Music - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

transferred post · #1 12-21-2005, 12:54 PM

This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by autumnalyssa on 3/06/03.

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posted by autumnalyssa

Hi Jeff,

My fiance and I mainly listen primarily to "indie," that is, alternative independent-label music. We do not listen to top 40 music at all, and because of this, we had originally planned on not having dancing at our wedding at all. As it approaches, however, we have started to feel that we would be missing out on a lot by not having dancing. Our next idea was to play only older, standards, ie, Frank Sinatra, Big Band, etc. BUT, I began to think that limiting the music to this more traditional style might inhibit a lot of guests who don't know traditional dance styles from dancing. I can't expect that all my guests are going to take dance lessons. But we really really want to avoid cheesy disco music, and the chicken dance/hokey pokey/macarena scene. What do we do??

thanks,
Autumn

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posted by Jeff Allen

Hi Autumn,
Please scroll through my response:
My fiancé and I mainly listen primarily to "indie," that is, alternative independent-label music.
<<Just because “indie,” music is not top 40 it doesn’t mean that there aren’t some danceable tempos within its format. As a continuation to this post include 3 or 4 songs that you may want to use and I’ll analyze them for you! >>
We do not listen to top 40 music at all, and because of this, we had originally planned on not having dancing at our wedding at all. As it approaches, however, we have started to feel that we would be missing out on a lot by not having dancing.
<<I agree not only from your point of view but also on behalf of your guests.>>
Our next idea was to play only older, standards, i.e., Frank Sinatra, Big Band, etc. BUT, I began to think that limiting the music to this more traditional style might inhibit a lot of guests who don't know traditional dance styles from dancing. I can't expect that all my guests are going to take dance lessons.
<< I think this would be a marvelous idea perhaps even for a theme to your reception. Have a separate note printed out to be included with your invitations or set out after your RSVP’s are returned that states the theme of the wedding: i.e. dinner and dancing to the wonderful American pop standards of the 40’s & 50’s. Make sure to bring your best partner and your dance shoes. You would be amazed at how many people who attend weddings like this do go out and take the dance lessons that they always meant to take. This gives them a goal. Also I have taught lessons to entire wedding parties and families, at the studio, at the reception dinner, and yes even at weddings, anniversaries, and Bar Mitzvahs. With a highly skilled dance teacher / entertainer your guest will have a “ball”! >>
But we really really want to avoid cheesy disco music, and the chicken dance/hokey pokey/macarena scene.
<< I don’t blame you for not liking this music so definitely eliminate some of them – however if there are any children or groups of single women, etc. a line dance or two allows them to get up on the dance floor to stretch their legs and enjoy the festivities. But believe me, I hear you!!! I have to tell you that within the ranks of disco music there are some brilliant compositions if you are familiar with the music. I have to say that because I was the United States Disco Hustle Champion and that televised event took place in the Grand Ballroom of the Waldorf Astoria. A good DJ will provide you a music play list. You make and eliminate the selections. A better DJ will play you samples if you have questions. Take the time and make your choices. If you want post the semi-final list and I’ll say yea or ney to each but I will NOT recommend a list of songs – that’s your job.>>

Let me know if you have more questions.

Jeff Allen

The Complete Guide to Slow Dancing,video,
or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ballroom Dancing, including Emergency Wedding Routine
Quickstart to Tango,Swing,& Social Dancing all to make your big day
a dream please visit: http://www.quickstartbooks.com

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posted by autumnalyssa

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for all your great suggestions, we will definitely take them into consideration; although I think we will probably not do the "oldies" theme, because we want more variety. We will probably just make sure the DJ doesn't play stuff we hate!

We have been thinking a lot about our first dance, and have come up with a couple that we like. First, "Tenderly" by Billie Holiday, off the album "Solitude." We also like "The Best is Yet to Come" by Frank Sinatra, off "The Very Good Years." But I think our favorite so far is "That's How Strong my Love is" by Otis Redding, off "The Very Best of Otis Redding, Vol. 1." Which of these songs would you suggest, and how would we dance to them?

Thanks again,
Autumn

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posted by Jeff Allen

Hi Autumn,

<<Thanks for all your great suggestions, we will definitely take them into consideration; although I think we will probably not do the "oldies" theme, because we want more variety. We will probably just make sure the DJ doesn't play stuff we hate!>>
That’s the way to go - use the playlist and begin to eliminate what you don’t like.

<<We have been thinking a lot about our first dance, and have come up with a couple that we like. First, "Tenderly" by Billie Holiday, off the album "Solitude." >>

Tenderly is a slow romantic ballad performed at 17 Bars per minute. Scroll down to see my info about Slow Dancing.

<<We also like "The Best is Yet to Come" by Frank Sinatra, off "The Very Good Years.">>

You have 4 choices I'll list them from the most difficult to the easiest.
1. West Coast Swing - a very sultry slotted form of Swing dancing that is enormously entertaining both to view and dance. I would dance this but it would take you 5 - 6 months of regular lessons to learn for a spotlight dance!
2. Night Club Two-Step used for medium ballad rhythms its choreography is taken from the Samba. Good dancers can look smooth doing this one otherwise its better not to do this as a spotlight. In a crowd its not bad and more forgiving. You'd need about 5 months of regular instruction and again to look smooth you have to get comfortable with this one right away.
3. The Foxtrot - a smooth rhythm dance that I cover in my book "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ballroom Dancing" that can be learned quickly by reading the book prior to and then during 2 - 4 private lessons.
Walking into a studio with no preparation you would need about 8 - 10 privates. The book provides a strong enough foundation that you can really cut your $$$$ down, it also pictures and demonstrates "The Wedding Dip," which works for any Bride & Groom's song.
4. Slow Ballad Dancing using every other beat of music as demonstrated in my video - The Complete Guide to Slow Dancing. The both the booklet and video describe how to do this. The video works extremely well for the traditional 1st dance as well as the parent dances.
Forgive me if you think this response a plug but I have taught well over a thousand wedding couples to dance for their day and I have prepared all my materials to thoroughly suit their needs!

<<But I think our favorite so far is "That's How Strong my Love is" by Otis Redding, off "The Very Best of Otis Redding, Vol. 1." Which of these songs would you suggest, and how would we dance to them?>>
This is a great song by Otis one of my very favorite R & B artists!! This tempo is one of a very fast or Viennese Waltz and is common to romantic ballads. This is doable if you are experienced dancers. However, I generally recommend the Hesitation Waltz as described in my book and depicted on my video “The Complete Guide to Slow Dancing.” In this case you would step on the first beat of the bar and hold the 2nd & 3rd then tap on the 1st beat of the following bar and hold the 2nd & 3rd. This is feasible by anyone.
Well there you are - your choice according to your level of athletic coordination (this is what always determines your dance learning curve - good athletes seem to do well in any physical endeavor dance certainly being one of them) and the time allotment prior to your "Big Day!"

Jeff Allen

The Complete Guide to Slow Dancing,video,
or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ballroom Dancing, including Emergency Wedding Routine
Quickstart to Tango,Swing,& Social Dancing all to make your big day
a dream please visit: http://www.quickstartbooks.com

transferred post · #2 12-21-2005, 12:54 PM

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posted by autumnalyssa

Thanks again Jeff; I am definitely going to get your video and make my fiance learn some steps. He is a little hesitant I think because he's afraid that if we learn a routine or something, it will seem less organic, spontaneous and romantic. But I am going to try to convince him that just learning some steps doesn't necessarily take all the sponteneity out of the dance.

Here's my next question. My dad is a classical guitarist, and I have tracked down a song that he used to play when I was a little girl while I was falling asleep. It's called Tarrega's Cappricio Arabe; I really love this song, and want to incorporate it into my wedding somehow. My two thoughts were 1) to walk down the isle to it being played by a solo guitarist, or 2) Use it for my first dance with my dad. I am a little concerned that it may be too meloncholy for my walk down the isle; Do you think it is feasable to use it for a first dance with my dad? If so, how do you think we should dance to it? (My dad is less than skilled as a dancer.)

Thanks,
Autumn

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posted by autumnalyssa

Here's a little more info on the song: I think the song title is usually spelled Capricho Arabe; the composer is Frasisco Tarrega. You could probably find it on any number of Spanish guitar CDs, but I found it on Christopher Parkening's "In the Spanish Style." I realize its a longer song with some lulls in it; For either options I would just use the dominant refrain from the song.

Thanks again,
Autumn

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posted by Jeff Allen

Hi Autumn,

Please scroll down for my responses:

<<Thanks again Jeff; >>

Your very welcome!

<<I am definitely going to get your video and make my fiance learn some steps. He is a little hesitant I think because he's afraid that if we learn a routine or something, it will seem less organic, spontaneous and romantic. But I am going to try to convince him that just learning some steps doesn't necessarily take all the spontaneity out of the dance. >>

You can call me toll free at 1-888-254-3162 to order the video. Several couples who have appeared on TV’s “The Wedding Story,” have used this video and impressed the producer enough to give them much more than the usual 10 seconds of the “Penguin Shuffle,” the non-dancers use. When you know that you are going to dance at an assigned time – it is definitely NOT spontaneous! By learning a variety of dance figures the leader can “spontaneously” choose which figure to use to match the movement of the music, movement around the dance floor becomes an option of choice, these and other elements lend themselves to photographic spontaneity (which certainly preserves the moment and mood). Having nothing prepared make 30 seconds, never mind several minutes, seem like an eternity out there alone. Couples who never prepared for their 1st dance have confided in me saying, “It is the number one thing they would have changed about their reception.” By contrast those that have done a little something are overjoyed when the whole room is cheering for them.

<<Here's my next question. My dad is a classical guitarist, and I have tracked down a song that he used to play when I was a little girl while I was falling asleep. It's called Tarrega's Cappricio Arabe; I really love this song, and want to incorporate it into my wedding somehow. My two thoughts were 1) to walk down the isle to it being played by a solo guitarist, or 2) Use it for my first dance with my dad. I am a little concerned that it may be too melancholy for my walk down the isle; >>

I listened to it and agree, although this might be a better choice than dancing to it.

<<Do you think it is feasible to use it for a first dance with my dad?>>

Not really but possible, I guess.

<<If so, how do you think we should dance to it? (My dad is less than skilled as a dancer.)>>

Well if you choose the dancing route the same video would work. It’s very common that musicians however talented frequently act if they’ve never experienced music before when on the dance floor.

I have an idea after your Dad presents you down the isle have him step to the pulpit and play it for you both prior to your vows! Then dance to something else later.

<<Here's a little more info on the song: I think the song title is usually spelled Capricho Arabe; the composer is Frasisco Tarrega. You could probably find it on any number of Spanish guitar CDs, but I found it on Christopher Parkening's "In the Spanish Style." I realize its a longer song with some lulls in it; For either options I would just use the dominant refrain from the song.>>

This is exactly the problem with classical music – it paints a picture with sound and varies in register, etc. making it perfect for the ballet or modern dance which is designed to paint a picture or tell a story with dance. This is why these are all called performing arts.

With ballroom, Latin, & Swing dancing we express the dominant musical characteristics of popular music maintaining the consistency of its rhythm on the social dance floor where space is at a premium.

Jeff Allen

The Complete Guide to Slow Dancing,video,
or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ballroom Dancing, including Emergency Wedding Routine
Quickstart to Tango,Swing,& Social Dancing all to make your big day
a dream please visit: http://www.quickstartbooks.com