This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by sylvia fisher on 8/02/02.
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posted by sylvia fisher
My question is this "My father is deceased, and my 23yr old son will be giving me away at my wedding, shuold he be the one to dance the traditional fathers dance or should it be my older brother
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posted by wynelle
Sylvia, I am going top jump in hee since we haven't heard from Jeff in 10 days. Traditionally this is a father-daughter dance. As such, it is done with your father, or another male who assisted in your growing up (such as a grandfather or older uncle or older brother who "stepped In" after your father passed on.) In this case, you certainly can dance with your 23 year old (I did), but it is not for the traditional father-daughter dance, but should be identified as a different special dance.
Also, unless your 23 year old son is financially supporting you, technically he is "escorting you" down the aisle, not "giving you away." But how nice that he is escorting you...
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posted by Jeff Allen
In these days where the "non-nuclear," family is as common as not, the Bride bestows the honor on her escort "down the aisle." So, more frequently than not it is called an honor dance and if done with your natural father - use the traditional name of the father daughter dance.
Almost none of the Brides of today and especially those with whom I deal
(including my own daughters) refer to the escort process at the ceremony as being "given away" but rather being "presented." Our society recognizes the honor of presenting the bride and does not look favorably on the terms "being given away!" People are not possesions and quality relationships should be earned by respect and nurturing and have no bearing on financial nor even natural relationships
This little essay has been done for all the brides that angusih over these selections between step parents and natural parents etc.
Jeff Allen
For the perfect wedding dance
video & booklet, "The Complete
Guide to Slow Dancing,"
http://www.quickstartbooks.com
For the Quickstart Series
of dance books see:"The
First Step," at this site!
dancing at reception
Linear Mode
