So whats fair? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

DavidsWife · #1 03-25-2007, 07:01 PM

In regards to my last post about BM dresses and pricing.

What is a good total amount? Roughly?

Dress, Alterations, Shoes? $100.00,$200.00,$300.00

I have no idea what to do, but I know I need to know if Amber is willing to pay! So any help would be great!

Marge129 · #2 03-25-2007, 07:10 PM

If you are asking them to pay for everything themselves, I think $300 (US) for everything is a maximum.

I'm getting my dress for my friend's wedding and it costs $150 (US). I'm using shoes I already have, so I will just need to pay for alterations. I'm perfectly fine with all that, and will do it.

I was in a wedding before where the dresses alone were $200 (US). The bride payed for half of the dress, and we covered everything else. Again... fine.

My dresses for my wedding were a bit more expensive. I *think* they were around $200. BUT, my sister (also MOH) picked them out... I didn't. The dress I liked more was cheaper. I asked both BM's about it beforehand, and both of them were OK with paying the full price for the dress.

DavidsWife · #3 03-25-2007, 07:20 PM

That all sounds good Margie!

If the girls have shoes they want to wear and save some money thats totally fine. I don't mind that at all!

Amber's aunt can do alterations so I know she wouldn't have to pay for that!

I just called around to 11 different Shops, The prices I'm getting are anywhere from 169.00-300.00

I want them to be happy, and I truly don't want to ask for to much!

Heather · #4 03-25-2007, 07:21 PM

It really depends on where they are in their lives. I had a variety of women in my wedding, some on a very tight budget, so I made sure the BM dresses weren't more than $130 (US), not including alterations. I let them wear whatever they wanted for shoes. I also paid for their hair & makeup if they wanted it done - well, my Mom offered to pay for it as a gift to me I should say.

I was in a wedding (MOH) this past September and the dress was $175, with alterations it cost me about $240. I had to buy special shoes, and my hair was paid for by the bride's Mom. I thought the dress was a bit expensive, but I also paid for a trip to the ocean for me, the bride and a BM - all on my own. The wedding and everything that went along with it eventually cost me over $1500 from beginning to end. Never again. lol. Never.

If she's having a hard time with a max of $300, I would really, really try to find something at least half that price.

DavidsWife · #5 03-25-2007, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marge129

I I asked both BM's about it beforehand, and both of them were OK with paying the full price for the dress.

I too would ask, and if they weren't ok with it we would look somewhere else.

I just hope I'm not comming across as a money hungry bitch! I just have really no idea what I'm doing!

DavidsWife · #6 03-25-2007, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

I
If she's having a hard time with a max of $300, I would really, really try to find something at least half that price.

of course, and like I said I will do everything I can to find inexpensive dresses.

I guess they could always rent? $100.00 roughly!

Heather · #7 03-25-2007, 07:30 PM

You're not coming across that way at all. Promise!

I remember well how hard it was to be compromising with those involved versus what you really want. It's not easy girl. Also, not everyone will always be happy with what you decide. You can't please everyone. They just shouldn't tell you about it, lol. That's what we're here for.

DavidsWife · #8 03-25-2007, 07:38 PM

Thanks Heather, I needed that!

Marge129 · #9 03-25-2007, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidsFiance

I just hope I'm not comming across as a money hungry bitch! I just have really no idea what I'm doing!

I agree with H... you're not coming across like that! We're all new to this the frist time around! It's hard to plan a wedding... that's why we're here!!!!!

imstilldreaming · #10 03-25-2007, 08:49 PM

I would also say it may depend on whether they are having to travel for your wedding.

I was in a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and had to fly from D.C. to Michigan and take a day of vacation time, so the dress cost was important to me. Thankfully, she was able to find dresses that were being discontinued for $100, let us wear our own shoes, and getting our hair done was optional. Our gifts were necklaces that she made. All of that helped a LOT.

whiddle · #11 03-25-2007, 09:23 PM

IMO, anything more than $200 (us) total is too much and thats even pushing it.

NovemberGal · #12 03-26-2007, 01:28 AM

If your friends are strapped for money, try to keep it to $100-150 TOTAL. I don't think $200 or a little over is unreasonable for everything (alterations, shoes, etc) if money isn't a huge consideration. I think $300 is too much. Also, I'm only counting what you require in this cost--if you aren't dictating particular shoes or hair styles or whatever, I wouldn't count that in this total, because they can save or splurge as they choose.

I wanted to keep the cost of my dresses as close to $100 (just for the dress) as possible. I had two girls who I knew couldn't afford anything, and told them when I asked them to be in the wedding that I would pay for their dresses, but even though the other two girls don't have any finance concerns, I just didn't feel right asking them to spend a lot of money on the dresses. I looked at dresses with my two MOHs (one of whom was paying for her dress, one of whom wasn't) and they picked out options that were more expensive than I would have chosen, but as long as they were happy with them, that was what mattered (I picked a color, but other than that had no major requirements).

One thing to keep in mind--if you have any plus size or very tall girls, it is usually extra money. Two of my girls (the two I was paying for) are both heavy (over size 20) so there was $20 extra for each of theirs, and I can't remember if one of them needed extra length as well, but their dresses (actually, they were separates) were close to $200 each. Before alterations (I don't remember how much alterations were). I told them they could wear any black shoes, do whatever they wanted with their hair, and wear any jewelry (I trusted their taste!

)

I bought them pashminas to use as wraps as bm gifts.

ETA--Oh yeah, I'm using US dollars here.

Leslee&Jake · #13 03-26-2007, 02:22 AM

I think that you need to talk to her and see what she wants to do. Maybe she can look online and send you links towards what she likes and then you will have an idea bout how much $ she has to spend.

DavidsWife · #14 03-26-2007, 03:15 AM

Thanks for all the imput girls!

I did talk to Amber and she is fine with the price. I did explain that $300.00 is over budgeting. She totally understands and said she doesn't mind the expense now that she knows what she needs to be saving.

At the end of the call she told me she has no problem saving the money!

So that was a bonus!

Now lets just hope our friendship strengthens over the next couple of months