Bride's Maid Problems! - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

DavidsWife · #1 03-25-2007, 05:21 PM

So Girls, After trying on my dress Thursday my mom and I had a look around @ tuxes as well as BM dresses. I have searched High & Low for this color

I cannot find it anywhere unless it's made! I have talked to both girls and neither of them have the extra money! So fine, I don't mind at all, we'll search for something else.
What I'm looking @ now are these (But in Brown)
http://a6.dessy.com/index.cfm?go=dresses&style=A6244 (for some reason I couldn't photobucket it).

Anyways, So I sent both the girls an e-mail asking what they thought of brown and if they had any other options for colors. Alyssa (In Switzerland, Dave's sister) No problem @ all. She was happy with anything and provided I could give her a rough idea as to cost she would be totally fine. Awesome!!! That was great to hear!

Amber on the other hand calls, her exact words (or pretty damn close) "I'm not spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a BM dress. Your lucky I'll even wear one. Just put me in a dress and stick me up there."

< that was me!

Then she asked how much roughly, I told her I had just found one I liked and the prices was $266.00 without alterations. She freaks out. So I then explained that you pay a portion now and the rest later. So she was somewhat better about it.

She suggested going to Suzy Shier (I dunno if u guys have that in the US). I told her I didn't want to do that because they might not like the same style and the dresses need to be the same material! So when they're bought at a shoppe (wedding) they are cut from the exact same fabric! It's safer.

Anywho, So after talking with Dave. This is what we came up with. We will tell the girls that dress amount will not exceed $300.00 (without alterations) And that of course we want to save them money. Who knows we could come across the "perfect" dresses for $99.00. I'm not saying thats not possible.

I know for a fact amber will kick up a fuss. I just am not sure what to do!

I need your opinions and help please. I would like to call her today and let her know this!

Since she has been home also, Feb 9th She hasn't called me once, NOT ONCE! I called her to see if she wanted to come see my dress on Thursday, she doesn't return my calls sometimes for 3 days! I hate to say it but I'm really starting to wonder if I should have asked her to be in the wedding in the 1st place.

WHAT DO I DO?

Jayme

Marksbride · #2 03-25-2007, 05:28 PM

I'm sorry you are having problems.

I don't know if you have a David's Bridal in your area. (I had so many problems I'm not recommending them, however maybe your stores are better)
That dress that you posted is the exact one on the david's bridal website. $150
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesma...or.jsp?cfid=43

I know that have that color in a couple styles. Good luck!

DavidsWife · #3 03-25-2007, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marksbride

I don't know if you have a David's Bridal in your area.

They're isn't any in Canada! Thats originally where I found the dress! Neither of the girls like the style and thats the only style they have

Marge129 · #4 03-25-2007, 06:14 PM

Is that $266 in Canadian money or US money? If it's Canadian, that converts to $229.31 US money. Personally, I think that's an AWFUL lot to ask your BM's to spend on a dress if you're not helping them with the cost.

Just my opinion, though.

Heather · #5 03-25-2007, 06:21 PM

Honestly, I think that's pretty pricey too. Once you add alterations and shoes, it's going to be a lot more. They always get you on the alterations... Plus the shower, shower gift, bachelorette party, wedding gift.

It can't hurt to give her an out if you're second guessing your decision. You could ask her if the expense is too much and if she would rather attend as a guest. She may get pissed off, but it doesn't sound like she's being very supportive anyway (aside from the dress.)

seansgirl · #6 03-25-2007, 06:34 PM

I went onto the house of brides web site and my MOH ordered her dress off line. That way we didn't have to run all over the place, she is in Red Deer and I am 3 hours south of Calgary so it was just a lot easier. We actually got on the phone and went on line at the same time to the same pages and had a blast!!! I know it sounds goofy but it was fun, the prices were good too. Just remember to add about 18% for exchange on the posted price. We were both happy with how much we saved and not to mention even happier not dealing with running around from store to store and finding parking.

Good Luck with your girlfriend, if you are open to this idea maybe she would like it too.

mluvsk · #7 03-25-2007, 06:52 PM

If I were a bridesmaid for someone and they told me that the bm dress would be no more than 300 dollars, I might be a little worried. Especially in my point in life, 300 dollars is a lot of money to me! Three of my bm's are from college and knowing that they would have to pay to travel down here to be in my wedding, I promised the girls I would get the best priced dress I could find. I found mine at DB for 130 and it's long enough that I am not making them get new shoes they can just wear white shoes they already own. I would keep looking for something. THere are a lot of websites online with good priced BM dress, like just over a hundred dollars.

DavidsWife · #8 03-25-2007, 06:52 PM

Thanks Girls,

That would be in Canadian Dollars! Your right maybe it is a little much to ask, But like I said, I'm not saying it's going to be $300.00 But at least it gives them something to budget for!

Like I said, If I can save the girls money I want to do that!!!!

O boy, Now you got me thinking! I dunno what I'm gonna do!

DavidsWife · #9 03-25-2007, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mluvsk

If I were a bridesmaid for someone and they told me that the bm dress would be no more than 300 dollars, I might be a little worried. Especially in my point in life, 300 dollars is a lot of money to me!

Like I said, No-One is saying it's going to cost $300.00 This is just a number to go by in so they can save!

Leslee&Jake · #10 03-26-2007, 02:41 AM

I agree that telling them to save about $300 might shock her but if you explain that you are trying to over budget for the dress and truely plan on spending less I dont see a prob. I think it sucks that she is ignoring you. Not COOL!!!

Complicated Woman · #11 03-26-2007, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidsFiance

Like I said, No-One is saying it's going to cost $300.00 This is just a number to go by in so they can save!

I understand, but personally I think $266 is an awful lot. I wouldn't be willing to spend up to $300 on a dress. I know it's your wedding, but BM's have to shell out a LOT of money...between shower expenses, bachelorette party, travel expenses (if applicable), alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair...IMHO, you should try to find out how much they CAN spend and work from there.

I personally let my BM's pick whatever dress they wanted from Eden Bridals in our color, chocolate brown (except it had to be sleeveless and had to be full length) and they were able to pick in their price range. They looked great and were happy w/ the price and styling...have you considered trying something like that?

Good luck!

Emily · #12 03-26-2007, 12:27 PM

Why dont you go and just have a look in some regular shops, not bridal shops?!?! I got our Bridesmaids dresses off the rack from a high street store! They all loved them because they were reasonable (£40) and also it is something they can use again! We paid for the girls shoes and accessories, maybe if you are asking them to spend $300 you could offer to pay for their accessories and shoes as that might soften the blow a bit??

Good luck!

feb-bride · #13 03-26-2007, 03:59 PM

Honestly? I'd be upset if I was told that I'd have to spend that kind of money on a bridesmaid dress. The most I've ever spent is $100 (they were made for us).

ladedah · #14 03-26-2007, 04:15 PM

I can't really say anything because my bridesmaid dresses were $250...that THEY picked out....but I can say, that they were black cocktail dresses (wearable) and I paid for shoes, jewelry, hair, make-up, etc....

I guess I would say that if you really want Amber in your wedding you're going to want to pick less expensive dresses......and if it's more important to get that particular dress and everyone else is okay with it...then she has to make the decision on wether or not she can afford it......

birdie · #15 03-26-2007, 04:21 PM

I agree with everything everyone has said. I think that is even a bit much to budget for. I was worried about the price of mine ($145) but they all liked it. It is pricey to be a BM. I like Bryanne's suggestion to find out how much is their limit and work from there.

justnmary · #16 03-26-2007, 05:23 PM

The price is the reason why I gave all my girls a choice. I chose the color and gave them the choice in the style that they wore. This way they couldn't and didn't complain on the price....they were picking it! I also had one that had her dress made....it worked out great.

Now, one wedding I stood up in cost me (in clothing alone) $450.....$300 for my dress, and $150 for my daughters. When she asked us to stand up I asked her about the prices for the dresses and she said, mine wouldn't exceed $200 and my daughters wouldn't be more then $100......It was still WAY OVER budget and it hurt bad!!! She bought my shoes....$10 slippers from walmart, but I had to get shoes for my daughter....she forgot those. The morning of the wedding I was running around Walmart looking for slippers/shoes for my then 6 year old. I was not happy!

Strongly think of cutting the cost on the dresses.

BJC777SRL · #17 03-26-2007, 06:16 PM

I'm really sorry but I have to agree with the majority here.

If my friend told me no more than $300 without alterations, I'd shoot right back that I can't afford more than $150 without alterations, tops. I'd drop out of the wedding if it were more than that. I just can't afford it.

Emily · #18 03-26-2007, 06:17 PM

Jayme are you talking in Canadian dollars or American Dollars when you talk about the budget of $300?? I know its not much of a difference but $300 Canadian dollars is about $250 US dollars, which all of a sudden doesnt make it seem that bad if that means they will get there dress, shoes and accessories. I still think maybe you and Dave should chip in something just to make it that bit easier on them!?!

anna32182 · #19 03-27-2007, 01:15 AM

how about a roadtrip to the states for the dresses and get them altered at home?

i'd feel a little nervous about asking them to put up that kind of money for a dress, but i'd feel a little better about saying "hey! i found a way to save some buku bucks! lets get in my new car and drive to the states!".

Or, come up with a cheaper idea.

Sorry girl... i'm just being honest.

but if it's important to you for these girls to stand up for you, you have to make it easy where you can.

DavidsWife · #20 03-27-2007, 02:56 PM

Actually anna, good idea! My mom had mentioned us going to Montana for a weekend and having a look there. Which i think is an awesome idea! I might play that one up!!!

Also, I will pay for shoes, jewllery, make-up, hair! I'm not leaving the whole bill to the girls! That wouldn't be fair