the anticipation! (long) - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

morganova · #1 03-09-2007, 09:57 AM

Ok, so sorry this is so long, but I'm really curious to know if others have the same feelings I'm having about anticipating the wedding day!

As my wedding draws nearer, I'm having all kinds of feelings. Here I am, planning my wedding for just over a year. I've proudly put my ring-hand in proper view of others for over a year.

I've enjoyed talking about my "fiance" and being an engaged woman, going out together and knowing inside that we're planning a wedding, planning to get married, to be together forever.

My FH has been very supportive through the planning process and interested in all aspects of our wedding. Even when he says I should make the final decision about something, he sits patiently and listens to my endless agony over invitation design and dress fittings. :love:

And now it will happen in a mere three weeks!

I am so excited and I cannot wait. I can't wait to be this man's wife. I can't wait to share our love with all our friends and family. I can't wait to put my dress on and party through the night! But I really wonder how I'm going to feel when it's all over. My wedding has been this huge anticipation for so long and I know the actual day goes by so quickly. Afterward, I think I'll miss the planning, the research and the joy of being engaged. Don't get me wrong, I'm more sure about marrying my FH than I have been of anything in my life. I'm ready for marriage. I'm just worried that I'm going to miss the planning and be let down when the wedding is over.

I really didn't think I would ever get married. I never thought I believed in marriage, that it was only a piece of paper. Until I met FH. My feelings have totally changed and marriage is the most natural thing we could and should be doing together.

But I think a part of me also wonders about the loss of my "singlehood". I'm the last of my friends to get married; I was always the single one, but also the free one. Although, I really don't think marriage is going to change the way I live my life in a huge way. I know now that I'll still be me, just married. I'm more mature and settled down now, and I'm committed to my FH and I'm ready to settle down with him as husband and wife.

For those of you who are already married, what did you ladies feel after the wedding? Did you have any feelings of sadness? Or were you elated to be finally married after all the preparation? For those of you planning your wedding, how do you think you will feel?

Complicated Woman · #2 03-09-2007, 11:42 AM

People have asked me a few times if I miss planning the wedding...and I have to say, I thought I might, but I don't! The last couple weeks were so nerve wracking that when it was over, I was just so relieved and happy that it went well.

Plus, I just love being married! It is so nice to introduce my husband and to finally be a Mrs, to have and maintain a nice home for the man I love. I don't at all feel tied down or less freedom -- I am still who I was before I was married, but now I am joined to a man I admire and respect and know I have him in my corner. In many ways, his love and support frees me to be even more comfortable and confident in my own skin than I ever was before I had him in my life. It is a great feeling!

Marksbride · #3 03-09-2007, 12:33 PM

I totally agree with Bryanne. I think once you are finally married you are going to be so happy and proud. Honeslty, I dont think I'm going to miss planning. It's been fun and all, but I can't wait for the next 3 months and 21 days

until we are finally husband and wife.
Everything will be fine!

SerendipityCrafts · #4 03-09-2007, 12:43 PM

Gotta be honest here .... I don't miss the wedding planning but I do miss the build up, & the anticipation.

2 years before the wedding, DH & I organized a HUGE high school reunion, the following year we launched our website (another HUGE undertaking) and then we had our totally DIY wedding to throw ourselves into.

The anticipation was wonderful, being married is wonderful but both Hugh & I experienced a bit of "after the wedding blues". We looked at each other and wondered out loud "ok now what?" We felt as if the day had come and left so quickly. I'd like to do it all over again

Heather · #5 03-09-2007, 02:55 PM

The only time I really miss planning is when someone on here does something really cool that I wish I would have thought of for my own wedding. Other than that, I was relieved it was over. We had an amazing honeymoon so I fell back into "regular" life after a nice, long rest. Kind of like the frosting on the cake, and now I have time to eat it.

I did miss the anticipation, as Serendipity said, it's hard to be so "wired" for so long and then have it be over in a few hours.

As Bryanne said, there will be other things that take it's place...

feb-bride · #6 03-09-2007, 03:08 PM

I agree with what Heather posted.

You know, I really thought I'd miss the planning. I even thought about becoming a wedding planner. However - once the wedding was behind me, I was actually relieved to get some of my "free time" back.

morganova · #7 03-09-2007, 03:15 PM

Wow, this is really helpful. Thanks for your comments!

I guess it's probably true what you all say about not missing the planning. Like, if my mom emails me one more thing to look at and reminds me to decide on the appetizers again, and where am I at with the music...I'm gonna flip out.! It will be nice to have some "time" back that I've spent with this. And I guess there are other things in life to anticipate, I'll just need to look for them!

It's funny what you said about becoming a wedding planner, Feb. My best friend had always wanted a big wedding. She ended up eloping last year. She had a nice dress, but it wasn't a "wedding dress" and they went to dinner afterwards but just went home after that, and she really missed out on the big ceremony and reception she always wanted. Now? She's training to be a wedding planner!! She loves this planning stuff!

I just really like being engaged.

justnmary · #8 03-09-2007, 03:55 PM

I so don't miss any of the planning other then some of the things I wished I did and didn't get the chance to do. I do wish hubby would have been willing to wait until this year to give me more of an opportunity to 'shop' around, but he was hell bent on being married in 2006 and it couldn't be in Oct....(my ex and I married then), it couldn't be Sept.....too many other weddings.....couldn't be in Nov. ......deer season....and couldn't be in December....Christmas. So we settled on Aug and I had just about 4 months to do it all. Plus we were remodeling our house. So the stress for me was huge. We fought a lot. But I'm happy we're married (even though I complain a lot) and I'm definitely glad it's over. Good luck! 3 weeks is just around the corner.

ladedah · #9 03-09-2007, 06:06 PM

Okay...I'll admit it...

I totally had a case of the post wedding blues....I mean I was extremely excited about being married and our wedding was more than we could have possibly asked for....but then about a month after we got back from our honeymoon and I'd see a new Bridal Magazine at the grocery store check-out....I admit I had some withdrawals....you, know this thing that consumes you for over a year and one day gone.....poof!

555Ann555 · #10 03-09-2007, 07:06 PM

I had so much going on post-wedding that I had no time to dwell on it! I new job that was really busy, then house hunting & job hunting, now new job & new house to get to grips with! It's been 10 months & I have no clue where the time has gone

I do have a few friends who had wedding planning-withdrawal symptoms, but they are all couples who had lived together before the wedding. I think there is possibly less to keep you occupied if you've already merged your lives...

I had the lovely novelty of getting to play wife, which I doubt is the same experience for those who've already been living like that

Just the whole getting used to sharing everything, and working your lives around each other...

ladedah · #11 03-09-2007, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 555Ann555

I do have a few friends who had wedding planning-withdrawal symptoms, but they are all couples who had lived together before the wedding. I think there is possibly less to keep you occupied if you've already merged your lives...

Maybe that is what it was.....good observation, Ann....

sparklesweetie · #12 03-10-2007, 03:07 AM

Honestly...I miss planning a wedding..but just not my own, lol. I don't remember having much of a let down afterwards...I was just glad to be married! I do miss the anticipation a little...but there are other things to anticipate now!

Ann, I agree with you wholeheartedly!

mluvsk · #13 03-10-2007, 04:31 AM

I will breathe a sigh of relief when it is all over.

I'm ready to slow down a bit,I've been too busy with all this stuff!!

maroki13 · #14 03-10-2007, 04:41 AM

I honestly don't miss being engaged and I don't miss wedding planning. When I was engaged, I was sure that I loved wedding planning....until the last month got absolutely crazy, and then the wedding and reception were over in a few hours. DH and I did nothing but lie on the beach during our honeymoon (......well, not nothing

) but when we got back from the wedding I was ready to move on and spend some quality time with my husband. We've been married almost 7 months and I second Ann's post....where has all the time gone? I don't know what shift happened when we got married, but marriage is so much better than being engaged.

(We lived together before we were married so there weren't huge changes when we got married.) I can't even describe why, but I know I definitely wouldn't change my married life for anything, even for another chance to be engaged and plan my dream wedding again.

soulsearcher1968 · #15 03-10-2007, 07:10 AM

This will be my 3rd time getting married. I Know, I Know.

(2 have passed away.....this one better NOT DARE)

I was married with no planning right out of highschool. I loved being a stay at home wife and mom and having 2 beautiful babies.

The second one. The planning was all I did for 8 months. That became my full time with over time job. My DH laid out a budget, I fit inside of it. I did all my flowers, did all my decorating, wrote the entire wedding out, did all the invitations, and catered it myself. Talk about missing it. I was so detached from anything but wedding that I had a hard time figuring out what I was to do...silly me, I went and got a job and raised my step-son and another baby. LOL.

This time, I am so relaxed it isnt funny. I don't feel 1/16th the stress I did the second time. Things just seem to be going way to well. I know I won't miss it though. We have so much to do after the wedding is over. Remodeling the house, his business, my crafts and reading (wow, i need to catch up on real life). We are also looking at untying my tubes and having more kiddos. As if 2 boys at home isn't enough. LOL

I know that many people end up like I did at one time. Making it their lives and YEP they do get withdrawl. Just imagine all the wonderful things that are to come.

Emily · #16 03-16-2007, 02:13 PM

I definitely felt a bit depressed after the wedding!

But for us I suppose it was a little different than the other girls (but probably quite relevant to you) as we live in London and our wedding was in NZ which is where we are both from. So really it wasnt just the wedding it was the going home and catching up with everyone as well, when we went home we hadnt been home for two and a half years so as well as being excited about the wedding we were so excited about seeing all our families and friends and re-discovering our beautiful homeland! also our Honeymoon was amazing (Rarotonga) and we were really looking forward to that too. So our anticipation was massive and when we got back to London and back to the real world I felt a little bit lost for a few weeks - it was almost like 'oh, its all over, now what do I do??'

I got over that quickly by planning our next trip - we are going to NY in April for my husband 30th!

Good luck, but do expect to feel a little bit 'empty' when you get back to Prague!

morganova · #17 06-09-2007, 09:52 AM

Fast forward two months....

Can't say I really feel "let down". We had an amazing wedding. In the past two months, we've planned and held a second reception, are working on name change and other immigration/legal paperwork, are planning a summer trip to France and our honeymoon in October, and have heated discussions about when to start TTC and whether we should get a dog first. :rofl: I have no idea how I found so much time to plan.

And I've decided that being married is definately better than being engaged!

I'm glad to be back at here at Pash!

Heather · #18 06-09-2007, 01:33 PM

Congrats girl.