Dollar dance?

[tnbride]

I don't like to dance at all. I am so nervous about our first dance. But my mom reallllly thinks i should do the dollar dance bc she said my grandpa and dad will give me a ton of money. Is anyone else doing it? I think it may only be popular in some areas.

[Julz518]

Dollar Dances are pretty popular around here... but I don't know if we'll have one. I just feel they are a little "tacky" and my FH has no opinion on them.

I've never been to a local wedding that didn't have one, so I guess some of the guests may miss it. But I LIKE to dance, and look forward to the opportunity to flirt with all my FH's uncles and cousins (which I'll probably do anyway). I just think it's a little rude to ask for money (but is it really if people expect it??).

I don't think it makes sense to just do it for your dad & grampa. Wouldn't you dance with them anyway? Would they give you the money anyway? It doens't make sense that they have a "ton" of money set aside to give you at the dollar dance, knowing that you don't want to do one. It almost seems as though they want to embarass you. It would be much nicer of them to give it to you as a gift.

All in all, it's your call, not your mom's. She can't force you to dance. Just keep in mind that there may be some other people at your wedding who want to dance with you. You just have to decide if you are comfortable dancing with them.

[tnbride]

Originally Posted by Julz518

Dollar Dances are pretty popular around here... but I don't know if we'll have one. I just feel they are a little "tacky" and my FH has no opinion on them.

I've never been to a local wedding that didn't have one, so I guess some of the guests may miss it. But I LIKE to dance, and look forward to the opportunity to flirt with all my FH's uncles and cousins (which I'll probably do anyway). I just think it's a little rude to ask for money (but is it really if people expect it??).

I don't think it makes sense to just do it for your dad & grampa. Wouldn't you dance with them anyway? Would they give you the money anyway? It doens't make sense that they have a "ton" of money set aside to give you at the dollar dance, knowing that you don't want to do one. It almost seems as though they want to embarass you. It would be much nicer of them to give it to you as a gift.

All in all, it's your call, not your mom's. She can't force you to dance. Just keep in mind that there may be some other people at your wedding who want to dance with you. You just have to decide if you are comfortable dancing with them.

AH! no you misunderstood me! My mom was just saying you should do it bc she knows for a fact that 2 people (my dad & gpa) will give me alot of money bc they will be all happy and prob. tipsy. But yes I will dance with whoever wants to dance during the dollar dance. But i think everybody knows what to do during the dollar dance, they give you money if you dance with them. They won't have a ton of money set aside, they don't even know im going to do this but my mom was just saying, I should if i want a bunch of xtra honeymoon money. I don't see how they would be trying to embarasss me..?

[Julz518]

Ahhh... ok, I mis-understood when you said they would give you a "ton" of money... I was thinking they had like $100 set aside just for the dollar dance, and I didn't really get why they would do that unless they just wanted to "force" you to do it (which it sounded from your post like that would be embarassing to you cause you dont like to dance).

In any case, it is still up to you. I don't think you're mom's argument is very convincing - you shouldn't feel obligated to have one just to dance with your dad & grampa. So if you're truly uncomfortable with it, then don't do it. However, if you wanna do it, and think your guests would enjoy it - then go for it!

I, personally, still think they are tacky, but I also know they are a totally acceptible part of a wedding celebration (in some areas)... who knows, I may end up doing one after all!

ETA: I've heard from other brides that you really don't get that much from the dollar dance. Most people really only give a dollar... but I guess it depends on your guests.

[tnbride]

ya i would assume people would give a dollar. So i don't know why but my mom is seriously saying i am so dumb for not doing it. FH is too AND our DJ who does most of the weddings at this place says i should do it.. But ya i'll just see how im feeling i guess. Isn't it like you only dance for like a min. or something? Or you have a certain amount of time to dance with as many people as you can? I'm not even sure how it works, i've never heard of this til recently.

[peckmiranda]

I still haven't decided if I'm going to do a dollar dance. It's really popular in KS, and most people have one, but I think I'd feel like a hooker!!

[tnbride]

hahaaha ya i think its gonna be uncomfortable! but I don't know!

[Marge129]

I had one at my wedding. BUT, most places find them very tacky. Not many women on here are a fan of them.

[alongroadahead08]

I'm probably going to have one. I've never been to a wedding that DIDN'T have one. Very acceptable around here. There are people other than my dad and future intended that I would like to dance with, some that are like second dad's to me, so this is my oppritunity to spend some one on one time with them. I only think it's tacky if you go into a dollar dance thinking you are going to get tons of money...and that's not the way that I look at it. JMO

[birdie]

Originally Posted by Marge129

I had one at my wedding. BUT, most places find them very tacky. Not many women on here are a fan of them.

Margie, was your wedding in Ohio? Because Rob, (who's from Vandalia) says everyone will be expecting one from his side of the family. I don't like them and don't want one but he really does. Is it common in Ohio?

[Heather]

Originally Posted by alongroadahead08

I'm probably going to have one. I've never been to a wedding that DIDN'T have one. Very acceptable around here. There are people other than my dad and future intended that I would like to dance with, some that are like second dad's to me, so this is my oppritunity to spend some one on one time with them. I only think it's tacky if you go into a dollar dance thinking you are going to get tons of money...and that's not the way that I look at it. JMO

Agree.

If it's common in your area alongroad, then go for it. Otherwise, it's considered very, very tacky. In fact, most etiquette "experts" say that it's tacky even if it is common in your area. Where I'm from, they have them at every wedding but we chose not to do it. If there was someone I wanted to dance with, I just went up and tapped them on the shoulder. No one is going to refuse the bride!

[Marge129]

Originally Posted by birdie

Margie, was your wedding in Ohio? Because Rob, (who's from Vandalia) says everyone will be expecting one from his side of the family. I don't like them and don't want one but he really does. Is it common in Ohio?

No I got married in WV. They have done them at Jerry's cousin's weddings, though.

[NovemberGal]

What Heather said. I had never heard of them until I started doing research for my own wedding. No one does it here, or in the few other areas I've been to for weddings. I've never seen it done at any wedding I've been to. I think they are very tacky, but understand that if it is really common in your area and you want to do it, that's fine.

How common is it in your area, tn? And if you're not comfortable dancing, or with the dollar dance, I would say don't do it, even if it is common.

[Julz518]

Originally Posted by birdie

Margie, was your wedding in Ohio? Because Rob, (who's from Vandalia) says everyone will be expecting one from his side of the family. I don't like them and don't want one but he really does. Is it common in Ohio?

I would bet, that since it's common in WV and apparently common in IN, it's probably also common in OH - since OH is sandwiched between the two other states

[ladedah]

We weren't planning on having one...but apparently the DJ missed that because he called us to the dance floor and announced we were starting the Dollar Dance!! I thought maybe DH changed his mined and he thought I had so neither one of us said anything....turned out to be not such a bad deal though....we took an extra $800 on our honeymoon

[ljeagle]

I had never been to a wedding that had the dollar dance till I went to PA for fallbrides wedding. It was really cute but if you don't want to do it then don't.

[tnbride]

I have no idea if its common here. Our DJ (he does most of the wedding at this place) said that lots of people do it and suggested we do it. Apparently its common in Nebraska bc my parents did it at their wedding(but that was a long time ago). So i have noooo clue! I read on ultimate weddings that the money is supposed to be for extra cash for your future or honeymoon so i don't think its weird to do it to get money. It says that people know what its for...?

[alongroadahead08]

Even though most people know that a dollar dance usually consists of at least giving a dollar to dance with the bride/groom doesn't meant that they are obligated to, so beware not everyone will be willing to do this. As it should not be expected. If you do it just to get the money, it's the wrong reason to do it.

[tnbride]

I mean i don't think im doing it but on that site it said people don't participate if they don't want to give a dollar..

[alongroadahead08]

That wasn't pointed directly at you...just in general that's not the reason to do it. Sad a wedding website said that though...kinda weird.

[peckmiranda]

The way you're talking about it, it doesn't feel like you'd be doing it because it's a tradition or anything, so I say don't do it. Just my opinion, though.

[munchkin]

It depends on your area, as others have said. Here it would be seen as hugely tacky and horrible, but apparently it's normal. Personally I wouldn't do one even if it was normal, since I would feel like a stripper (being paid to dance, but not taking off my clothes obviously.)
How would it work here anyway? I don't really feel like carrying around a bunch of dollar coins, since our money is metal until you hit $5.

[Marksbride]

We are having a dollar dance. I think it's a fun time to dance with people you wouldn't normally get to like cousins, uncles, grandparents, brothers. I say go for it!

[Complicated Woman]

I think it totally depends -- if it's normal for your area/culture, go for it! We didn't have one and some of my family asked about it.

[BJC777SRL]

I'm pretty sure we're having one, practically each one of FH's family members has asked me if we're going to do one Don't know how common it is in Cali...but his family sure is anxious for it so I figure what the hell!