Wtf? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

whiddle · #1 12-15-2005, 10:27 PM

Has anyone ever been to a potluck wedding?

I just got an invitation to a potluck wedding. I was assigned to bring potato salad. There is not a response card or RSVP date.

I have never heard of potluck weddings before. Do we still bring a gift? or is the potato salad our gift? LOL that sounds cheap.

The bride is a co-worker of mine.

feb-bride · #2 12-15-2005, 10:29 PM

I've never been invited to one, but I've heard of them. However, I've only heard of family members being asked to bring items, not "co-worker" guests. Personally, potluck weddings are not my style.

Heather · #3 12-15-2005, 10:36 PM

My sister had one many, many years ago (early 80's), but she only asked family and very close family friends. In fact, in our small-town, it used to be a very common thing to do. Now, not so much.

I would think that you still bring a gift. Do you know if the couple is registered anywhere? If they're not, I may think twice about it. I'm not really sure...

cru5h · #4 12-15-2005, 10:41 PM

That is very down-home of them

I've never heard of that.

deputysgurl · #5 12-15-2005, 10:47 PM

I have never heard of that. If i was to get them a gift I wouldn't get them as much as I would have if it wasn't potluck

ljeagle · #6 12-15-2005, 10:52 PM

Personally I think pot luck should be left to family events and church event. I don't care to much for them. I like to know where my food was made.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #7 12-16-2005, 12:20 AM

Marge129 · #8 12-16-2005, 12:29 AM

I'm going with MTGH's response...

syringa · #9 12-16-2005, 01:02 AM

Such things do occassionally occur, but usually in very small communities and only family and very close friends bring food. The whole concept says "very low budget wedding" even if that is not what the couple intend to project. And what if you don't make potato salad? Are you supposed to purchase it for a crowd? I would still bring a gift but probably not as nice as I would have if I weren't helping feed the multitude.

whiddle · #10 12-16-2005, 01:14 AM

I think I am going to respond negatively. I don't want to eat at a potluck wedding, they are expecting 600 guests. Can we say food poisoning?

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #11 12-16-2005, 01:24 AM

600 guests?!?!?! Double

That's an even BIGGER WTF?! WHY are they inviting 600 people?!?!?! And expecting everyone to bring something?!?!? It's like we're going to invite the ENTIRE town and make them all bring stuff but we'll get 600 presents!!! Honestly, unless this was someone I was very close to, I wouldn't go. I don't think they'd even *notice* you weren't there. Like they really have 600 close people in their lives?!?!

wembley · #12 12-16-2005, 01:50 AM

I've been to a potluck wedding but it was a very small and low-key affair. They were engaged and she felt it was very important to her to not live together until they were married. He had a house where he and his two girls lived and she ended up not having a place to live in a short amount of time. She pushed the wedding up a huge amount and did it all herself. It was all family and good friends that came and were asked if they would be willing to donate. It turned out well but it gave the reception a very different feel.

I have never heard of something for that huge of a group and to expect you to bring an assigned item is asking a lot!

Marge129 · #13 12-16-2005, 01:50 AM

I'm sorry... did you say 600?!?!?!

There's gonna be a lot of

people at that wedding with it being Potluck!

Complicated Woman · #14 12-16-2005, 03:31 AM

Ahhhhhh! That's so crazy!!! I can't imagine. Was it a formally printed invitation? Did they ask for potato salad on the actual invite or was it on a reception card type of thing? Which would be more proper? I'm sure Emily Post didn't cover it. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I would have been stunned when I opened that envelope...

I have been to a potluck wedding, but it was a maybe 150 person church wedding (it was my old pastors son and he was marrying a pastors daughter, so it was kind of down home to begin with) and it was only potluck because the caterer cancelled last minute and we all just offered to bring a dish to make it work for them. We still brought presents.

I wouldn't go to this wacky potato salad thing.

ljeagle · #15 12-16-2005, 03:39 AM

600 people that is crazy can u how much food they will have...

Kim&Bob2004 · #16 12-16-2005, 04:58 AM

Oh my gosh! How would a person even begin making potato salad for 600? Would you have to have a semi to haul the bowl it was in? LOL Seriously I have heard of potlucks, normally it's people that have a low budget affair. I say it's alright, but only for a small wedding, not 600. Holy smokes, hire someone to do the cooking! if you can't afford that then cut down on the guests!

deputysgurl · #17 12-16-2005, 05:14 AM

600?!?!?!? WTF...if you can afford to have that many invites but can't afford to feed them cut down on the invites. I would personally be offended to go to a potluck that big, specially at a wedding.

maroki13 · #18 12-16-2005, 05:18 AM

I agree with the other ladies. I can't believe they are expecting 600 people to bring food. I would say good thing you are going to RSVP no...you don't have to worry about the food and they probably won't notice you aren't there anyway.

wedbyjean · #19 12-16-2005, 05:36 AM

I've always encouraged the idea of the bride being a gracious hostess -- as in thinking of her guests during the planning stages (considering things that will be fun and interesting for them, yet not to the extent that she's worrying about pleasing everyone) -- regardless of her budget and the style she wants for her wedding.

600 guests?? For a potluck??? They DO say that truth is stranger than fiction.

Personally, I'd decline the invitation.

Mrs.Levitt · #20 12-16-2005, 01:27 PM

Wow 600 is pretty outrageous especially for potluck. Also rude to not include a reply card and just assume your coming AND going to bring a dish. No! I would decline or go to the wedding and skip the ol' pot luck dinner. I mean really if they cant afford to buy everyones meal maybe they should scale back from a crazy 600 to 150 or 200. weird.

Cirig · #21 12-16-2005, 01:27 PM

Just make up an excuse to not go. Make it a good one too- b/c she works with you!

cru5h · #22 12-16-2005, 02:09 PM

OK now that I've read that there will be 600 guests, AND they're making it potluck...that gets filed away with my TACKY list, and I don't care who I offend in saying that. kthx.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #23 12-16-2005, 02:10 PM

"the honour of your potato salad is requested..."

Oh, my god, Complicated, that was HILARIOUS!!!

Whew, let me pull myself back together....

I agree, if it was a SMALL affair and family were ASKED--NOT TOLD--to bring something, that I would think is perfectly acceptable. But to invite 600 people and tell everyone to bring something. It's just

: Let's invite EVERYONE we've ever remotely said hello to, make them bring stuff so we don't have to shell out a dime and think of all the

we'll get!!!!! Uh, no thank you.

TheaterDiva1 · #24 12-16-2005, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cirig

Just make up an excuse to not go. Make it a good one too- b/c she works with you!

I would think "I didn't have time to make potato salad for 600 people" should suffice.

ladedah · #25 12-16-2005, 03:11 PM

Can I just say that I am mortified by the thought of this...first of all, I'm thinking it's slightly tacky to ask your guests to bring food..if you can't afford it...just don't have it...I think no food would be better than "can you bring some"....AND THEN they have the nerve to ask for a specific thing...EEK...it's like..."so where did you register?".."the local Hy-Vee"...and then I'm thinking 600 people...What is wrong with these people?