Question about shower - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

peckmiranda · #1 03-01-2007, 02:41 PM

Yesterday my mom called and said that her cousin and her cousin's daughter want to throw me a shower. Actually, the way she worded it was, "So and So want to throw your shower." I kinda grumbled, because 1) my MOH was already planning a shower, and 2) those two would throw me the typical boring shower, where everyone sits around oohing and aahing while I open my presents. Boooooring. My mom said, "Let's just have theirs be a shower for the family." But I know my family. Most of them would be bored out of their minds at that shower, and beg to come to the other one instead. So my MOH and I talked about inviting the older folks who may not exactly enjoy themselves at her shower to the boring one. The thing is, we were planning on turning it into more of a party than a shower. Champagne, cocktails, funny games, etc. We thought that maybe some of the older people would maybe be offended by alcohol at the reception. In my small town, the showers are held in the church basement, and everyone goes sits in chairs audience-style, watches the bride open the presents, and leaves. Not what I want for my shower at all, but that's the way things are done. SO since this is such a small town, people will know that two showers are being held. If someone is invited to the first and not the second, they'll get offended. I was thinking of sending out one of those wedding timelines with the invitations, and putting both showers on there, so people could choose which one to go to. What do I call the second one to make it clear that it's geared more toward the young crowd, without offending anyone?

Cirig · #2 03-01-2007, 02:47 PM

Are you talking about sending that along with your wedding invite? I don't know that I would do that. It just doesn't sound right.

Can you maybe just explain to your cousins that your MOH is already planing a shower, and if they would like to contribute you could pass along her phone # so they could discuss it.

This way you're out of the middle.

peckmiranda · #3 03-01-2007, 02:49 PM

Pretty sure my mom already said yes to them hosting it

peckmiranda · #4 03-01-2007, 02:51 PM

This is the timeline I was talking about. I would just add the showers in addition to all the actual wedding day stuff.

Cirig · #5 03-01-2007, 02:55 PM

It's a cute card, I do like that.

But if you send that card out, it's not going to stop everyone from being invited/ not being invited to both parties. They would still recieve an invitation to the parties from the person throwing them right??

I don't know- maybe you should go with the seperate parties for family & friends. I can't see a nice way to say "your an old fogie, you go to this party"

Sapphire · #6 03-01-2007, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peckmiranda

This is the timeline I was talking about. I would just add the showers in addition to all the actual wedding day stuff.

That timeline is really cute, btw.

peckmiranda · #7 03-01-2007, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cirig

But if you send that card out, it's not going to stop everyone from being invited/ not being invited to both parties. They would still recieve an invitation to the parties from the person throwing them right??

Well, I was going to maybe send out a combo invite? Like...here are two showers....if you wanna drink....go to this one?

MOH said we should say it's a pre-bachelorette party shower, or something like that, since the bachelorette party will be that night.

TheaterDiva1 · #8 03-01-2007, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peckmiranda

What do I call the second one to make it clear that it's geared more toward the young crowd, without offending anyone?

Maybe you can suggest to your MOH that the youngsters shower be combined with a bachelorette party?

ladedah · #9 03-01-2007, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cirig

maybe you should go with the seperate parties for family & friends. I can't see a nice way to say "your an old fogie, you go to this party"

I gotta say that I agree with Cirig....

Cirig · #10 03-01-2007, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peckmiranda

MOH said we should say it's a pre-bachelorette party shower, or something like that, since the bachelorette party will be that night.

Then why not just call it a bachelorette party? Don't put the word shower in it, and old/ boring people won't be upset that they aren't invited.

Julz518 · #11 03-01-2007, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peckmiranda

MOH said we should say it's a pre-bachelorette party shower, or something like that, since the bachelorette party will be that night.

I like that idea... I don't know exactly what to call it, but since it's the same day as the bach party, and seems to be for the same crowd, I think it should be made clear that their associated. Is it close enough time-wise to the bach party to just combine the two? Or maybe call it the "bachelorette pre-party"? if not everyone there will be invited to the bach party later...

Heather · #12 03-01-2007, 03:16 PM

In this case, I would just have a shower and a bachelorette party - not two showers. Your younger friends can suck it up and attend the shower.

Have your MOH host the bach party and the aunts host the shower. Most showers I've been to suck anyway, lol. I know that sounds awful, but I dread going to them, and I even dreaded my own.

Cirig · #13 03-01-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

Most showers I've been to suck anyway, lol. I know that sounds awful, but I dread going to them, and I even dreaded my own.

AMEN.

peckmiranda · #14 03-01-2007, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

In this case, I would just have a shower and a bachelorette party - not two showers. Your younger friends can suck it up and attend the shower.

Have your MOH host the bach party and the aunts host the shower. Most showers I've been to suck anyway, lol. I know that sounds awful, but I dread going to them, and I even dreaded my own.

UGH. You guys are probably all right, and I should just have the same old boring ass shower. I wonder if I can fit a flask in my pocket and discreetly take sips every now and then...

Heather · #15 03-01-2007, 03:23 PM

You absolutely can. Maybe you can get them for your "girls" too.

I honestly think it will just save you and the hosts a big headache if you just separate the two. I had two showers thrown for me and it stressed me out - big time.

Cirig · #16 03-01-2007, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peckmiranda

I wonder if I can fit a flask in my pocket and discreetly take sips every now and then...

HA! Why not ask your mom or MOH to bring a few bottles of wine? That way it doesn't look like you're the one bringing the liquor. I was the only person drinking at my shower

peckmiranda · #17 03-01-2007, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cirig

I was the only person drinking at my shower

That's funny!!!

I'm sure I won't be the only one! Which is why I need to hide mine...If I'm the only person with alcohol, everyone will be stealing it!!!