Traditional Anglican Ceremony - "smells & bells"

[transferred post]

This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by jccl on 8/11/04.

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posted by jccl

Is anyone active on this forum? Well, in the case that they are, I thought I would share ideas from my Episcopalian wedding ceremony and also a spiritual story.

For our winter wedding, my husband and I adapted the liturgy for the Solemnization of Matrimony from the 1549 Anglican Book of Common Prayer. (This book was the original version of the prayer book of the Anglican Church.) The language was very intense and communicated the mystical nature of the event. We followed the marriage ritual with a solemn high mass that incorporated incense, bells, and Holy Water. The church was decorated very simply without flowers but with hundreds of candles, which showed up beautifully as it was a nighttime wedding. (BTW, This was an excellent way to stretch a tight budget.) The music was also simple---no organ, just a harpist and a vocalist that sang during communion, which all baptized Christians were invited to receive. This brings me to an important point.

Before the wedding I had been very concerned about how people would react to our ceremony. We do not keep what I would call “Christian” company in our professional lives. I am a graduate student who works in feminist theory. My husband and I are also very active in local liberal political causes. Moreover, my immediate family is not Christian, though my extended family are very strong Christians, as is my husband’s family. Only one of our attendants (out of three bride’s attendants and four groomsmen) professes a Christian faith. As you can imagine, we had a diverse crowd. I was concerned that some people might be offended by highly traditional God-centered language and also the stuff about Godly gender roles and submission (fyi: we adjusted the vow of wifely submission only to mutual submission). I was also concerned because I had received a lot of judgment from people (mostly my immediate family) for my decision to strive for purity before marriage. I praise God that my fears around our wedding were not realized.

People loved it. Most everyone cried during the ceremony and later told us that it was the “most beautiful” and “personal” wedding they had ever attended. They said that afterward they understood and respected us and our faith much better than they had before. Best of all, it was a time of evangelizing. (This had been my single prayer for the day: that people would witness the love and awesomeness of God through our wedding.) He definitely answered. Afterward I learned that one my life long friends who has been estranged from the Church since middle school received communion for the first time in thirteen years at our wedding! This was one of the best gifts I could have ever received.

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posted by Zeke

I enjoyed reading your post. It sounds like you had a highly personal and meaningful wedding. It is difficult to remember the spiritual aspect of marriage sometimes when you get caught up in the planning and everything in the months beforehand.
In my own case, the wedding has been overshadowed by other emotional/ personal difficulties and it has absolutely been important to remember that marriage is a spiritual connection between two people. I do think that it is as much a solemn commitment and event as it is a joyful one. It sounds like you were successful in creating an event that reminded others that marriage is not something to take lightly.

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posted by bookbird

Hi, I loved reading your post just now! I am also anglican, and a historian. I'm also a student of feminist theory and history. My financee and I are now planning a wedding, though we won't go too high church since his tradition is more evangelical than mine. But we do want a traditional service, etc, and keep thinking of doing something traditional but off-beat at the same time...So, thanks for a great story! Nice to know that the harp worked, too...hmmmmmmm.... :-)

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posted by Kanona

It just goes to show that when something is truly ordained of God and you hold Him above everything, and keep your focus on the most important aspect of a "Wedding", which is the spiritual union of two becoming one in the eyes of God, He WILL move in miraculous ways..

Thank you for sharing your story, it is truly inspiring. To God be the glory

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posted by Just Engaged!

Kanona, if you don't mind me asking, what church do you attend? I'm curious b/c you sound very much like mine.

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posted by Kanona

Of course I don't mind you asking.....

I attend "Promised Land Baptist Church" It's located in Washington,DC. I LOVE my church and spiritual family. It has changed my life in a mighty way, AND not to mention, that's where I met my honey

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posted by Just Engaged!

Awesome! I feel the same way. I attend Lifeline, a church that is affiliated with Assemblies of God. I started attending that church not long after I met my FI. I love everyone there - they are basically my family, too! I am learning so much - the church I attended when I was younger was very different. It was quite "works" oriented, and the Holy Spirit was left out entirely! I like this new church a whole lot better... Like I said, I'm still learning so much (like how to keep my mouth shut sometimes ), but I'd rather learn all this stuff now, than when I'm 80!

Anyway, it's just nice to read your posts - we think alike!

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posted by Kanona

I absolutely love meeting people that share the same "walk of life". I know it's not for everybody but if they just give it a chance, you know what I mean?

I'm glad you're a part of a spiritual family, and learning God's doctrine and word, that's helping you grow. That's so important....and yes, we're always learning and it's not easy, but that's why God blesses us with His mercy and grace, and you know what....there are some 80 year olds that still haven't learned ....

anyway, it's good talking to you. Like the old saying goes, "GREAT minds think alike"