Wedding shower - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

tnbride · #1 02-08-2007, 02:26 PM

At a wedding showed both guys and girls come right? Okay i only have 2 bm and 1 moh and the bm's don't live here so they couldn't come to the shower. Evans dad doesn't have alot of money and he got our honeymoon for us so we don't want him to get us anything else. Evans mom doesn't live here. If we had one there would only be a few people and they are mostly college students so i know they don't have money. So should i just not have one?

AshyBekka · #2 02-08-2007, 02:54 PM

A friend of mine held a couples shower for us here that all of our law school friends went to. I guess it was more cocktail party than anything else. I didn't expect gifts from my friends but I was excited to have a party with them. We had cute invites, great food and lots of drinks. A few people brought gifts, and I was very touched by that, but I was more touched by just having some time with all of them and with Cliff. You might think of doing something like that.

Heather · #3 02-08-2007, 03:01 PM

You wouldn't host a shower for yourself. Typically, bridal showers are for the bride only and women attend. A lot of couples do have 'stag & doe' showers where the groom is there too, and men are invited as well. Why would it be a concern if the college students don't have money? Guests wouldn't be paying for anything unless they decided to give a gift.

ETA: I just saw that your sister is MOH and lives near you. She won't host a shower? She could plan something with the input of the BMs & they can all contribute. She can send the invites and if people can come, great - if not, that's okay too.

tnbride · #4 02-08-2007, 03:18 PM

My mom was planning a wedding shower for us(&my sister, she lives with my parents) but i don't want people to feel like they have to come and bring a present. But i know they prob. would. I don't know. Evan just mentioned he kinda didn't want one. There would only be a few people that would/could come. I just don't know! I am a shy person, don't like to be center of attention.

Heather · #5 02-08-2007, 03:21 PM

I'm not comfy with it either, lol, but a shower would be nice if someone can host one for you. Typically your Mom (or other family members) wouldn't host - it's considered a grab for gifts in most areas. However if your sis is the MOH, your Mom could still help out financially but your sis should be listed as hosting. Even if it's just a few people, it's a good chance to get together and just hang out for a while. Evan doesn't have to go - call it a bridal shower.

Kim&Bob2004 · #6 02-08-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

I'm not comfy with it either, lol, but a shower would be nice if someone can host one for you. Typically your Mom (or other family members) wouldn't host - it's considered a grab for gifts in most areas. However if your sis is the MOH, your Mom could still help out financially but your sis should be listed as hosting. Even if it's just a few people, it's a good chance to get together and just hang out for a while. Evan doesn't have to go - call it a bridal shower.

I agree 100%!

tnbride · #7 02-08-2007, 03:33 PM

if i call it a bridal shower then i don't know who they would invite! His sister just moved back here but im not close with her at all, so it would be awkward if she came and Evan wasn't there. Uhm some of my friends that im inviting to the wedding i haven't seen in a while, since everyone went to college. I just talk to them on facebook, should i invite them? or does that seem like i just want gifts? I am not kidding all of my friends left the state to go to college

justnmary · #8 02-08-2007, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnbride

if i call it a bridal shower then i don't know who they would invite! His sister just moved back here but im not close with her at all, so it would be awkward if she came and Evan wasn't there. Uhm some of my friends that im inviting to the wedding i haven't seen in a while, since everyone went to college. I just talk to them on facebook, should i invite them? or does that seem like i just want gifts? I am not kidding all of my friends left the state to go to college

When my MOH threw us our bridal shower, she invited all of Justin's aunts that I had never met. In fact about 8 people there out of 30 where people I knew, everyone else was from Justin's side of the family and I had to meet them all at that time (Justin's mom gave my MOH a guest list...she's kinda pushy). So don't feel bad, just use this as an opportunity to get to know some people a little better. Good luck.

ladedah · #9 02-08-2007, 05:45 PM

A Friend of my MIL threw me a shower and invited all of my IL's friends and my DH aunts and cousins....I knew not a single soul there....but that was the point...so they could all get to know me better....It was actually so much fun I had a blast...they told alot of stories about DH as a child and brought pictures of him....fun!!

tnbride · #10 02-08-2007, 06:18 PM

The only person is his sister and that is it from his family that would come. And then a few of my friends and then of course my mom, sis and grandma and prob. my moms neighbor lady she is friends with. That is it! That seems so lame!

ladedah · #11 02-08-2007, 06:28 PM

I only had 10 people at that shower...I think smaller showers are better anyway!!

tnbride · #12 02-08-2007, 06:54 PM

I don't know guys. It would be a 5 person shower and a ton of awkwardness..

justnmary · #13 02-08-2007, 06:56 PM

Don't have one.

tnbride · #14 02-08-2007, 07:18 PM

Its just that nobody lives here, only his dad and sister.And only my mom,sis,and prob. 3 friends would come. So i guess i won't have one.

justnmary · #15 02-08-2007, 07:51 PM

I will apologize, my last comment came off a little snippy. It's just that we get so many people that ask questions about showers and when we give them our answers/opinions it's argued with and it gets kind of old. I get sick of responding to something that falls on deaf ears so to speak. I personally think you should have the shower if someone is willing to throw one for you, with whatever people are able to make it....be it 3 or 30. Sometimes the most intimate affairs are the most enjoyable. You don't even have to call it a shower, call it a "pre-wedding brunch" or something. I don't suggest having your mom throw it, that's kind of taboo, but your sis if she's the MOH is acceptable. Good luck and again I'm sorry if I made you feel bad.

tnbride · #16 02-09-2007, 01:03 PM

Oh i know what you meet about the arguing. But ya i guess we could just have a little lunch thing with just family.