This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by clairon13 on 4/04/05. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by clairon13
if many of my guests will be traveling to my wedding (5.5 hr drive, 1 hr flight) site, are there proper guidelines to what to expect from them? i.e., am i expected to pay for travel/accomodations, should i allow time for weekend events/sightseeing, etc? is it appropriate for destination-area friends to house the attendants w/out spouses (i only have one married attendant, and she lives in the area of the wedding)? any input/answers/advice on this topic would be greatly appreciated!
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posted by feb-bride
You are under no obligation to pay for anyone's travel or accommodations. You don't have to allow time for weekend events/sightseeing, though that would be a nice gesture if you are able to "fit in" extra time.
I don't know if it's "appropriate" for destination-area friends to house attendants. I will say that I attended a destination wedding once with my husband (he wasn't my husband yet). I would not have been comfortable staying in one location while he had to stay somewhere else. I would have just opted to stay in a hotel with my husband.
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posted by suechick
I agree with feb.
There are a couple of things you can do though, to make it easier. Definitely Block the rooms at a local hotel so the guests can receive a discounted rate. Try to pick a hotel with continental breakfast, etc. so they are not paying for each meal.
If you cannot do this though, they will be responsible for it.
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posted by wedbyjean
LIke feb said, there is no obligation to pay for travel/accommodations, and you don't have to worry about any extra events, etc. A nice gesture, and pretty easy too, is to provide a list of local sites -- museums, shopping, historical -- that guests may go to if they choose to.
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posted by suechick
You can absolutely do "welcome baskets" too, which would include things from the area and ideas on where to go.
You can do Activity lists, food, drinks, etc. all places being your favorite in that area.
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posted by Lilianevii
I have a lot of family coming from Florida and the New England area. I called and reserved a block of rooms at a local hotel. They gave us a certain price for 3 nights, but if they decide to stay longer the price will not go up.
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posted by TheaterDiva1
You do not have to pay for travel/accommodations (but you can help by blocking off rooms at a hotel for a reduced rate). If any of those OOT people are IN the wedding, it would be a nice gesture if you can pay for their hotel stay, but you don't have to.
We put up a web site that included placed to visit on Long Island, any many of the OOT relatives who came in early were already familiar enough that they knew what to do.
-Maggie
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posted by clairon13
yes, my entire bridal party (oops, minus one) will be travelling to the wedding. ok, here's a question: i was already planning on paying for my two sister's rooms if they were to stay at a hotel (but i'd also considered them staying w/ me at my friend's house), but would it be tacky to pay only for their rooms and not the entire bp? both of my sisters are a little tight financially, and have made no complaints about buying bm dresses, so i wanted to help out w/ the bigger expense... but do i just keep that quiet to the other attendants? i certainly can't afford to pay for everyone's rooms (fh and i are paying for our wedding). thoughts?
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posted by roseprincess
clairon, I wouldn't think it's anybody's business (other than FH) what you choose to do with your money; paying for your sisters' rooms falls under the category of YOUR business. When you asked the people in the BP to stand up for you, they must've known there would be costs involved. Don't stress about it!
PS: Have you thought about spending the night before the wedding with your sisters? My MOH stayed with me and it helped so much, I was so relaxed when I went to sleep and she kept me so on track in the morning...
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posted by clairon13
rose--yes, in fact, my identical sis (matron of honor)and i were just talking about plans.. i was asking how she wanted to travel and what her thoughts were b/cs of ethan (her son, ~ 14 mo) and she was all about having a girl's night (not in the bachelorette party sense) w/ just us 3 girls since it's been so long since the 3 of us have lived in the same city. anyway, i think that would be the most special thing in the world,aside from getting to spend some sweet time in prayr w/rickey the morning of....
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posted by bebe0315
I don't think it is anyone else's business what/who you are paying for. I will also be paying for my youngest sisters hotel room, and we will most likely end up paying for at least a portion if not all of FH's sisters hotel room and BM ensemble. I think as long as nobody talks about it, it should be fine. And most people understand financial hardship, so if anyone were to find out and mention it, it would be extremely rude on their part! We are also going to put together little giftbags for folks who are staying at our hotel (we can get a count and room list from the site coordinator) and either ask the staff to put them in the rooms or give them to the guests as they check in. We would do it for all the overnight out of town guests, but if they aren't staying at our hotel we won't have any way of knowing. We are just planning on some home made cookies, bottled water, some other type of snack, maybe some nuts or something, and area info (golf courses, lake activities, restaurants, casinos etc.)
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posted by enelvan
Not at all is it anyone's business. I want my dearest friend there but I know she'll never be able to afford any of it. I'm paying for her dress, shoes, travel and hotel. She's just that important to me
§-Enelvan-§
general ettiquette for traveling guests
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