I HATE MY DAD - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

tnbride · #1 01-30-2007, 04:32 PM

Okay my dad doesn't like my mom's sister, Shelly. She isn't married and has 3 kids from all different people. All of her bfs have been African American (nothing wrong with that!!!!!!)But my dad just hates her for some reason! And everytime she comes he makes it so awkward and he doesn't talk to her. She wasn't planning on coming to my wedding but now she says she can and she would bring my grandparents(grandpa will not fly, he is so scared.And hes a BAD driver) so everyone would get to come, her kids(i haven't even met the newest one!) And i haven't met her bf either! But my dad says 'NO he will not be nice to them' he doesn't want them in his house!!!! This is really important to me!! And i even said "PLEASE WILL YOU DO IT FOR ME, ITS MY WEDDING"and he's just like "there is no more talking about it".My aunt knows he hates her and she says she doesn't want her bf to use his vacation days to go somewhere where he feels unwelcome!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO????! I want to punch my dad! my mom is soooo hurt right now!!!! My dad is such an a**, he even hates his own son! Please HELP!

peckmiranda · #2 01-30-2007, 04:35 PM

That's rough, hun!

Can your mom not say anything to him? Or maybe you guys can just do a majority vote and he loses? Are there any hotels around your house? You can tell him that if he absolutely doesn't want her in his house, he has to pay for a hotel room for her. I don't know, just a few quick suggestions off the top of my head!

whiddle · #3 01-30-2007, 04:35 PM

Can they rent a hotel room?

tnbride · #4 01-30-2007, 04:38 PM

they are going to get a hotel, but he says he doesn't even want them over for dinner? It is just ridiculous!!! He is just so bitter! She has done NOTHING to him! They can still come 'its a free country' he says but i don't understand how you can be flat out rude to someone!! No he'll just yell at my mom. Should i just say"Dad they are coming, if you are rude i will NEVER forgive you" .we are all just sooo sick of it!

peckmiranda · #5 01-30-2007, 04:41 PM

Well, I'd definitely put my foot down, and let him know that EVERYONE (not just you) is sick of his attitude. And then if he doesn't straighten up, you can always slip some muscle relaxers or something in his drink

That'll loosen him up!

BJC777SRL · #6 01-30-2007, 04:43 PM

Are you having the wedding or reception at his house?

I don't really know what to say, he's obviously got some reason to dislike her... I would just make sure to make a dinner date at a restaurant with her, the bf and the kids, so you get to spend some time with them in a peaceful setting away from your Dad before the wedding.

imstilldreaming · #7 01-30-2007, 04:45 PM

That's rough!!

I think the only thing you -can- do is try to keep him away from her. If that means having a 'family' dinner without him, you may have to. He's being completely selfish and unreasonable. You are right, it is your wedding and you should be able to have family there without having to worry about keeping the peace. I'm really sorry he's acting to immature!

tnbride · #8 01-30-2007, 04:46 PM

nope nothing is at their house, but if they are in town they are going to be spending time with my mom so everyone would be at their house. i mean that's what you do when your family comes in town. I haven't seen these people in like 4 years!! My dad is mean, he yells and it scares me. It makes me feel like i am living at home again. OH and i work for him so he is right there in the other office.....errrrrr

tnbride · #9 01-30-2007, 04:48 PM

see but my aunt shelly knows he has this problem, so she is asking my mom to tell her the truth. Is he going to make them uncomfortable or not? She doesn't want to come if he is?! my mom doesn't know when to say to her, bc i really want them here.

Julz518 · #10 01-30-2007, 05:11 PM

I am really sorry you are stuck in the middle of this.

I know a lot of women who have been in your aunt's situation. I really think the best thing she can do is to ignore him. Obviously, if she has three kids, he's been harboring these feelings towards her for year now, so it shouldn't be anything shocking and new. I would HOPE that your father is mature enough not to cause a scene at your wedding, by yelling at her or anything. If you are worried him causing a scene, speak with the groomsmen, or your uncles, or the security staff at your site ahead of time, and instruct them to escort him out promptly. Then you can all get back to partying. If he doesn't have fun b/c she's there, then that is HIS problem. And if he has to leave, he will have to deal with the repurcussions.

Don't let him ruin YOUR day. It's important to you to have your aunt and your grandparents there, so they should be there. And I'm sure there are may other relatives who would like to see them as well. I have to say that I think you are EXTREMELY lucky that your grandparents are still around to celebrate with you!!

feb-bride · #11 01-30-2007, 05:26 PM

I'm lucky that I never had any situations like this to deal with when I got married. However, if I had - I would have told my dad that if he could not at least be civil, he would not be welcome at the wedding.

RauliesGirl · #12 01-30-2007, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

I'm lucky that I never had any situations like this to deal with when I got married. However, if I had - I would have told my dad that if he could not at least be civil, he would not be welcome at the wedding.

agreed

i would also call your aunt and let her know that it would mean alot to you if she would come.

tnbride · #13 01-30-2007, 05:48 PM

my dad wouldn't yell at them or anything, He would just ignore them and not look at them and that is just so rude and uncomfortable. UHHHHH i said to him "Dad can't you go fishing or something all day when they are here?" and he had the nerve to say "like not come to your wedding" and i said NO LIKE NOT BE RUDE AND TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE HUMANE BEINGS and he didn't say anything back.

Leslee&Jake · #14 01-30-2007, 07:30 PM

That stinks. I really think you need to tell him exactly what you think!!!

tnbride · #15 01-30-2007, 07:45 PM

okay well i've been grumpy all day now BUT now my aunt isn't sure is she is getting as much money as she though from her taxes.But my mom talked to her other sister and she said that when my aunt brings her kids over they have to turn their TVs around bc they just throw things and they are OUT OF CONTROL. I know its tru too bc her other daughter who is 10 used to be such a BRAT and got her way so maybe i wouldn't want the kids at my wedding. But i do know for sure that the 10 yr old and my grandpa and granny will come either way(my grandpa is going to the doc to see if he can get some medicine to calm him for the flight).