Guests did not give gifts

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This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by jccl on 8/9/04. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.

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posted by jccl

OK. Please forgive me in advance if this posts offends anyone. I realize that expressing a lack of gratitude for guests is in poor form. However, this is an honest to goodness request for advice.

Sadly, my husband and I received very few gifts on the occassion of our recent wedding (about 5 months ago). More than one third of the guests at our 150-person black tie dinner reception did not give a gift or bring a card. Of those that did, almost half of the gifts were very small ($25 to $30). Almost three quarters of the guests that we invited but that did not attend did not send a gift, card, or even call to congratulate us.

This situation has, of course, been very hurtful. We put much energey and money into all the personal details of the wedding (paying for the attendants garb ourselves, making the cake ourselves, giving charitable donations on behalf of each gift as favors, etc.). We are young (mid-twenties) and live on a tight budget (though we saved well and did not go into debt for the wedding). We also live in our hometown and only invited friends, neighbors, and family. Worst of all, some of my groom's extended relatives---cousins, aunts, and uncles---did not even send cards of congratulations! This has been very hurtful as we are deeply religious and family-oriented people.

My sweet groom is so supportive and gracious with this reminding me that I am "all the gift he needs". However, I question the etiquette around my situation and cannot help but wonder if I gave cause to offend. Our guest were mostly well educated professionals (I am a doctoral student, he works in financial services) so I feel as though they were aware of what they were doing and that finances were not an issue.

How should I respond to this lack of "response"? Do I send thank you cards to people who gave us a card of congratulations? What about those who attended but did not give a gift or a card? I am so grateful that they decided to set aside time to share in our special day and would like to express my thanks. However, I do not want to call attention to this nor do I want to condone their apparent thoughtlessness.

Despite what the bridal industry might tell us otherwise, I get the feeling that I am not alone in my situation. That is, that more bridal couples than would like to admit it don't receive gifts. Am I alone?

Thank you in advance.

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posted by HeatherR

You're not alone jccl. I'm sorry that you didn't receive what you were hoping- most couples do hope, just not all will admit to it .

The best thing to do in this situation is to simply take the high-road. Definitely send thank you cards to ALL who attended. If they did not give a gift or a card, then thank them for attending. If they did give a gift or a card, then thank them for that, as well as attending.

Heather

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posted by Marge129

Wow, I'm very sorry to hear that this has happened to you.

But, I have to agree with Heather. Take the high road. Send a note to everyone. Be extra gracious to those who gave gifts. Make a form thank-you note for those who didn't give you gifts... no point in putting extra effort in writing a thank you card when you didn't get anything from them! LOL

Now... your guests are extremely rude. I can't imagine attending a wedding (let alone a black tie wedding) and not taking a gift. In my family it's customary to give a gift of whatever your meals would cost. We didn't get a penny less from my family members (even those with 5 to their family). I guess I'm just lucky.

Margie

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posted by Kanona

Wow.....that really sucks, and I can only imagine how you feel. I also come from very spiritual and family-oriented people and I would internally have a fit if they didn't bless us with a least a congratulatory phone call, a card, or something (especially if they're in a financial position to do so). Even though getting gifts is not what the day is truly about, but come on.... that's one of the biggest highlights

But....like the others have said, take the high road sweetie. Believe me, you and your hubby sending everyone a card (especially those that didn't give you anything) will show them that you are above pettiness and it may even cause them to realize their lack of consideration.
......I'm sorry you went through this and I wish you and your new hubby a life of peace and blessings

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posted by vandygirl

I'm just going to chime in here to say, jccl, that you have every right to feel a little neglected in this situation. It is well-known that you bring SOMETHING as a gift to a wedding and I can't imagine not doing so, especially when you are in the position to do so.

That said, it sounds like you did everything you could to make your guests feel welcome and well taken care of, and for that, you can take no blame or even question that you commited some "offence". You deserved to be showered on your special day and I'm so sorry your friends didn't come through.

I would have to agree with the previous posts that the high road is really the only one to take at this point. I know that seems so unfulfilling when what you really want to do is scream, "where are my gifts?"! Unless you're ready to leave those friends behind, I'd leave the issue behind instead.

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posted by vegas bride

I agree with above about sending a note for attending. I have heard of people ordering gifts and having them be lost or sent to the wrong address - even to the wrong registry! The sender thought they were sent but they were not received. If that is the case, thanking someone for attending and not mentioning a gift will cause that person to wonder if their gift was lost.

I was at a wedding and someone stole the cards. Many people gave cash and check gifts and it was not realized until the next day that the cards were missing. The bride thought that her mom had them, her mom thought the groom's mom had them - it was a mess. Needless to say, there were a lot of phone calls made after the wedding.

Your husband sounds like a great guy. I know it is frustrating and upsetting but please do not let this cast a cloud over the memories of you day.

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posted by serialkitten

You are not alone at all! We all do hope - it's natural to feel hurt when people do not even call to congratulate you.

I agree with all of the other ladies - send a thank you note for attending and/or whatever small card or gift your guests gave to you. We (read: I) had to send a lot of those. Here is an example of how I handled those situations:

____________________________
Dear Barney and Betty,

We are so happy that you were able to join us to celebrate our wedding! Thank you so much for your friendship and support over the years.

The love that we felt from all of our family and friends during our reception was a beautiful beginning to a new chapter in our lives together.

Love,
Wilma and Fred Flintstone

____________________________

Now, you say that you are young, so I am going to assume that at least some of your guest were also young. Before I planned my own wedding, I was completely clueless about wedding etiquette, and I must admit that I neglected to give gifts, call, etc. It was pure ignorance.

In our case, the ONLY people who did not bring gifts were married couples! All of our single (even our single GUY) friends brought something!

~~Mrs. Callahan~~

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posted by catina

Agree 100% with the rest of the posters. Serial Kitten's example of a thank you card was perfect! Well done Serial Kitten. If you want to shorten it, just go with the first paragraph! That alone is really well said!

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posted by atucker

If you wanted to send notes to everyone who attended, assuming you think it is appropriate, you would have sent them a long time ago. If I got a thank you note five months after something, I would think you were way out of time or fishing for a present. I really think five months is too late to do the thanks for coming thing if it is going to be done.
If it makes you feel any better, the general (or certainly traditional) rule of thumb is that guests have the entire first year in which to send gifts. Most people send them ahead of time, I know, but it is perfectly acceptable to sne dthem after the wedddng. Everyone I know got a wedding present or two right around their anniversary! I send them in advance, but it is fine to wait up to a year. And for anyone who has either called of a wedding or sent a gift ahead to a wedding that did go through knows, there is a pretty good reason for waiting until after the cerememony.
I agree that you should take the high road; in this case, it is to completlely forget about this issue lest you appear in the least but greedy. Do not send thanks for coming notes now. It would look like a ploy to get presents. I'm certain you properly thanked your guests enough at the reception.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Hi jccl, you aren't alone.

I just got married on the 21st, and though the wedding was small, there were several people we didn't even get a card from. Hubby's dad didn't even give us a card. No gift, nothing. Now, I can understand no gift, of course. But no card? I don't know. I'm the kind of person who buys a card for every occasion in the Hallmark store, and I know some people aren't like that, but I can't even imagine going to a wedding (of all things!) empty-handed. You know? Just an acknowledgement, a note of love and caring is what we were hoping for. Hubby's sister also didn't bring a gift or a card. I don't judge in any way, but it just struck me as odd. I'll never go to a wedding empty-handed.

I posted about this also, and everyone told me the same thing, just send a note thanking them for coming. Take the high road and though it hurts now, just move past it as best you can, and focus on your new life together. <3

:-)
cristin

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posted by Sarah76

Hi jccl,

I understand your hurt feelings and I have experienced something similar. I got married on 8th August and in our case, most people were thoughtful and generous (and in my opinion, it really is the thought, NOT the value of the gift that counts). However, what surprised and hurt me was that the few people who didn't give anything- not a card, a gift, nothing- are all close friends. A couple of them had actually mentioned gifts in the weeks leading up to the wedding- one said "I must go on your gift list website and buy a present", and another said, "I always like to buy something personal for close friends, not just get them a gift off the website". Well, nada... not even a card. Two other friends have been the same (all on my side, not my husband's). I totally understand people may not have a lot of money to buy gifts- but to not even buy a card? It smacks of thoughtlessness. (and the people who haven't bothered to buy gifts are NOT poor- all are professionals in good jobs. Some of our friends and relatives who have the least money, have bought us the most thoughtful, touching, personal gifts). I am trying not to let it bother me. My husband says it doesn't matter at all to him- he doesn't even want to know who didn't buy us gifts- on the bright side, I feel so lucky to have married such a good person! : ) (I'm afraid I am a little more petty). But then I don't think it's petty to expect at least a card. Oh well...

What is has made us appreciate, though, is the people who DID make the effort to send us cards or buy us gifts. Some of these people weren't even invited to the wedding! Yet they still thought of us. THOSE are the people we will remember in the years to come...and will make an effort with in the future!

Some gifts that didn't cost much but that we really appreciated for their personal touch: a beautiful embroidered greeting card handmade by a cousin's daughter; and home-baked brownies in a pretty box (yum!). It doesn't have to be china and crystal to mean a lot...

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posted by feb-bride

There are still people out there who mistakenly think you have a year to give a wedding gift. This is NOT true, but for some reason, the myth lingers. We had three guests not give us gifts until months after we got married.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Wow, I've never even heard of that! But I also did learn the thing about the money gift, how you're supposed to give what your plate costs you or something. That's the rule my grandfather went by, but I had never heard of it. I'm learning all kinds of things from being a bride!!

:-)
cristin

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posted by catina

How on earth is a guest suppose to know how much the dinner is worth?? I give what I feel is an appropriate amount, taking into consideration the realtionship and how much I would have intended to pay for a gift. As far as having up to one year, that's nuts. Plain and simple. That's for lazy people. The spirit of the gift is at the time of the event, in my opinion. Not a year later. It seems meaningless then. But that's me.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Well I agree with you! How am I supposed to know -- or even guess -- how much my plate would cost? But I suppose that's how they did it in my grandfather's day. I'll do what people didn't do for me -- I'll buy off the couple's registry. That way, I know that they want what's on it, so I know my gift will be accepted happily and there will be no question about it. I had a friend of mine say, "you know, I didn't want to buy you something stupid off your registry, so I got you this". Well okay, I appreciated her gift of course, but why is what's on my registry stupid? It's stuff I want! I'd rather buy a couple something off their registry since I know it's something they'd use and something they want, instead of getting them something that could just clutter up their house or have no use for.

Wooo sorry went off on a tangent there, didn't I?

:-)
cristin

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posted by serialkitten

I am (or at least I've been told that I am) really good about getting my thank you cards out - I usually start on them the minute my guests leave...

Having said that, I wrote a few thank you cards to people who did not give gifts (thanked them for coming, etc.) and then a few days pr weeks later I received a gift from them...in a few cases it was obvious that they had sent the gift before hand and it had just taken a while to arrive...

Well, anyway, I had to write ANOTHER thank you card to them - so I ended up sending two cards to some guests...so yes, the nyth still exists, and if you want to save yourself a bit of extra effort give it a few weeks or even a month before writing those "thanks for attending" cards...anyone inconsiderate enough not to even send a card won't have the social etiquette knowledge to be offended by a late thank you card anyhow!

~~Mrs. Callahan~~

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Good point Mrs. Callahan! I started my thank you's this weekend (2 weeks after the wedding) and I'll say that's pretty quick for me. So far I've only done the gift ones, and I'll get to the non-gift ones later. I won't stress about it.

*Mrs. Scott*
I'm doing that too every now and then because I'm still getting used to being a "Mrs". hehe

:-)
cristin

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posted by vegas bride

We got married on Aug 21 in Vegas. there were people that attended and did not give a gift - all on my side of the family. I just sent a thank you for coming. Since the wedding included a plane ride and hotel, I figured that was gift enough. Knowing the relatives - it will show up for our 1 year anniversary. :-)

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posted by SkyeCPHT

I got married on 8/21 also! Happy 3-week anniversary!

:-)
cristin

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posted by vegas bride

Same to you! I hope all went well!!

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posted by catina

My daughter just had her shower, which was a great success, but you know what? Neither her nor I have a clue if everyone gave a gift or not, and we're not about to start listing out who was there and who gave a gift or not! It just meant so much to us both that so many people wanted to attend the shower. We had a blast and she got way more stuff than she ever expected! That's because she wasn't expecting everyone to bring a gift. She just wanted to have a good time with everyone! I'm sorry, whether you received a gift or not isn't the point. It's who was with you to help celebrate, on any special occasion!

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Yes that's a good point. However, my husband couldn't help but notice that his father didn't even give him a card. And the woman who was his mother's best friend, who is like a second mother to him, also didn't get him a card. It was just something we noticed because these are people that care about him so much, yet there's no card? He's not holding it against them and neither am I, but it's just a weird thing to notice. I think it would be really weird if my parents didn't give me a card. That's all. Just weird. I don't think anything more of it, except that it's weird. We didn't have our wedding expecting thousands of dollars in gifts or anything, but I don't think it's too much to expect a card on your wedding. You get cards on your birthday, at Christmas, and whatever other holidays, after all. Why not expect the same for a wedding, which for some people could be the single most important event in their entire lives?

:-)
cristin

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posted by catina

You're right that it's weird the parents didn't give a card. And it would be odd if someone that normally gives you a christmas card or birthday card, didn't give you a wedding card. I'm directing my view point to the original poster who actually took the time to figure out HOW MANY people didn't bring a gift and HOW MANY people brought gifts that were worth a certain monetary value! That's what I find odd!

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Ah! Sorry! hehe Didn't mean to stand in your way there.

BTW, glad to hear your daughter's shower was a success! When is the wedding anyway? You've been on this board way longer than me and I'm already married! It must be coming up soon!

:-)
cristin

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posted by catina

No problem, I should have started off directing it to her.
The wedding is on the 25th!! We had about 1-1/2 years to plan, if I remember right! I'm sooo excited. Alot of out of towners that we don't get to see much of, so we're really looking forward to that! Working on the seating assignments now. Only 10 people haven't replied. (two cousins of my hubby and their wives and kids) Deadline was Sept 1. We now have a call into them. If we don't hear from them, we'll just count them as a no-show and if they show, they can feel like the asses by not having a place to sit! I've already alerted the hall, and they're setting up one table with 10 places for them or anyone else that said no and actaully does show up, but they won't be on the table assignment list, so it'll be obvious they screwed up! Nasty, but I'm not about to waste my time hunting them down!

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posted by SkyeCPHT

What a great way to handle the "no-answers"! I had never even thought of that! You must be getting so excited. That's next Saturday! I was doing a countdown like 15 days before my wedding. It was fun -- then all of a sudden, it's the big day! I hope everything is perfect and beautiful and you have no problems!!

:-)
cristin

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posted by catina

Thanks Cristin!
11 more sleeps!!

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posted by yankyrose

1st let me say that I am only replying to this thread because I found it so offensive. To think that you expect a gift from everyone who attended your wedding...wasn't it enough that they took time out of their lives to share the most important day in your life?

You invited all of them, they do not know what "the plate costs", and it is NOT a given that as a guest you have to give a gift.

I am sorry if this comes across rude, but did you get married to get gifts or spend the rest of your life with the man you love and share the day with friends and family? Focus on what is important in your life, not what you didn't get.

Mary Dugie

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posted by teddy6

Relax, Yanky.. This is simply a place where brides can feel free to express their feelings with other brides who understand. I don't think she was bothered that she didn't receive a gift from some, but that they couldn't even write out a note of congratulations in a card.

Again, put this into perspective of this forum. Sometimes its ok to say things to each other (as recent brides or bride-to-bes) that we wouldn't necessarily express to everyone else...

***September 18, 2004***

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Yeah Yanky, did you read the rest of the posts? I think you can detect some feelings of guilt in just about everyone's posts. Nobody wants to feel upset that they didn't get gifts or cards, yet they do anyway. I don't think anyone here has come off as an ungrateful bride. I think they just don't know how to tactfully handle the situation. After all, how do you send a thank-you card to someone who hasn't given you anything? That's all that was being asked. Nobody wants to send mean notes saying "Thanks for nothing".

:-)
cristin

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posted by marchbride05

I agree with both Teddy and Skye. It's much better to come across as ungrateful or selfish on these boards than to lash out at a friend or family member. I have been known to do that in the past. I am not materialistic but I would be upset if someone didn't even give us a wedding card. Yes, the point of a wedding is to spend the rest of your life with someone. But after months of planning and stress, people showing up without gifts or a card can be pretty hurtful. It's not so much about the gift as the thought behind it.

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posted by yankyrose

It is only hurtful when you expected them to bring you something in the first place.

I was happy that everyone came and enjoyed themselves at my wedding and reception. We spent some money to have it nice, and I didn't expect anything other than for everyone to come see me married. If they brought a gift, that was an added extra.

I do not see where it should hurt your feelings because someone didn't buy you something.....how much is their time worth to them? A card at least would have been nice from everyone, but then again, to expect everyone to bring or send something would be unrealistic, especially with the number of guests that were there. How well can you personally know that many people?

I am rambling on, but the point is....you should not feel bad that people didn't buy you a gift.

Mary Dugie

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Okay, you're right. I guess you're one of those wonderful, high and mighty types that is better than all the rest of us. Please forgive us, for having hurt feelings that one person or another did not bring a gift or a card. We are all in the wrong, and we should all strive to be more like you.

(note sarcasm please)

Unfortunately, not everyone is as perfectly mannered as you are. This place must be for all the rest of us who are low enough to have hurt feelings that friends or family members didn't get us cards or gifts.

:-)
cristin

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posted by marchbride05

Mary,
You have no right to tell someone how they should feel. If you weren't hurt that someone did not bring you a gift or a card even, good for you. If someone else is, that is their right. You should not be "offended" that someone else feels hurt. You may not think they should be but that is your opinion. The point is we are all different people and we feel things differently. I'll feel how I want to whether you think I should or not. Thank you.

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posted by Just Engaged!

Mary, you said, "How well can you personally know that many people?"

Well, if they are at your wedding, you or your fiance/husband most likely know them. After all, they're at your WEDDING. Our guest list will probably be 150-200, and yes, my husband or I personally know every single one of them.

Anyway, I disagree with what you are saying, and the tone of it. I don't think that most of the people on here are "expecting" or demanding gifts from every guest. Skye, for instance, was kind of hurt that her husband's father didn't even get them a card. We're not talking about some random guest, it's his FATHER. And she didn't say that she was upset that his father hadn't gotten them china or something. It was the lack of a wedding card, which is a universal acknowledgement of a life-changing event. You bet she has a right to feel hurt! I would be, too. I just think you are entirely missing the point here.

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posted by munchkin

I agree with marchbride and Just engaged. My FH and I have 200 people on our tentative guest list. Even if one of us doesn't know someone, the other one does. Therefore, yes, we know personally every single person on that list, otherwise they would not be invited. It's not as though we're inviting someone in off the street because we want gifts.
A wedding is an important event as Just Engaged said. You celebrate birthdays and other holidays with cards, and a wedding is just as, if not more, significant as a birthday.

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posted by Marge129

I also invited 200+ people to my wedding. Brad and I know each and every person that were invited and every person that attended.

Just to clarify my post earlier about giving a gift of what your meals would cost. Of course I know that there is no way for someone to know how much their meal will cost. But, come on... you can guess, especially if it's a sit down dinner and you know what the meal is that is being served. You know it's not going to be the cost of a McD's happy meal... so obviously I think it's inappropriate for a family of 5 to give say $20 (hypothetically). That's of course just my opinion. Call me greedy, call me weird, I don't care. It's just what I learned growing up... it's the way my family works.

Margie

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posted by serialkitten

It is only hurtful when you expected them to bring you something in the first place.

I do not see where it should hurt your feelings because someone didn't buy you something.....how much is their time worth to them?

Puhleeeeez. How repressed are you? How can you tell someone else that it's wrong to feel hurt - I find THAT offensive - you'll be one of those parents that says things like "I'll give you something to cry about!"

A card at least would have been nice from everyone, but then again, to expect everyone to bring or send something would be unrealistic, especially with the number of guests that were there. How well can you personally know that many people?

I can't imagine why you wouldn't have more personal relationships with your lovely empathetic attitude...

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posted by serialkitten

and another thing....

how much is their time worth to them?

WHAT!? What a rude thing to say. When I am invited to a wedding I feel honored that I was asked to share an intimate and special day in the couple's life. I don't feel like I am taking precious time away from my all-important life to grudgingly attend. You make it sound as if the bride and groom should bow down and thank god that their friends and family would be so put out as to attend their wedding.

I think that as a guest I should thank the bride and groom for including me, not vice versa. I'm sorry (well, not really) to get even more personal with you, but Yanky, you sound like the worst guest/friend anyone could ever ask for. Not only do you make it sound like it's a big hassle for you to attend someone's wedding, but then you don't even think that you need to congratulate/thank them them with a card or gift after all of the preparations that they have put into planning an event that includes feeding and entertaining you? What ever made you feels so entitled?

Next time you're invited to a wedding, don't "waste your time" going and you won't have to worry about wasting your money grudgingly buying gifts or waste your breath giving insincere congratulations.


~~Mrs. Callahan~~

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posted by SkyeCPHT

BAM!

Yeah I wish I could have said all that like you did.

You're quite eloquent Mrs. Callahan.

:-)
cristin

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posted by TheaterDiva1

Damn Serial! Could you come up here and yell at a few people for me?

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posted by serialkitten

HAHA!

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

Sorry ladies, I'm sure you've noticed that I am not one to repress or bottle up any of my sometimes unpopular thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or opinions...I just hope it's as entertaining for you as it is for me.

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posted by HeatherR

Oh please ladies... no fawning!

I think we all fell in love with Serial along time ago when she ripped that BUG woman a new one, lol.

Heather

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posted by SkyeCPHT

What's this about a bug lady?

:-)
cristin

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posted by HeatherR

It's too late to read it now, the woman deleted all of her posts, but I'll see if I can find the old thread...

Heather

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posted by HeatherR

Here is the link to which I was referring. Everyone got into it with this post...

http://www.blissweddings.com/wedding...tle=Wediquette

If you can't get to it now, just do a member search for bug3167 (or some number like that, the first three letters are bug.) It's the topic with 83 replies and it's locked. It's an interesting read, and glancing through, kind of funny at this point, lol.

Heather

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posted by SkyeCPHT

That's some funny stuff! What were those links that Kitten posted? They didn't work for me. I'm guessing marital problem sites?

Kitten -- You are so cute. I've learned I have to be more like you. Why not? I need some guts! Please give me lessons? lol I don't think that I could be half the bch you are if I tried my hardest! (and that's a compliment honey)

So wow. I don't know how on earth I missed that post! I would have put in my 2 cents as well! I think that was the week I was home in Philly for my shower, so no computer access...

And why do they lock posts?

BTW -- I googled my name and all I got was Bliss postings and half.com and eBay listings. Gosh I'm boring! But, if you need a textbook, GOOGLE ME and buy out my inventory!!

:-)
cristin

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posted by TheaterDiva1

What's this about a bug lady?

"Bug"- what's-her-face (I forget her login name) posted a while ago about a wedding (husband's sister, I think) where there was a childres's table set up. That wasn't good enough for Bug - she wanted her kids at her table with her. Her MIL suggeted she just wait until the wedding then plunk her kids at her table. We all told her (nicely) that it was wrong because the bride and groom out a lot of work into the seating chart, and putting the kids with her meant three other guests would be displaced. Well, Bug really just wanted us to tell her it's okay - she can do whatever she wanted, and got a nasty attitude when we didn't. The more she posted, the more it appeared she didn't like the couple and how they were doing their wedding.

-Maggie

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posted by TheaterDiva1

Sorry ladies, I'm sure you've noticed that I am not one to repress or bottle up any of my sometimes unpopular thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or opinions...I just hope it's as entertaining for you as it is for me.

Not a problem... wish I could be like that!

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posted by serialkitten

I just realized that I was being a little hypocritical for saying that Yanky should not tell someone how they can feel, if that's her feeling/opinion about the subject, that's her right. BUT I think that people have to understand that unpopular (and sometimes even popular) opinions stated aloud open the door to criticism.

I am certainly aware, and open to, any retorts to my posts. Whether they will affect me or offend me...it's not possible to know until it's posted. I try to be the first to admit when I am wrong, and in this case I may have been a bit off...(not that I'm necessarily repentant for my tirade, I'm just stating my hypocrisy as a fact.)

Anyway, what I'm saying is - feel free to disagree - I love a good debate!

And - enough about me and my short fuse.....I really only drop in here to act like a bouncer and give the snobby ones "what for" - haha!

~~Mrs. Callahan~~

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Well it's fine if she stated her opinion and her feelings, but then she told us we should not be feeling the way we were/are/do. So really, you weren't being hypocritical. You were just saying she can't tell anyone else how to feel, and that's exactly what she did. You didn't say to her, you have no right to feel that way. But she said that to us.

:-)
cristin