This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by kbuff624 on 7/15/03. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by kbuff624
it okay to skip the ceremony and just attend the reception? I feel this is tacky to say the least, after all there would be no reception without the ceremony! am attending my husband's co-workers's wedding. the co-worker warned my husband the ceremony will be very long, almost 2 hours as it's a nuptial Catholic mass. The other guests from my husband's office are skipping the ceremony so my husband wants to as well. Is this okay to do?
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posted by feb-bride
To me, that is very rude. Either attend everything or skip everything. That's like saying, "We don't really want to see your wedding; we just want to attend the party afterward," as if you're only going for the food, drinks, and dancing.
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posted by Amanda
morally you should go. i know Catholic ceremonies are very long ( i have been to a few, longest, 2 1/2 hours) but it's their faith and beliefs and it might be insulting to the family. i know if i was hosting a wedding and i saw someone stroll up who i didn't see at the ceremony i would be a little put off. you have to think what if that happend at your wedding.
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posted by kbuff624
the funny thing is it did happen at my wedding, and it was a few people from my office, mostly the younger people my age, who skipped the ceremony. I wasn't as close to them as some of my other friends and family, so I'm thinking that's why. But I did find it strange. I've been taking a poll at my office and a lot of people have done it and know people who have. that's why I came on this site, because I wanted to be sure I wasn't being overly prudish about it for lack of a better word. thanks for your feedback. We will definitely attend the ceremony whether my husband wants to or not!
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posted by feb-bride
My thought on this is that if you do not feel close enough to the bride or groom to want to witness their ceremony, then you should not attend their reception. If the bride or groom only wanted you to come to the reception, they wouldn't bother inviting you to the wedding.
I'm glad you see the logic in this.
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posted by TheaterDiva1
No, kbuff624, you were not being "prudish" at all. After all, the ceremony IS the important part. If someone skipped my ceremony and just showed up for the reception, it would be like saying the party with the free drinks is more important than witnessing a loved one taking a milestone step in her life!
Of course, I'd want to know why - if someone got lost or had car trouble, for example, that can't be helped. My ranting earlier was for people voluntarily blowing off a ceremony.
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posted by catina
Definitely tacky not to show up at the ceremony but to show up at the reception! Just as it's tacky not to invite someone to the ceremony but to the reception! Either both or none for both the inviter and the invitee!
Unless, of course, under extreme circumstances that can't be helped!
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posted by HeatherR
Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I've done it. I have skipped a Catholic mass ceremony and only went to the reception, but we all know I'm evil.
On my wedding day, I couldn't tell you who was at the ceremony. When I walked in, the only person I saw was my hubby.
Heather
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posted by catina
Evil, but honest
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posted by HeatherR
lol Catina, that's me to a fault.
(Sometimes, not all the time... hee hee)
Heather
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posted by Sarah76
Agree with all of the above...and to me this only demonstrates further why it's not always a bad thing to leave co-workers and their spouses off the wedding list. (since I know this has been discussed recently in another post!) I know some people become very close friends with a few special co-workers; that's a different matter. But often it seems like co-workers don't have enough of an emotional attachment to the couple to really care about watching them exchanging their vows...they're just in it for the party!
My FH and I are very glad now that finances forced us to cut our guest list to 100 (everyone is attending both ceremony and reception). It means that the only people there will be those to whom it truly means something to attend our wedding. If we'd been able to invite more people, I think we'd have tacked on many unnecessary "hangers on". Just goes to show, sometimes having no money isn't always a bad thing!
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posted by syringa
The only valid reasons for skipping the ceremony would be something unavoidable, like having to work until the ceremony is in progress or over or car problems, etc. Otherwise, if you are invited and you want to attend the reception, then attend the ceremony as well.
skipping the ceremony
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