This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by wndgrl8 on 4/13/04. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by wndgrl8
If a single female receives an invitation that says "and guest". Is it ok for her to bring another female friend?
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posted by teddy6
I would say absolutely! If they had in mind who you should bring they would name them specifically.
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posted by HeatherR
I would say definitely as well.
Heather
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posted by catina
I'm on the fence on this one. If you're in a relationship with her, then by all means yes. If she's someone you hang out with, and she doesn't even know who the bride or groom are, then I would say no. The "and guest" is meant for someone who may be dating someone, but the bride or groom doesn't know their name. It's not meant for a night out with a friend. That is my personal take on it.
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posted by catina
I'm on the fence on this one. If you're in a relationship with her, then by all means yes. If she's someone you hang out with, and she doesn't even know who the bride or groom are, then I would say no. The "and guest" is meant for someone who may be dating someone, but the bride or groom doesn't know their name. It's not meant for a night out with a friend. That's my personal take on the "and guest".
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posted by feb-bride
I think that if the bride and groom use the generic "and guest," you can bring whomever you want - male or female, relationship or not.
If the bride and groom meant for you to bring someone specific (e.g., a significant other), they should have gone to the effort to find out the NAME of the person you're dating.
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posted by Marge129
I say take your friend... "and guest" means and any guest you want. If they mean significant other, they should put "and significant other"
LOL
Margie
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posted by Holly
I'd say it would be fine to bring any guest you want -- if you're really unsure, you could check with the bride. Just be sure to include her name when you RSVP!
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posted by wedgirl
I'm with Catina, sort of on the fence. Think of it from the perspective of the people who are hosting (paying for) the wedding. If the friend doesn't even know the bride and groom, then I would hesitate about bringing her. I, and my friends who recently got married, paid anywhere from $50-$100 per person for the reception. That's a lot of money for the bride/groom/parents to spend on someone they don't know, and who is not your significant other. Also, "And Guest" is the proper wording; you don't necessarily have to put the name of the sig other on the invite, especially if they aren't living together.
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posted by feb-bride
Actually, wedgirl, "and guest" is NOT the proper wording. If you want to go by strict etiquette, you are supposed to find out the name of the "guest" if you're inviting a person's spouse/fiance/significant other. If the SO does not live with the guest, the SO is supposed to receive his/her own invitation.
If you put "and guest," you (as the bride or groom) are demonstrating that you do not care who the guests brings with them.
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posted by catina
If you know that the guest is involved in a relationship, then yes, you should find out their name. However, if you don't know if they are involved with anyone in particular, and you don't mind if they bring who ever they are dating at the time, which in some cases could be someone that they aren't even dating at the time of invites, then I would put "and guest". For my daughter's friends, she has several male friends that aren't seeing anyone at the moment, and if at the time of the mailing, they still aren't, we would still like them to bring a "date" if they choose too. We certainly don't expect them to bring a "male" friend for a fun time out, a chance to get loaded for free! Not that they would mind you!
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posted by wndgrl8
Well, the wedding is for a 2nd marriage, for my 2nd cousin. I have only seen him a handful of times, and have not even met his wife to be. I am not dating anyone at this time, and don't care to go by myself. I was thinking of asking a girlfriend that I have known for over 15 years to go with me, but just was not sure if that is proper or not.
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posted by teddy6
wndgrl,
We had a few single friends that we invited who I knew would not know anyone else at the wedding. We invited them with "guest" so that they would have someone to travel with and hang out with at the wedding. I won't know their guest whether it be a man or a woman, so I can't imagine why it would make any difference who your guest is. But that's just my take on it.
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posted by MernwenAncalime
My opinion is that if you allow your friend to choose a guest of their own, you will have to trust their discretion.
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posted by anon
I can't imagine dictating who your guest brings as their guest. One of my friends drove from Kentucky to Michigan for my wedding. Her husband couldn't come, so she brought a friend. I would not have dreamed of telling her that she could only come alone or with her husband. (I know that this isn't the original scenario of the post, but the point is the same -- she didn't really know anyone at the wedding and I wouldn't have wanted her to come alone.)
And Guest
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