required to give gift?
This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by subbysgirl on 10/01/03. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by subbysgirl
My s/o and I were invited to a wedding betweem two of his co-workers. He talks to both of them but they are not very close. We were invited to just the reception. Is it rude not to give a gift and just give them a card?
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posted by feb-bride
No, that is not rude at all. Only the ceremony invitation carries a gift-in-return obligation. People who are only invited to the reception are not obligated to bring a gift. Pick out a lovely card and have a great time.
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posted by catina
I personally, would bring a gift. They are asking you to share in their day and I believe giving a gift is a symbol of congratulating them and wanting to give them help to start in their new life together. And a token of appreciation of being asked to share in their celebration. Feb-bride may be correct in response to etiquette but I personally would say a gift is in order. Sorry, to disagree feb-bride!
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posted by Holly
subbysgirl, I think it all depends on what both of you feel comfortable with. It is perfectly acceptable to just bring them a card. If you want to give a small gift besides (gift basket, frame), then go ahead.
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posted by feb-bride
You certainly don't have to apologize. I would probably take a gift, too. I was just responding as to what is correct etiquette-wise. It sounded to me like subbysgirl and her s/o did not want to take a gift if it was acceptable to just give a card, so I was just letting her know that it was okay to just give a card.
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posted by catina
Feb-bride, thanks. I just want to make sure no body thinks I'm being agrumentative, so I tend to apologize to those that I dis-agree with. Maybe I over do it sometimes!! Good point about what THEY are comfortable doing. I guess I didn't really didn't answer the question that was asked, did I?! And the answer is.....no it's not rude at all to give them a card and no gift.
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posted by UptownGirl
If you are so worried about "looking bad," then send a gift. Pick something from the registry that you feel you can happily spend without feeling any strain financially the following month (whether this is $5, $10, $50, or $1000), and enjoy yourself at the reception. You are now going above and beyond the call of duty. The couple may or may not appreciate it, but at least you will feel that you have given something more than just a card.
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