This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by Tea on 12/20/01. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
**************************************************
posted by Tea
Well, today's step in my cousin's wedding involved setting up registries. She's registered at 3 different stores, and I have some questions about the items she's registered for. She and her fiance have lived together for several months (in their own house), and will have lived together for more than a year by the time of the wedding, so they have all those basic items (dishes, cooking, etc). She's registered for some linens, a few kitchen items, but what concerns me is the other items she's registered for -- crystal figurines, collectible-type things. Many of the guests will not know that they've lived together (a more conservative family), and they might wonder where is the china pattern, the utensils, stuff like that. I'm certainly not suggesting that she register for things they don't want, but I thought that it was odd to put figurines on your registry -- to have your guests enhancing your personal collections and stuff like that, rather than items for the couple. Also, they're inviting 180 guests, but only have registered for about 35 items (including a $400 dvd player) -- and don't intend to register for more. One store only has a single item on it, even though they could have gotten it at another store they're registered at, but maybe it wasn't available that way, I'm not sure. They don't have any hobbies that involve registries either (camping and so forth) so a "non-traditional" registry isn't really an option.
Basically, I don't really have any questions, I'm just asking for what are your thoughts on things like this. I'd appreciate any insight! I've never been involved in weddings much until the last few months, so I'm not sure how things are supposed to generally progress. Thanks for the input! If you have any questions (I don't know if I'm giving you all the info you need), just ask!
**************************************************
posted by syringa
Today, just about anything goes when it comes to registering, and many brides still choose not to register. I'm a wedding coordinator and I see registries for major appliances (a refrigerator one time), tools, barbeques, garden items (such as rakes and hoses, and much more.
Some guests don't like or use registries, particularly older guests and those from out of the area. Such guests will bring a gift of their choosing or send money or a gift certificate. If the bride only registered for 35 items, she may have a good chance of receiving most of them. Usually, a couple only receives about 30 to 40 percent of what they register for.
I wouldn't worry about her not choosing china or utensils. Most people don't use the china and crystal much and she may have all the pots and pans that she needs. She can also add to the registries any time before the wedding as she thinks of other things she might need.
**************************************************
posted by feb-bride
Tea, in this day and age, people register for all sorts of things. You can register for camping accessories, board games, collectible items, barbeque accessories - the list goes on and on.
I wouldn't worry that your cousin didn't register for "traditional" items. In fact, I haven't known anyone who's registering for china for years - most people just don't use it anymore or know that they're going to inherit their mom's pattern so don't have a desire to get their own.
The way I look at it - if you don't like what the couple has registered for and don't want to buy it, you are under no obligation to buy the items on their list.
**************************************************
posted by Tea
Oh, I'm not concerned myself, nor am I offended or anything. I'm just thinking that registry items ought to be more for the couple, not what the bride herself collects (her fiance thinks they're okay, but isn't into it). And there are even cookies on the list -- not something I would do, for certain. I know that couples register for many different types of items, but I guess I was just thinking about the "for the couple" aspect, rather than "for the bride".
**************************************************
posted by feb-bride
Tea, you're right - wedding gifts are usually for the couple, not the bride. I'd be willing to bet that part of it is the fact that the bride didn't get her fiance's help in registering for gifts. When I registered for my wedding, my fiance' was completely NOT interested in coming with me. So, I picked everything myself (sheets, towels, etc.). While they are gifts for both of us, my fiance' had absolutely no input into what I selected because he didn't care at all.
Chances are, your cousin's fiance' didn't care, either. If he did, then he should have had some input.
**************************************************
posted by velouria
I'm glad to see this here because I've been thinking about it myself. My fiance and I are in our 30s and have each lived on our own since we were in our teens. We have everything we need, and more! We definitely don't need any china (we're not big entertainers)... but we might want a large set of matching silverware.
What I was wondering... is it possible to register at a travel agency? We're huge travelers and would love to go that route. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!
**************************************************
posted by feb-bride
Yes, I have heard of registering at a travel agency. Actually, there is a company called Honeyluna (I'm not sure if that's the exact spelling) whose sole function is managing honeymoon registries.
Just keep in mind a few things - 1) you can only spread the word you're registered for this by word-of-mouth, 2) some people don't feel comfortable giving this type of gift because they like to buy you something without you knowing exactly what you spent, and 3) some people simply don't like to buy off a registry list.
If I were you, I would probably register for the honeymoon thing. But, I'd also probably register at a more "traditional" store. Even though you've been on your own for years, I'm sure you could use something for your home. For example, my fiance' and I have been living together for years, but we need new towels, bed linens, etc.
Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
**************************************************
posted by syringa
Some travel agencies offer honeymoon or trip registries, but they may require that you definitely purchase the trip if you register, even if you don't get contributions from your guests. Be sure to read the contract carefully, then decide if you really want the trip and can afford to pay for it yourself if you don't get many contributions. You may find that you can find a less expensive trip through another agency that doesn't have any "red tape" attached.
**************************************************
posted by Michael
My company, TheBigDay.com, offers a honeymoon registry service, with no signup fee and no requirement that you purchase travel through us (in fact, we're not a travel agency).
If you're interested in honeymoon registries, search for "honeymoon registry" at Yahoo, Google, MSN or wherever--they'll all show you the main 5 or 6 companies that provide this.
Syringa is quite correct in that nearly all of them either require that you book travel through them, or charge an additional fee if you don't.
Compare them on signup fee, service charge on the gifts (some of them charge 18%!), and look at their customer testimonials.
If anyone has honeymoon registry questions, I'll do my best to answer them in an unbiased way!
Michael Cottam
President, TheBigDay.com
**************************************************
posted by claire100
I would be very careful about creating a honeymoon registry. The company you use is likely to have fees or restrictions of some type.
You'd have more flexibility if you just used cash gifts you may receive for travel or whatever else you desire.
If you really don't need anything, you can choose to not register. By word of mouth, you can let people know your preferences.
**************************************************
posted by PJALLAR
I agree the gifts should be for the couple. I however have an additional question. My fiance wants to register at the Home Depot, we are planning on renovating his house the summer after we are married. Adding on two new rooms. He wants to register for things like a sledge hammer, nail gun, paint, and if I hadn't said no way he would want to register for lumber! Will people think this is weird? My fiance is an electrician, so it might not seem to unusual for him to be asking for tools etc.. What do you think?
Proper Registry Items?
I've heard that it's best to give your guests a wide variety of gifts (and in many different price ranges) to choose from so that they can find a gift on your registry they feel comfortable with giving.
Linear Mode
