Honeymoon? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

mluvsk · #1 01-15-2007, 04:38 PM

My FH and I are trying to decide on a honeymoon. We are going to have to pay for it all, because my inlaws and said nothing about contributing at all. So, needless to say, we can't go extravagant. We really want to do something tropical and all inclusive. We were looking into Sandals in Jamaica but it looks a little too much. THen, we were looking into a cruise. The prices were good, but the one that would work for us takes us to Cozumel, Mexico--does anyone know if that is a good honeymoon spot? Also, does anyone have any other suggestions. And, why haven't my inlaws offered to give us a little to go toward our honeymoon? I mean my parents are going to be dishing out 10,000 dollars for my wedding. Just a little frustrated!

maroki13 · #2 01-15-2007, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mluvsk

We really want to do something tropical and all inclusive. We were looking into Sandals in Jamaica but it looks a little too much. THen, we were looking into a cruise. The prices were good, but the one that would work for us takes us to Cozumel, Mexico--does anyone know if that is a good honeymoon spot?

We went to Cabo san Lucas, Mexico for our honeymoon. We really just wanted something tropical, warm, and relaxing, and that is exactly what we got. It isn't much of a sightseeing spot, but we sat on the beach and swam for 7 days, which is exactly what we wanted! I've never been to Cozumel; would the cruise just stop there for a day, or would you have significant time there on shore?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mluvsk

And, why haven't my inlaws offered to give us a little to go toward our honeymoon? I mean my parents are going to be dishing out 10,000 dollars for my wedding. Just a little frustrated!

No one is obligated to give money to you and FH for your wedding and/or honeymoon. Although many parents still contribute, they aren't required to give you money at all. And just because your parents are giving you money for the wedding doesn't mean his parents have to. Maybe his parents can't afford it? Or maybe they think that you can afford it yourselves?

When we first told our parents we were getting married, we never mentioned anything about money to them. Both sets of parents mentioned they would like to contribute money to the wedding, but left it at that. Once we started working on our budget, they let us know what they would be contributing and that was it. Sure, one set of parents contributed much less than the other set, but it wasn't a big deal to us and we never let them know.

Leslee&Jake · #3 01-15-2007, 05:19 PM

I have been to Cozumel on a cruise. We got to port late and we didnt get enough time to spend. while I could see how a cruise would be a good honeymoon I think that they dont give you enough time in port. I am not sure when your wedding is but.... I know that a lot of the resorts in mexico give really good delas for their off seasons... like when it isnt spring break time. I think you could find an all inclusive resort for a really good deal. Also check airfare specials because the airlines give good vacation deals from time to time as well! I would go to a travel agent and see what they can do for you.

MrsIvey · #4 01-15-2007, 05:22 PM

seeing that your in Alabama, and I am in Ga, how about Saint Simons Island in Georgia---you can go to VRBO.com to find cond and rental houses for a week....hope this helps...good luck

justnmary · #5 01-15-2007, 05:22 PM

Like Maroki said, no one has to help you pay for anything. It's just the way it is. We were lucky and my in-laws helped with some of the wedding, but my family didn't help with the wedding at all and it's not because they didn't want to, it's because they financially could not. We weren't able to take a honeymoon either due to the fact we just didn't have it in the budget. We will go somewhere some day, but right now it's not in the cards. So don't get too greedy because you might end up with nothing. Do what you can with what you have and be grateful for the help you're getting. Good luck!

I have no advice on honeymoon destinations. Sorry.

m_t_rose · #6 01-15-2007, 05:29 PM

If you are really strapped for cash and dont care where you want to go Try selloffvacations.com they have great prices and if you just knew you wanted to go somewhere and didn't care about deciding last minute then try their site

mluvsk · #7 01-15-2007, 05:35 PM

I know you guys are right, they are not required to give us anything for our honeymoon. But, I just think that if they were to give us a wedding present (which I am sure they will) a contribution would be nice. But, several of my friends had their honeymoon completely paid for by the groom's parents. Just makes me envious. My wedding is in June, so....I believe our tax money we get back will go toward the honeymoon.

Julz518 · #8 01-15-2007, 05:35 PM

I've never actually been there, but I have friend who goes scuba diving in Cozumel every year. It is DEFINITELY tropical, and not quite as touristy as Cabo or Cancun. The beaches are white and the water is blue... I think it would be a perfect spot for your honeymoon! If you decide to not do the cruise, I think travel agencies offer some pretty good resort packages to Cozumel throughout the year.

I think the traditions of the grooms family paying for the honeymoon and the brides family paying for the wedding is pretty outdated. I know my in-laws aren't contributing anything to the wedding or the honeymoon (except their own tux and dress)... nor would I expect them to. In this day & age, many couples pay for their own weddings. I think you should count your blessings that your family is contributing to your wedding ($10,000+ is VERY generous!!!) and don't expect anything from your in-laws.

NovemberGal · #9 01-15-2007, 05:51 PM

I didn't even know there was a tradition of the groom's parents paying for the honeymoon. Unfortunately, you need to plan the honeymoon you can pay for. If his parents, or anyone else, gives you money as a wedding present then great...it can go toward some fun extras, or a future trip, or a new vacuum cleaner, your choice.

My DH's parents gave us money as a wedding gift (which we SO didn't expect, because we split the wedding costs three ways--my folks, his folks, and us) but didn't give us the check until the day of the wedding, and certainly didn't mention it ahead of time. So you might still get money, you just might not know in time to plan for your honeymoon. My ILs didn't expect it to go toward our honeymoon, but know that we're planning a nice travel excursion in a couple of years (Italy or Hawaii) and hoped it could start a fund for that. Which it has.

whiddle · #10 01-15-2007, 10:41 PM

I've never been to Cozumel but I'm sure a cruise would make for a nice honeymoon. What about cruises departing from Jacksonville, FL? Depending on where in AL you live, it shouldn't be that far. I know they sail to the Bahamas (popular HM spot) from JAX.

tnbride · #11 01-18-2007, 01:50 PM

My fiances dad is giving us our honeymoon and wedding night hotel at the Hilton for our wedding present. The hilton is right next to the airport so we will hop on a plane the next morning and go to Cabo San Lucas,Mexico

AshyBekka · #12 01-18-2007, 02:21 PM

I've been to Cozumel on a few occasions and I LOVE it! Far less touristy than other places, and not nearly as spring break like as Cancun. I think you guys would like it.

And I agree that you should plan for a honeymoon that you can afford. I know with ours, we picked our location about a year before we left so we put down half then, and then saved some more and put the rest down about two months before we left (we went to Costa Rica). You really can't "ask" people to pay for your honeymoon-people may give you money as a wedding gift, but don't count on honeymoon contributions. If someone offers, great, but I think it's considered an etiquette no-no to solicit wedding gifts of any kind.

ladedah · #13 01-18-2007, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NovemberGal

I didn't even know there was a tradition of the groom's parents paying for the honeymoon.

I think the tradition generally was it is the Groom's responsibility to organize and pay for the honeymoon...not the grooms parents.

feb-bride · #14 01-18-2007, 03:45 PM

I know it's "disappointing" that the groom's parents haven't offered any help, but in this day and age, none of the parents (even the bride's) are obligated to help out financially or in any other way. When I got married, my dad/step-mom paid for a little over 25% of the expenses, I paid over 50%, my husband kicked in a little, and my ILs contributed somewhere around 5% of the expenses (they paid for the RD and reimbursed us for the wedding officiant after the wedding - they read something on the Internet that said the groom's parents traditionally pay for the officiant, so they gave us the money the day before we left for our honeymoon - totally unexpected).

My ILs have a lot more disposable money than anyone in my family, but they didn't offer anything else, and we didn't ask. In fact, the only reason why they ended up paying for the RD was because we were going to have it at my dad/step-mom's house and I was going to cook the food for everyone (we had the wedding caterer back out at the last minute, and I had to come up with extra cash, so we could no longer afford to take everyone to a restaurant). My FIL asked why we weren't having it at a restaurant, so I told him the truth - that I could no longer afford it and my dad/step-mom had already spent a sizable amount of money on my wedding, so there was no way I was going to ask for more. At that point - two weeks before the wedding - my ILs decided to pay for the RD so that we could have it at a restaurant.

Liz AG · #15 01-21-2007, 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladedah

I think the tradition generally was it is the Groom's responsibility to organize and pay for the honeymoon...not the grooms parents.

Also believe this to be traditional. Is this what has led to creating a honeymoon registry?

sparklesweetie · #16 01-21-2007, 02:51 AM

I feel for you hon, as we were pretty strapped for our honeymoon as well. However, I found a place we could afford, we drove down, and played at the beach all week. It was exactly what we wanted to do, more so even for me b/c DH had never seen the ocean. (He was amazed, btw.)

You'll just have to keep in mind your budget when looking at locations and activities. I found in my searching that the all-inclusives were too expensive, and that it wasn't a big deal for us to not eat every meal or big meals.

Like my grandma says...don't expect anything, and you may be surprised!

Heather · #17 01-21-2007, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mluvsk

We are going to have to pay for it all, because my inlaws and said nothing about contributing at all.
.......................
And, why haven't my inlaws offered to give us a little to go toward our honeymoon? I mean my parents are going to be dishing out 10,000 dollars for my wedding. Just a little frustrated!

No one is obligated, required, or should be expected to pay for anything for your wedding or your honeymoon. Be grateful and gracious that your parents are contributing anything at all, and be thankful that your in-laws raised someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. You shouldn't expect anything more than that. Your inlaws probably haven't offered because it's not, nor has it EVER been their responsibility. If you want tradition, your fiance should be paying for it so let him know that - and then do what you can afford.

SerendipityCrafts · #18 01-21-2007, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mluvsk

But, I just think that if they were to give us a wedding present (which I am sure they will) a contribution would be nice. But, several of my friends had their honeymoon completely paid for by the groom's parents. Just makes me envious. My wedding is in June, so....I believe our tax money we get back will go toward the honeymoon.

A gift is just that. Something that is given with nothing expected in return. Technically, no one is obligated to give you a gift at all so, I wouldn't be counting gift money before you actually have it in your hands. Plan the wedding with what money the two of you have gathered, and just be grateful for whatever you get.

As far as your friends having their honeymoon paid for .... just consider them lucky and move on. Don't harbour any resentment about this ....

TheaterDiva1 · #19 01-21-2007, 07:07 AM

Since you're in AL, I'd look into cruises leaving from Galveston or Miami.

mluvsk · #20 01-21-2007, 03:26 PM

Yeah, we are actually looking into crusies leaving from Mobile, AL. THat's only a 5 hour drive. So, we could drive there, but I'm not sure what we would do with our cars? They will prob. charge by the day if we leave them at the port, I'm guessing??

jatchue · #21 02-26-2007, 09:39 PM

A cruise is usually the best vacation for the money, Mobile charges $50 to park for a 4 day cruise and $60 for a five day cruise the web link to the cruise terminal is www.shipmobile.com. Cozumel is beautiful and the water is crystal clear if you like to snorkel or dive. The 5 night also goes to Costa Maya and if you can afford the extra $100 per person you should go for it.

soulsearcher1968 · #22 02-26-2007, 11:41 PM

In regards to spending $ and people contributing.
I know we are an older couple,
I understand that alot of the younger ones like that dream of a life time.
BUT...........
FI and I have decided that we could spend the $ elsewhere at this time.
Nobody is helping us with our wedding. As a matter of fact...we are not telling anybody - family wise - about the wedding until all the plans are done, everything is paid for, and we are ready to send out the invitations.

This way, we have no worries that aren't our own. Nobody pushing us to do things we don't want to do. None of the major issues I see coming up with other people.
Our goal is, if we can pay for it ourselves, then we can have it. Mind you...we don't make that much money. My FI's income is almost nothing during the winter months. About $2500 per month for he and I and my 2 kids.

OK off the box....

We are just going to stay in the little town we are getting married in, hang out with a few friends and continue the party on. Our big "honeymoon" will come in another year or so. When we are sure of the perfect place and we know we can go all out.

ADD: sorry it is so long
We are having our PERFECT wedding as it is. The place we both always dreamed of. The people we love. The flowers we both adore, the clothes that are "us", the food we love oh so much, and we are marrying the person we have looked for all our lives.
Take it all away. Put me in a pair of jeans a t-shirt and put me in our dream place (free to get married there) and let me marry my FI...nothing else is needed.

It is about your love for each other, the start of your new life. Not about anything else.

peckmiranda · #23 02-27-2007, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m_t_rose

If you are really strapped for cash and dont care where you want to go Try selloffvacations.com they have great prices and if you just knew you wanted to go somewhere and didn't care about deciding last minute then try their site

They only have vacations leaving from Canada...is there one for the US?

birdie · #24 02-27-2007, 03:07 AM

Don't forget it will be hurricane season. You're taking a chance with anything in Mexico or Bahamas, etc. Just reminding you!

imstilldreaming · #25 02-27-2007, 02:49 PM

We went to the Bahamas last year during hurricane season and only had one day of rain. It actually ended up being cool because we were on Grand Turk which was REALLY BORING (there was a Margaritaville. That's it.) It started storming like crazy and it was fun to swim in the ocean when it was raining that hard.