Anyone had to stop mid-plan...

[anna32182]

...and just get married in a hurry?

Here's the story.

FH and I are well on our way to having this thing in the bag. We're paying as we go, and things are coming along quite nicely. Then, the day before yesterday, he tells me that he has been recommended for a fantastic promotion (one he's been working on all year) and that the company finally opened up 10 more project teams that he can become a supervisor for. (He is currently a Project Team Lead for the corporate division of...a..well..i can't post the name, but we'll say it rhymes with Guest Guy & the store mainly sells electronics.)

Anyways, this promotion would take him to one of 10 places:
FL - 4 possible locations
TX
AZ
CO
KY
AL
GA

I can't stress enough how INSANELY excited he is about this. Don't get me wrong, i'm completely excited. I told him from the beginning that his career was advancing faster than mine, and I can always transfer intra-company. Thus, I would move wherever he got stationed. I want nothing more than for him to succeed, and he's been doing such a great job.

Then last night, he tells me he's passing up the promotion.

What?

I ask him why, and he says "the wedding". He said that another one will come up after the wedding, he's sure of it... and that it would be to hard to plan from afar. I told him we could always scale it down to family and a few close friends, have it at the VFW hall and just use what we have already. It doesn't matter if it's catered or potluck, dress or jeans... It won't make me love him any less or make our marriage any less important. September or tomorrow, I don't care. I can't seem to get him to understand it's not the how or when, it's the why and who.

So, I'm gonna work on him. No matter what he tells me now that he's in the middle of the situation, I KNOW that he really wants this job, and that he'll kick himself if he doesn't take it.

Thus, my question:

has anyone had to stop mid-plan to downsize?

[NovemberGal]

I haven't, but I know many people do, especially in this age of sudden call-ups for overseas military assignments. I believe there was someone on the boards who was in that position, and moved the wedding up, but I don't remember who or if she's still here.

I'm glad you're so supportive of his career, and I think you're probably right, he'll really regret passing this up. I think you can either change your plans or continue them from a distance, but you should really try to get him to take this.

[anna32182]

thanks for the tip. I hope she's still a regular poster.

I just don't want him looking back and saying 'coulda woulda shoulda', you know?

aaaaaaargh.

[AshyBekka]

I'm not sure if y'all were talking about me or not-our wedding date changed several times due to Cliff's deployment, and then we moved it to a different city about three months out because of venue issues. Is where you're currently planning your wedding your "hometown"? Where you grew up, where your families are, etc.? If so, you could always consider going home for a visit for your wedding weekend. That's essentlally what we did. Even though it was a little stressful not being right there throughout the planning, I had numerous family members "on the ground" for me throughout-meeting with vendors and such and taking pictures so I could see what was going on. It's completely doable if you want something like that.

I think you guys are definitely doing the right thing job-wise, and I also think that it's completely feasible to downsize the wedding or relocate (my friends all got a kick out of crossing one city off their save the dates in lieu of the new one-we're so classy-haha). You're dead on when you say it'll work out however you get married-at the end of the day, you two are together, and that's really all that matters. How far out are you from your original day? Just sit down with FH and talk things out-I'm sure you guys will figure out something perfect! Congrats!

[Kim&Bob2004]

I think you need to encourage him. You don't want him and you regretting not taking the job.

[michaelsbride]

We moved up our wedding from April 07 to September 06... the decision was made sometime around February 06 leaving us just six months and no money to plan. We moved it up because I have a medical issue that once I left my job in Florida, I would lose insurance. We could have waited until April but we would have had to live apart for another year while I stayed at my old job.

We went from a vision of pomp and circumstance to a VERY low key, backyard wedding amongst basically his friends and family as most of mine couldn't make it.

We actually ALMOST moved the wedding up to even a month sooner because he was due for a promotion around the time of the wedding. Luckily his training date wound up falling right after the wedding so we were okay.

I can tell you from experience, you can have your cake and eat it too... If you want the wedding vision that you've already started planning, it's really not THAT much more difficult to plan it from wherever you'll be living and then just show up. At the time we got engaged, I was in Orlando, he was in Kentucky and we planned a wedding in San Diego. Just enlist the help of friends and family!

But i do think if he passes this opportunity up, he may regret/resent you for it later. Or throw it back in your face everytime you have an argument ya know?

[anna32182]

yeah... i hear you.

So, we talked last night. Looks like if he does get the promotion, we're going to just have a little shindig. (we have insurance issues too. I have a medical condition where i cannot be w/o insurance and leaving my job = no insurance) So, being married before we leave is almost mandatory. No biggie. We decided we're going to stay with the same officiant (a friend of mine) and bm/gm, we'll just tone it all down. If i can get married in jeans, i'll be a happy girl!

(hahaha... so look for an ad soon in the Classifieds for a wedding gown, never worn!)

I'll keep you posted.

[maroki13]

I think him taking the promotion and you moving the wedding up is a good idea. THe promotion will affect your lives (and his career) for a long time to come, while the wedding (although a lot of fun and a great experience) is only one day of your lives. Besides, it isn't about the huge celebration; it is about the joining of your two lives and the start of your marriage.

Plus, what an exciting way to start a marriage; a huge promotion and an exciting move to a new city!!!

[m_t_rose]

Originally Posted by anna32182

If i can get married in jeans, i'll be a happy girl!

That great that you worked everything out. The important thing is marrying the man you love anyway.

[feb-bride]

No matter how low-key your wedding ends up, there's no reason you can't wear the dress that you've already picked out.