*pulling hair out* - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

ladedah · #1 12-09-2005, 05:59 PM

Ugh...I seriously just got a resignation letter from one of my bridesmaids. For Pete's sake...

So, what do I do? Do I ask a replacement? Is that tacky? I have four months until the wedding.

Eeek

(actually she was more of a pain in the a$$, so I don't really care...but..any advice...)

bebe · #2 12-09-2005, 06:01 PM

I don't think I would replace her. The replacement would feel like just that - a replacement (2nd choice, etc.) Sorry it didn't work out!

ljeagle · #3 12-09-2005, 06:37 PM

I'm sorry ladedah I know it has to be hard. I don't know if I would pick someone else u might hurt feeling. Maybe if u had a sister fill in she might understand but I know my friends would be hurt..

maroki13 · #4 12-09-2005, 06:42 PM

I'm sorry to hear about that! It may be more of a relief to you that she is out of the picture now. I am having uneven sides for my bridal party and FH's groomsmen; I'd rather do that than have someone I didn't want in my BP.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #5 12-09-2005, 06:51 PM

A resignation letter?!?! That's pretty formal. How do you feel about it? Is the friendship jeopardized?

Sereniti71 · #6 12-09-2005, 06:52 PM

Hi. I would just go on without her. The sides can be uneven (if they were even before). It will be okay. Just move forward and forget about her.

TheaterDiva1 · #7 12-09-2005, 06:57 PM

A resignation letter? Yeesh! Sorry to hear that though, but sine you said she was a PITA, it's probably all for the best.

And I wouldn't replace her. My feeling about that is is the replanement was that important to you, you would've asked her to me a BM in the first place. Just go with what you have and you'll be fine.

Marge129 · #8 12-09-2005, 08:01 PM

I can't believe she sent you a letter!

I wouldn't replace her at this point. The person you would replace her with probably wouldn't feel as... I dunno... a part of the wedding as the other attendants.

How do you feel about her dropping out?

Complicated Woman · #9 12-10-2005, 03:57 AM

I wouldn't bother with a replacement at this point. I agree with everything the other girls have said. Sucks that she wasn't quite the friend you thought she was in the beginning.

555Ann555 · #10 12-12-2005, 03:05 PM

I'm with the others, I'd not replace her.

But a resignation letter?!?

Unless... well... you didn't ask her the be part of the bridal party by formal invitation did you? We're you not on speaking terms when she resigned?

Jennifer · #11 12-12-2005, 05:31 PM

I'm with the majority...don't replace her. We had a GM drop out a few months back...and we are going to keep the numbers uneven...oh well...

Keezheekoni · #12 12-12-2005, 09:38 PM

That would be hard. As of right now I have lost one of my bridesmaids but mainly because she's pregnant and homeless. (long story) I agree with everyone else. You shouldn't replace her and if she doesn't even have the guts to tell you to your face she doesn't want to be a part of your wedding I don't think I'd even extend an invitation.

tmo · #13 12-13-2005, 02:53 PM

Think of it as a blessing in disguise. Like you said, she had been a PITA. If she had stayed in you'd probably writing to ask how could you kick her out.

Maybe she didn't feel comfortable turning you down when you asked her. Or her feelings changed since then. Or some things happened where she felt that felt she no longer could participate. At least she didn't step down a week before the wedding. For what ever reason she did give a decent amount of notice. As mentioned before you don't have to have an replacement.

Granted it is a bummer she stepped down. I think she is more of a friend than you realize. Instead of going along for the sake of it and being a pain the whole time. She didn't step-down, like I said before, a week before or even closer to the date. Ladies, we've heard some brides complain that a BM had dropped the ball.

I say don't be too hard on your friend right now. You have other things to tend to. After things wind down, if you're still friends with her, you can talk to her maybe she's willing to share what the deal was.

I tell ya, weddings bring out quite the emotions out of everyone. Good and (mostly heard about) bad.

ladedah · #14 12-13-2005, 10:35 PM

Hey Ladies...thanks for the good vibes...it's been a while since I posted...so I wanted to update...

basically I know what the primary deal was...we had a disagreement a month ago about the bridesmaid dresses...that is kind of a long story...I had posted about it before, so I won't go into it again...but anyways...I had just kind of stepped back until her (and another bridesmaid) had time to get over it. Well, I of course told my MOH the whole deal that happened (when it was happening)....and recently she sent an e-mail about the shower they all were planning (because it's like two months away), and had mentioned that if anyone wasn't able to do what was originally planned to please let her know so that she could be sure it would be taken care of...PITA #1 felt that it was a blatant negative comment toward her and was upset that everyone was talking about her behind her back and how this was all done for me so that no one else would be uncomfortable (Can you say drama queen)...Anyways...the letter was quite frankly ridiculous...and since then her little buddy PITA Bridesmaid #2 also dropped....

So here's the cool thing, I have two friends who were going to be my personal attendants because even though they were on my bridesmaid list (and I told them this ahead of time), we just couldn't have two more. Both of them have graciously stepped up and offered to become an attendant..I didn't specifically ask them to do this because I didn't want anyone to feel like a replacement...when I told them this...both of them basically told me that anyone who was truly a friend wouldn't ever feel that way. SO...all things happen for a reason...I honestly beleive that someone is watching out for me and I need to have the other two there instead and this is just how it had to play out....

Good Riddance Evil Bridesmaids....Hello my lovely friends.

maroki13 · #15 12-13-2005, 11:01 PM

ladedah...
That is great! I'm sorry to hear that your two BMs dropped out, but it truly seems it was for the better. And, it is great that your two new attendants knew that they were on the bridesmaid list originally. That makes it a little less like they are 'replacements'; they know you wanted them in the wedding and it just wasn't doable before.

Everything happens for a reason! Looks like yours worked out.

Heather · #16 12-13-2005, 11:05 PM

I'm so glad everything worked out for you. I had issues with a BM and almost asked her to step down. When I was telling another girlfriend about it (not a BM), she said if I needed her to step in and take over, she would do it in a heart-beat. That is a true friend. They want to be there to help you and they do not want to be there for their own selfish reasons.

Your day is going to be that much better because of these two girls.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #17 12-14-2005, 12:53 AM

That's wonderful. Glad to hear you found out who your true friends are.

allison · #18 12-14-2005, 12:54 AM

That's great that everything worked out for you, and you know who your true friends are.

SuzyBride · #19 12-14-2005, 06:50 PM

I am so glad things worked out! Weddings can surely let you know real quick who you can depend on and who your true friends are!