This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by sparklesweetie on 10/03/05.
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posted by sparklesweetie
FH has yet to pick out anyone to stand with him, which is fine as of now. However, the ones that he is thinking of he knows will not have the money to rent a tux. They are also relatives of his.
Now, this is why I'm asking if it's fair or not, b/c my BM are paying for their own dresses and accessories. One of them is his sister, also. They all knew when I asked them to be in it what money was going to be involved in it, and no one's complained.
I'm just afraid that if he pays for the guys' tuxes, the girls will be mad b/c they had to pay for theirs. I don't think this is fair, but I don't know for sure. Your thoughts are appreciated.
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posted by doodlebug1981
I wouldn't worry about this too much. Your fience could keep it hush hush or just tell any one who asks that it was a gift for being a groomsman. Your bridesmaids would prob. understand anyway if he really isn't able to afford the tux himself. How was his sister able to pay for the bridesmaid dress?
Have him tell his groomsmen not to broadcast it and no one needs to know.
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posted by syringa
This is not that uncommon; the reasoning I have heard is that the women get to keep their dresses so they have something to show for the money but the men are paying for something that they will wear for only a few hours.
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posted by Cirig
Honestly, I'd be annoyed too. But the other girls are probably right.
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posted by NovemberGal
I don't think it's a problem. I'm helping two of my girls with their dresses because of their financial situation, and not the other two, and we're not helping out any of the guys. It hasn't been mentioned to any one else except my MaidOH, who is best friends with my MatronOH (who I'm helping) and knows of her situation and assumed I'd be doing it anyway. I just confirmed it for her.
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posted by maroki13
I don't think helping the guys with their tuxes will be that big of a deal. It isn't information you need to broadcast, and I'm sure they won't be quick to admit they didn't pay for them either. I think it is nice that financial situations are not barring people from being in the wedding party. We have a couple of GM who will have trouble paying for their tux rentals (brothers of FH) but his father will be picking up the price.
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posted by CupieJen
I like the idea of saying that you paying for (or paying part of) the tuxes is their GM gift. Personally that's what I'd do.
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posted by labeadel
I say it's nobody else's business what you pay for and for whom. As long as the GM doesn't advertise it, I wouldn't worry about it.
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posted by sparklesweetie
So...I guess this is more money I'll have to account into the budget then...should he choose to have his nephews stand with him. (We'd be paying for all three of them completely.) And true, they can count it as their gifts (which saves me from trying to find something). Lol. Just hope it doesn't cost too much...
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posted by labeadel
The tuxes we chose cost about $75 per person. Just to give you an idea of what to expect. And some places will give a tux for free if you rent so many of them, and you can apply it to whomever you'd like.
Is it fair?
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