Uggh... Sister/ Bridesmaid disgusts me!! - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

MarthaA562 · #1 11-26-2006, 07:06 AM

Just Venting...
Ok, so my sister has had issues all of her life with needing attention and competing with myself and my other sister. First, she wanted to wear these very tight and low cut dresses even though I told her that we had to think about the comfort of the other ladies. Then, she told me that she is starting to work out and wants proffessional makeup, hair, and "glamour shots" of her that day!! I asked for a couple of pics of her to add to my wedding page... and here they are:

I mean, come on, does she really have no pics of her clothed??? I do... when she was about 8 months pregnant, so unless she can be more appropriate, then that is what I will post!!
I may sound like a bridezilla, but she has always been this way and it has always driven me crazy!!She had slept with my boyfriend a few years ago while I was sick asleep and things like that... I have forgiven her, but it is my day, not hers. She already had her marriage in the backyard pregnant with a potluck dinner... that was her choice. Also, she wanted me to include them in the Powerpoint slideshow during the reception. There is no way that these pics are going to make it anywhere in my wedding or wedding page!! I don't want anyone's pictures of them in a bikini in it (esp. mine!!!)

Laurie · #2 11-26-2006, 01:18 PM

This is what I would do if I was you..

Take the second picture and crop it so it doesnt show the boobs... If you need some help on cropping it I will be more than willing to do it...

If she wants glamour shots the day of the wedding let her get it done on her own and let her hirer the photographer for herself... Your hiring the photographer for your wedding not hers.

Your wedding day is your wedding day.. If your getting the same dresses for all the girls they should all be happy with them.

The centre of attention on your wedding is to be on you !

Heather · #3 11-26-2006, 02:49 PM

Totally agree. Just crop the pictures so they show her from the neck up.

NovemberGal · #4 11-26-2006, 03:20 PM

I agree with the cropping, and with Laurie's point that if she wants to have glamour shots done BEFORE she needs to be at your wedding, let her do that on her own dime and time. Keep in mind that the professional makeup used for those glamour shots often doesn't look at all good close up and in person--so she may look like a streetwalker compared to you and your other maids.

sparklesweetie · #5 11-26-2006, 03:23 PM

What they said.

Although, if I were as self-absorbed as your sister sounds to be, I would make sure I looked good in said bikini before flaunting pictures of it.

(If I offend, I apologize. I'm in total b$*%& mode this week.

)

MarthaA562 · #6 11-26-2006, 04:36 PM

Well, she is acting like a streetwalker. Cropping them may send her the message, but I was thinking that the pic I have with her 8 months pregnant may be more demeaning (nothing against pregnant women, I just know she hated those pictures). Ok... now I am being a brat... But she makes me a little bitter!

Laurie · #7 11-26-2006, 05:18 PM

hehehehe.. when I was writing my first response I had used the word hooker and changed it since I was trying to be nice...

Now I know not to hold back my feelings in this forum..

Cause we all think the same.. hahahahah

Can you post the other picture hun?

maroki13 · #8 11-26-2006, 07:18 PM

I agree with the other ladies. Crop the pictures, show them to her, and tell her your two options are (a) the cropped pictures or (b) the pregnant pictures. Either you'll choose one of those or she'll send you more appropriate, clothed pictures that she likes....

Hope it works out! As far as the "glamour" shots go....definitely tell her that YOUR photographer won't be taking them, as he/she is there to photograph you and your day, but she is welcome to pay someone else and do her shots before the wedding by herself....and make sure your photographer knows the situation so your sister doesn't try to pull a fast one on the wedding day.

Sh@ks18 · #9 11-26-2006, 10:03 PM

Dont stoop down to her level by posting the pregnant shots, you dont need to add fuel to the fire. I like the idea of giving her the option between the cropped and the preggo pics. Good luck

Heather · #10 11-26-2006, 10:12 PM

I agree with Shaks. Posting an awful pic of her makes you seem like the petty/jealous one. Just crop and move on.

MarthaA562 · #11 11-26-2006, 10:44 PM

Ok, you all are right... I am kinda being a bit*#% about it... but now I am over the initial shock. I am just a little bitter b/c of the years of dealing with her. There is more to it, but I am not going to go into all of that. I think that pregnant people are beautiful and she looks much better in that picture anyways. It also is more meaningful because she is carrying her child (my nephew) inside her and she has that "glow". Maybe I will talk to her and explain that I think it would be more appropriate for the grandparents and other guests to post pictures of her fully clothed, so we can either put the picture of her pregnant (which I think she looks great in!!), or we can take some new pics and she can get all make-uped up and look great in them!! I think that would be the most appropriate way to deal with it. I do not want to seem like a monster... I just have to think before I speak sometimes b/c sometimes I tend to be too honest about my feelings, and it gets me in trouble. But here is the pic, dont you think she looks prettier in it??

I think she suffers from a low self-esteem and has to do these things to make her feel better about herself. She is in a bad relationship and has always suffered from a low self-esteem, thats why she does these things and all of the things she has done to me and my other sister all of our lives. So, knowing this, I should probably promote her self-esteem, not tear it down.

Thanks you helping me not be a bitc*% about this, as was my initial reaction!!

maroki13 · #12 11-26-2006, 10:58 PM

I think that picture is much better and honestly, I can barely tell she is pregnant in that picture. The print of the dress and the way she is standing make it difficult to tell....so I would tell her you think she looks gorgeous in the dress!! She may resist though, so maybe still offer her the choice of the cropped picture or the pregnant picture.

michandmitch · #13 11-26-2006, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroki13

I think that picture is much better and honestly, I can barely tell she is pregnant in that picture. The print of the dress and the way she is standing make it difficult to tell....so I would tell her you think she looks gorgeous in the dress!! She may resist though, so maybe still offer her the choice of the cropped picture or the pregnant picture.

I absolutely agree!

Laurie · #14 11-26-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michandmitch

I absolutely agree!

I second that!

birdie · #15 11-27-2006, 12:21 AM

She looks much better in the prego picture!

wynelle · #16 11-27-2006, 12:50 AM

She slept with your boyfriend while you were sick in bed!!!

I assume this wasn't Joe.

I couldn't really tell she was pregnant in the clothed pictures, and she looks about ten years younger and softer in that picture. I would use either the cropped photo or the pregnant photo unless she chooses to provide you with others.

MarthaA562 · #17 11-27-2006, 01:15 AM

[quote=wynelle]She slept with your boyfriend while you were sick in bed!!!

I assume this wasn't Joe.

Yes, she did the same thing to my younger sister, and NO it is not Joe... in fact I warned him about her before he was allowed to meet her. We kinda joke about it now... But she is my sister and I do love her, I just think that she has issues!!!
I am also going to offer to take more pictures of her. I don't want any of our grandparents or family to be exposed to the other pictures.

DavidsWife · #18 11-27-2006, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurie

This is what I would do if I was you..

Take the second picture and crop it so it doesnt show the boobs... If you need some help on cropping it I will be more than willing to do it...

If she wants glamour shots the day of the wedding let her get it done on her own and let her hirer the photographer for herself... Your hiring the photographer for your wedding not hers.

Your wedding day is your wedding day.. If your getting the same dresses for all the girls they should all be happy with them.

The centre of attention on your wedding is to be on you !

Leslee&Jake · #19 11-27-2006, 05:52 AM

I agree with everyone so far. I think that her pregnant pictures is beautiful. I like it WAY better than the others and I would use that one!

555Ann555 · #20 11-27-2006, 07:58 AM

If she doesn't like her bump you could always crop the pregnant picture, because she does look really pretty in that one

Is she always on holiday? Or are you guys just lucky enough to live somewhere beautiful by the sea?

Yelycrazygirl · #21 11-27-2006, 04:05 PM

I think that croping the pics will do.....

ohiobride · #22 11-27-2006, 04:30 PM

The pregnant picture of her is lovely! I know EXACTLY what you mean about the sister thing, so you have my sympathy -- it's never gotten easier as we got older, and I thought (hoped) it would.

TheaterDiva1 · #23 11-27-2006, 05:06 PM

I would just post the preggo pic - she looks better in it, and I couldn't even see the bump.

And as for the glamour pics, I'm with the others - she she wants to hire someone on her own time and dime, that's her perrogative, but she is not hijacking the photographer YOU paid for. Not only do I second the suggestion of warning the photographer, I'd stipulate that all pictures must include you and/or your FH.

m_t_rose · #24 11-27-2006, 06:02 PM

Yes I would tell the photographer for sure just incase. I would crop the preggo picture so it is like a head and shoulders shot. I think she looks great in the picture she looks a lot younger and softer.

whiddle · #25 11-27-2006, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroki13

I think that picture is much better and honestly, I can barely tell she is pregnant in that picture. The print of the dress and the way she is standing make it difficult to tell....so I would tell her you think she looks gorgeous in the dress!! She may resist though, so maybe still offer her the choice of the cropped picture or the pregnant picture.

Ditto.