Pre-Nup???

[MarthaA562]

How many are having prenups here.... or have you discussed it yet?? Joe and I have joked around about it, but have not sat down and seriously discussed it. It seems a little unromantic to me... like you are talking and setting yourself up for failure.

[munchkin]

Absolutely not. I think having a prenup is assuming you'll get divorced. No one in my family has ever been divorced, and I will not be the first one. That same thing for DJ's family. If we have problems, we will get help. We will never divorce unless it becomes an abusive situation or there is cheating involved.

[NovemberGal]

We don't have a pre-nup, but I don't see it as setting yourself up for divorce. In certain situations I think it is very recommended. If either person has children from a previous marriage, for example. No matter how much you believe you love each other and even if you got divorced you'd be civil, it is a parent's responsibility to protect their child first. My MOH got married a couple of years ago to a man who has two young daughters from a previous marriage, and they have a pre-nup just to be absolutely certain that ALL the children (they had a child together before they married, as well) are legally taken care of. Also, with children and especially any kind of blended family, a living will is a MUST. That's sort of off-topic but sort of related, and I feel very strongly about it, so I'm saying it.

DH and don't have any kind of complicated situation, have pretty equal monetary situations (he has more, but he's 12 years older and has been working/saving longer; but he isn't a millionaire who needs to protect his assets or anything), and have extremely good communication, so we don't have a pre-nup.

[Emily]

No way dude - arent they only for celebrities!?!?

I totally agree with Munchkin that it brings the possibility of divorce into the equation and that isnt an option in my marriage! Also Damon and I are mature enough to be fair if we ever did divorce!

[AshyBekka]

As a baby lawyer, I understand the need for prenups in certain situations, like NovemberGal said. People with family land, children, major assets, etc. really should consider them-especially in community property states. However, it's just not something that Cliff and I need or want. Neither of us has anything really, no kids, etc., so it's just not a priority for us.

[DragonYoga]

I'm still considering bring up prenups with my FH, mainly because I do co own an acre of land, and we will be buying a house (and that counts as a major asset), so I just want to make SURE that in the incredibly unlikely event that we do split (God, I hope not!), then we will BOTH be okay money wise.

[maroki13]

DH and I did not sign a pre-nup. Neither of us have children, and both of our assets are equal, so we didn't feel we had anything to protect individually.

In fact, I don't know that we even discussed a pre-nup. I don't think it ever came up.

[birdie]

We haven't discussed it. We are both so poor there's no need!

[Sh@ks18]

Im against a prenup as well, unless there's millions involved

[justnmary]

Neither one of us has more then the other so we're ok there. Even if there were to be a divorce involved, I'd pretty much just give him what he wanted and walk away. EXCEPT the house would get sold and we'd split the profit 50/50. Everything else I could care less about.

[Soon_To_Be_Bride]

No pre-nup!

[Complicated Woman]

No pre-nup. Divorce is not an option (unless he someday abuses me or our future children).

[wynelle]

I don't necessarily think prenups indicate you think you could get a divorce, and I don't think prenups are always indicated.

I do think that if either the bride or groom enters into the marriage with significantly greater assets than the spouse, or with children from a previous relationship or with family inherited items/property, then a prenup is indicated.

I personally have friends whose parents married encore spouses without a prenup. When one did end in divorce, the woman's attorney tried to divide the current assets evenly, ignoring the fact that one of the assets was a family farm, which had been in my friend's family for five generations and where my friend lived and managed the farm production.

Courts can be whacko. And people you have loved forever can get really crazy if/when they see a certain lifestyle going away. I don't particularly want my husband's adult children to inherit what my parents worked to give me. They are both adults, and were adults when we married. (they are both grabby, selfish b*tches, too). We didn't have a prenup, but I do have a will and a living trust, to make sure that should I die first, my residual estate goes to my children. DH agrees with that.

[Steph]

I agree with Wynelle.

[AshNJam07]

Originally Posted by birdie

We haven't discussed it. We are both so poor there's no need!

That is exactly how i feel!! No prenup for us!!!

[Kim&Bob2004]

I can see a need for a pre-nup in certain situation, mostly if there is "family" property involved. For instance when my brother got married, I really thought he should have signed a pre-nup because my mom has all her property in his name. Hasn't been a problem yet and I am sure if push came to shove a court would side in her favor since she pays taxes etc.... but it still kind of makes me worried when I have nothing else to be worried about.... (thus not overly often).

Bob and I didn't sign one, didn't need one (even though I was the one handling all the legal stuff after my dad died...). However I CAN see the use of a contract that lays out certain chores that should be done by certain people!

[Julz518]

As usual, I'm the voice of dissent...

I DO want a pre-nup and FH (and my mother and sister, etc.) says I'm crazy! FH has slightly greater assests than me I know if something happens I will not be fair about dividing them... so I guess I want it to protect HIM. He essentially picked out and made the downpayment on our house, but I know I wouldn't let him have it if we got divorced (even though I wouldn't want to live there by myself). He's not a fighter, so he would probably give in.

I remember how royally my mother got screwed in her divorce and don't want him to end up the same (as I'm can be a lot like my dad). I also think a pre-nup can outline strategies for non-divroce scenarios... like we agree to attend so much counselling before we agree on a divorce...

I love my FH, and I am whole-heartedly convinced that if anyone is meant to be, it is us... but I am also a very cautious person and I can't predict the future which drives me nuts! I definitely don't think a pre-nup commits you to a divorce, but I think it goes a long way if your fairy tale turns sour.

[mluvsk]

I'm not doing a pre-nup I think its dumb. We're not getting divorced. Although, I do know things happen, but how many of us are millioniares out there? Wouldn't you only need one if you had tons of money?

[m_t_rose]

We are not having a pre-nup because we have shared everything since we started working so everything really is 50/50. I can see how someone would want one though. If you had something that was very important to you then you could get a pre-nup to protect that item even if it isn't worth a ton on money it might be a family heirloom

[wynelle]

You don't have to be a millionaire to need a prenup.

Classic example from my mother's generation. Lots of women worked at nurses, teachers, secretaries to put their husbands through law school, medical school, even just college. When married, all assets were even. Twenty years later, the men divorced them for trophy wives. Women weren't able to afford the "good" divorce attorneys. Many women lost their homes, got minimal child support and alimony. The younger, blonder trophy wives got the benefit of the medical school education the first wives paid for.

The movie First Wives Club wasn't far from the truth. No one anticipates divorce when they marry, but the stronger the love, frequently the nastier the divorce. People hide assets, run up lots of credit card debt on the spouse's card, etc. My DH's ex handled the finances. She hid over $30,000 in a private account, systematically made major improvements to the house, and in the settlement, had a friend come over and underappraise the house by $50,000. So when he sold her his share of the house, she got the benefit of $100,000 in improvements AND at a reduced rate.

There are some divorced women on this board. How many of you thought you would never be divorced from your true love... and how many feel the divorce division was fair? Or if your parents divorced, did one do better than the other.

[justnmary]

I got screwed in my divorce. Why? Because I was too afraid to stand up to him. That being said.....prenups are not a bad way to go, but I'm also not a materialistic person and if he wants the house that bad he can have it. But at the same time, he better be prepared to take it to court because I won't just hand it to him. I worked just as hard on that house as he did. Being I already have two children and we have one on the way, the judge would either make us sell the house and divide the profit or the judge would sign the house over to me. Being our mortgage is less then what my rent was at one point, I could handle the payment and no judge will kick my kids out on the street especially if he can't prove me to be a bad mom....which he can't. So, I'm fairly safe. But yea, I wish I would have covered my ass the last time.

[555Ann555]

Never even considered it! There was never any need, neither of us has anything for the other to take!

I don't have a will yet either, and I only just got a private pension... I guess I don't feel old enough to need all that stuff.

(yeah I know, you're never to young to sort out your finances).

ETA: We tease each other because his dad was a doctor & I grew up in a poor council estate (government housing) that I'm the poor chic who's going to run off with his money

[BJC777SRL]

Originally Posted by Complicated Woman

No pre-nup. Divorce is not an option (unless he someday abuses me or our future children).

This is how I feel EXACTLY.

[janeandreawong]

This is something I'd like to get. I have been very careful about my finances and I really don't believe that he'll be there for me forever. What if I want to get out of the marriage, say, I fell out of love, or something like that. I've been broken hearted twice and right now I am not very idealist about love and relationships. I know things might end and I might not have any power over them. I'd like to get what I worked for and he'll get his. I haven't told him yet though because I know it will offend him.




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[angelgurl77]

I'm not getting one. He had nothing coming into our relationship. Everything we have, we've worked for together. Our bills are together, our cars are together and everything. Why have a prenup? It's like taking my own stuff lol