She still hasn't gone in - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

wembley · #1 12-07-2005, 07:48 PM

I have one bridesmaid left that still hasn't gone in to get measured. I keep telling her to get in. She doesn't even have to pay anything when she goes in, she just has to get to the store, and she still hasn't gone.

I got a phone call from the shop saying the deadline for ordering is approaching and we're still waiting on Stephanie. I don't know what else to do besides keep telling her but I'm getting frustrated! If we miss the deadline, I not only have her without a dress, but three other bridesmaids with nothing as well.

Grrrrr

bebe · #2 12-07-2005, 08:04 PM

I would just call her and ask what the hold up is. Has she given you any indication of why she hasn't done it? Tell her that the dress shop is calling you, concerend about the order and that it won't get back in time because she hasn't gotten fitted. Give her a date that she has to have it done by, and tell her after that, you are going to have to go ahead and tell them to send the order without her dress, and at that point she will not have a dress and will not be a BM. If she can't even get in to get measured for her dress - which is jeopardizing the order for EVERYONE - how can you be sure she will be reliable for anything else wedding related? She is being really selfish. If I sound bitter, it's because I am! I had a couple of irresponsible PITA bms that everyone else wanted to strangle because of things like this. Don't miss the deadline because of her! If she doesn't get it done after you have told her repeatedly and doesn't have a good reason for the delay, she misses the boat and it's her own fault, you have nothing to feel bad about. Sorry you are having to go through this!

555Ann555 · #3 12-07-2005, 08:07 PM

Ditto what Bebe said, don't let her walk all over you, if she's toying with you already without a good reason then I'd imagine it'll only get worse as your wedding gets closer.

Cirig · #4 12-07-2005, 08:59 PM

I agree too! What she said!!!

feb-bride · #5 12-07-2005, 09:06 PM

I agree with bebe. I would tell this woman that she has until X date, and if she doesn't get measured, you'll be placing the order WITHOUT her.

Chillchacha · #6 12-07-2005, 09:15 PM

Bebe is right. It’s time you poked her with a fork, like your quote says.

Jennifer · #7 12-07-2005, 09:17 PM

I feel for you...I have 2 BMs (one is the Matron of Honor and one is FSIL) that STILL haven't bought a dress. I have about 5 weeks to go and I have had nightmares about my girls showing up without dresses.

We had a groomsman back out on us so if one of these two girl's don't buy a dress by closer to the wedding...at least our numbers will be even.

TheaterDiva1 · #8 12-07-2005, 09:28 PM

I agree with Bebe also. It's not fair to the other BM's - don't risk them not getting their dresses because one BM dragged her heels. Besides, this could be in indication of what type of BM she'd be. You don't need that stress.

whiddle · #9 12-07-2005, 10:21 PM

Ditto Bebe.

Jennifer- 5 weeks to go and still haven't even ordered? Scary!

Jennifer · #10 12-07-2005, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whiddle

Ditto Bebe.

Jennifer- 5 weeks to go and still haven't even ordered? Scary!

I agree with Bebe as well..order them now regardless of her...so you can ensure that the girls that did go on time don't have to panick and get rushed alterations.

Fortunately for me, whiddle, they just need to fina black dress..any black dress will do. If we were ordering...I would have taken their measurements myself and taken them in. (I use to work at BridesMart, now Alfred Angelo, so I wouldn't take any chances!)

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #11 12-07-2005, 11:43 PM

I agree with everyone else.

Do you think there's a reason why she might be wanting to back out of the wedding or is she just irresponsible in general?

labeadel · #12 12-08-2005, 12:15 AM

If you just don't feel like the drama of getting in her face, so to speak, then you could offer to have lunch with her and then go together after lunch. This is how DH had to do it with a GM, although the GM ended up doing it on his own, probably b/c DH kept calling him and the GM never had time for the lunch. I would probably be more inclined to go bebe's route, but if you don't like that one, you could try the "attract more bees with honey" route.

Marge129 · #13 12-08-2005, 12:43 AM

I say beat her.

J/K I agree with everyone else.

Complicated Woman · #14 12-08-2005, 01:11 AM

I'm so sorry she's being so difficult! The girls have pretty much covered everything I would say, so I'll just say that it sucks!

::hugs::

Your wedding will be beautiful, with or without her.

wembley · #15 12-12-2005, 03:15 AM

She finally made it in

I talked to her voicemail many many times and I left emails but I couldn't get a hold of her and when we finally talked, she admitted that before she just didn't get in because it didn't sound like much fun and then she forgot with finals and the end of college coming up. I'll cut her some slack for now since she did get in and hopefully after this month she'll be done with school and I can have her attention to myself

She called me while at the shop panicked though. She got measured and they must have had someone new there or something because it took awhile to figure out what dress and what bride she was there for and then they wanted her to pay half of the bill right then. The dresses have been paid for since October though, because there was a sale and so I paid the bill and the girls are paying me back. I talked to the woman and we got it all straightened out after some discussion. Hopefully I won't have to worry about the dresses for at least little awhile.

ljeagle · #16 12-12-2005, 03:47 AM

That's good news! I'm glad it worked out for you...

555Ann555 · #17 12-12-2005, 09:17 AM

Yeah!!!

maroki13 · #18 12-12-2005, 04:19 PM

I'm glad she finally went in!! It probably serves her right that she had a little panic moment, since she was making you panicked about the dress!! lol

Complicated Woman · #19 12-12-2005, 04:35 PM

Yay! Good news! I agree with maroki, things have a way of working out like that sometimes.

gymrat · #20 12-13-2005, 12:51 AM

Yeah!!!

syringa · #21 12-13-2005, 02:00 AM

Perhaps the moment of panic will serve as a wake up call that things can and do happen, so it is best not to procrastinate.

555Ann555 · #22 12-28-2005, 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer

I feel for you...I have 2 BMs (one is the Matron of Honor and one is FSIL) that STILL haven't bought a dress. I have about 5 weeks to go and I have had nightmares about my girls showing up without dresses.

Just came across this post and wondered if your attendants sorted out their dresses yet? There will have been loads of black party dresses in the stores over the holidays so it shouldn't have been too much of a challange! I got my BMs dress sorted our (she's in black too).
I think I've decided on black for my FGirls too, lots of people I've spoken to seem to think it'll be too morbid, maybe a bit too goth but I've tried other fabrics next to my dress and all the greys I've found just look dirty beside my dress, plus I love children in black & everyone should be able to get away with maybe just one tiny bridezilla-ish moment... shouldn't they?!