This is going to be so long, you'll die before you reach the end. It's interesting though, 'cause I'm sick in the head. But the end of it is where I talk about Richy, if that's what you really want to see
I'm not a big fan of writing these things I guess. Sure, I'll tell you about my meth-addicted cousin and mental problems but writing something happy? EW!
Well let's see... I'm Victoria aka Vic, age 27, 28 on Feb 2 if you're thinking of getting me something. I've dated a
long line of guys who need "fixing". At the time I didn't see that was why I was dating them. But as you get older you see what your tendencies are and why things aren't working out. I had a tendency to push away people who were actually genuine and caring. I dated a guy named Walter who was one of those people. He was very sweet, nice, sensitive, thoughtful, all of the things I was trying to change my boyfriends into at the time. But when you're as screwed up as I was you don't see these things. You say things like, "He's boring." So we stopped dating and went on our merry ways. We dated one more time, same thing. We broke up because I had to have someone exciting. We went on our merry ways again. But Walter was such a good person that he never made me feel like I'd done him wrong. He ALWAYS waved and shouted my name out the window when we'd see each other on the road. We lived in the same neighborhood so it was at least once a week. I was friends with a guy who was as caring as Walter, and squashed his soul too. He had the good sense not to keep after me though. I went on to have my first child with someone who wasn't ready to be a dad (and still isn't 8 years later).
Walter found someone who appreciated him and they dated a while. One night, almost 6 years ago, they were in an accident and Walter was killed. I had never felt so horrible in my life. This person was so kind to me, and loved me, wanted to work through anything with me, and I was a stuck-up bitch to him. I cried for...ever. It made me think about what I was doing to people who loved me. I was just steam-rolling over them, even my mother. I think somewhere inside of me I must have felt that I didn't deserve to have good things in my life because I constantly pushed the good things out.
Very shortly thereafter, I went on to have my 2nd child with someone who flicked on the light switch in the most negative way. He was everything your mother warned you about (except he never abused me) he was an ex-convict (drug trafficking) an addict and an alcoholic, a womanizer, etc. It's pretty obvious that I was effing my life up terribly at the time, and to have gotten pregnant by him *SMH* well, that changed things. He cheated on me and ended up getting the other woman pregnant. She was due 4 days after I was. At the time he was living with me - I was determined to make this work. But once I found that out, the one shred of self-esteem I did have came out. I don't remember how the other woman and I were in contact with each other, but we were. I called her up one afternoon and told her I was going to leave him at a gas station near her house and if she wanted him to come and pick him up. I gathered all of his belongings, put them in garbage bags, packed it into my car, and when he came home, boy was he ever surprised. But being the leech that he is, he didn't protest too much, except for the "I don't know why you're doing this" and "I love you, Vic" stuff here and there.
I didn't look back. I drove him an hour away from my house to somewhere in Ft. Lauderdale and dropped him off. I literally rid myself of him. I spent my pregnancy alone. In my 8th month I was sick as hell and had dehydrated myself again, causing contractions. I had no one to drive me to the hospital except my friend Toby whose girlfriend was none-too-pleased to have him rush out of the house to take me in the middle of the night and drop me off. He never heard the end of how he must be my baby's father LMFAO. Tales From the 'Hood, I swear. Anyway, as I lay there I was all alone and thinking about how I was so scared to be alone in the delivery room. What if my mom couldn't be there because of my other son? I prayed that I be sent an angel or someone who would be by my side in the delivery room. I said, "even if this person is only in my life for that one reason, I don't care." I was released the next day and met someone who would become my boyfriend not too long after that. He dated my pregnant butt. He was there for the delivery of my son, and the nurses all agreed that they'd never seen such a team before. We dated about 3 months after that, and I think I saw him once more before I never saw him again.
--- The Part Where Richy Comes In ---
I was starting to see that I always chose people who needed too much help, and that I needed some help myself. I eventually started to blind date - holy hell do I have some stories. One of my blind dates (via Love @ AOL) was Richy. We probably emailed and IM'd for a couple days before we spoke on the phone. Our first convo on the phone though, he got another call on the other line. So he clicked over and came right back and said, "That was my friend Santos." Santos isn't the most common name in the world, and I knew a Santos. He was a friend of some guy-friends I'd been hanging out with at the time. So I asked him, "Big head Santos?" LOL He said yes. "Santos that hangs around Toby and Victor?" Same guy! Then we realized Toby and Victor (brothers) were our friends. I was close friends with Toby and Richy was close with Victor.
It gets "weirder". He said he'd been at their house the weekend before, watching some movie. I'd been at their house too, but only for a second while Toby ran in to grab a tool to check my car battery with. I chose to sit outside in the car and wait. He came back out saying "Victor's in there with [insert male names that I didn't care about here] watching the same movie Richy had mentioned on the phone. So had I gone in that weekend, instead of waiting outside, I would have met Richy in person, before "meeting" him online a few days later.
Richy has been one of those people I would have pushed away if I was the same person I used to be. Our relationship hasn't been a bed of roses. I'd like to say we were "happily ever after" from there, but we both had our issues that should have been worked on when we were single. So we were dealing with them together instead. Lucky for him, I was Little Miss Psychology Courses and was able to point a few things out to him, while having things pointed out to me in my classes.
We took some time off together when my younger son was about 3 years old. And that was the first time my younger son met his biological father. He stuck around for a couple of weeks, but that was it. He moved on to the next woman who could give him all of her without asking questions. He came to visit once more during the summer, when Richy and I were back together, and that was that. My younger son has always known Richy to be his dad. The older one actually sees his dad. They both call Richy Papi, like his own daughters do. We are both dealing with issues that are deeply rooted personal issues, not dealing much with previous relationships, more like childhood issues - as you can figure out, my issues stem from being fatherless my whole life. Our relationship has required a lot of work. It has been a lot of fun too, but it wasn't a "love at first sight" thing.
So we're at the beginning of our 6th year together after overcoming many obstacles. Let's hope our marriage will be more relaxing
cru5h (caving in and doing one too)
LOL! Ok, couldn't resist! 
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