This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by bebe0315 on 9/08/05. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by bebe0315
I am having trouble with figuring out a basic wedding ceremony outline. I was working on my programs last night, and I realized that I have no idea in which order things are supposed to progress. Like, at which point do I have someone do a reading? When do we do our unity ceremony? Getting lost in the details over here!
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posted by Marge129
Here was my order:
Prelude
Seating of Mothers
Processional
Greeting
Declaration of Intention (the "I will" or "I do" part)
Response of the Families and People (instead of if anyone knows some reason these two should not be married)
Reading
Prayer
Scripture Lesson
Prayer
Exchange of Vows
Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Declaration of Marriage
Lighting of Unity Candle
Blessing of the Marriage
Dismissal with B lessing
The Embrace
Introduction
Recessional
ETA: Isn't your officiant giving you a copy of your ceremony? If not, I would ask for one so you know what order he/she wants to go in!
~Margie
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posted by syringa
Margie's order is fairly typical of what happens at a Protestant or civil ceremony. You do the unity candle or sand ceremony after the exchange of rings and declaration of marriage. You can do readings wherever they seem to best fit into the ceremony based on the words of the reading/readings.
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posted by feb-bride
Typically, the wedding officiant will help you figure all of this out.
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posted by labeadel
I should be getting my ceremony back from my officiant anytime now. I'll post again after I get mine from her. I wasn't quite sure where she would put our reading either.
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posted by TheaterDiva1
Here's the ceremony we used. The only difference between this and our ceremony is for us, my uncle (officiant) added a Hebrew blessing in the beginning.
Also, our mothers lit the tapers for the Unity candle as they were being seated.
Finally, where he said "appropriate time for music" would also be a good time for a reading (we had neither).
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Intro: Margaret and Steve have honored us to be with them as they exchange their wedding vows - recognizing a relationship born of love and sustained by love's companion - hope.
Gladly, we have responded to that invitation to witness this occasion and to share with Margaret and Steve their love and their intention to share a life together.
They understand that this sharing is not at the expense of either one's individuality; rather, it is their hope - and ours - that the uniqueness of each partner to this marriage is strengthened by the common bond.
Marriage, at its best, is a mutual commitment in which both parties delight in their unity and hold precious their intimacy - while at the same time respecting and protecting the other's need for solitude.
Such a relationship opens the way to constant adventure but not one which will always be without conflict. But, if differences are openly faced with love and respect, then the possibility of learning how to convert problems into opportunities will not be lost, and the marriage will prosper.
(To the couple): Margaret & Steve, there was kind of a new birth for you in the moment when you came to the recognition that your friendship was to be more than casual - that somehow, your lives had already become intertwined. There was a kind of new birth then, which pointed to a life united for all the days ahead.
And so, today you come before family and friends to proclaim your intent to be together - and that as sure as there is a future, you shall in some significant way, share that future together.
(Appropriate time for music, if any)
Brief message - 2-3 minutes
Generic prayer
Ceremony
Covenant: Steve and Margaret, will you now join your right hands as you express to each other, your wedding vows?
(You can write your own, if you choose) Please repeat after me: (/ is break to repeat preceding)
Margaret/Steve, I choose you above all others// to share my life with me.// I pledge to you my desire// to be with you and for you// and it is my intention// to share with you above all others: // my experience and my hopes,// my feelings and my life.// I want to be your husband/wife // to live with you and cherish you// and I promise to do my best // to fulfill this obligation.// I give you this ring// as a symbol of my vow.
Unity Candle (if you have mothers' candles earlier, then this is the time for yours.)
Earlier, the mothers of the bride and groom lit candles representing the two families that now become connected through this marriage. Now, with those candles, the new couple lights another candle - symbolic of this new unity through the holy bonds of marriage. Would you please light the unity candle.
Pronouncement: Inasmuch as you have agreed together to enter into this marriage and have given and received rings in token and pledge of your love, by the authority committed to me under the laws of New York, I now declare that Steve and Margaret are now husband and wife according to the ordinance of God and the law of the State..
You may kiss the bride.
Closing prayer: It is our solemn prayer that you now go into your life together. Where there is wind and rain, be shelter to the other; where there is cold, be warmth to the other; where the lonely stretches are, be companion and friend to the other. For, you are two persons who this day, have agreed to share the life before you.
Enter now into the days of your togetherness - and may those days be good and long - together. Amen.
Ladies & Gentlemen: I present ____________.
end - recess
-Maggie
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posted by syringa
If you are thinking of listing all of the elements of the ceremony in the program, you don't need to be that detailed. You can simply say things like:
Seating of grandparents and mothers
Processional
Charge to the couple
Exchange of vows
Exchange of rings
Lighting of the unity candle
Introduction of the couple
Recessional
If you want to communicate anything to your guests, you can do so after you list the ceremony information. You might say something like: "Please remain seated until the ushers dismiss you, then proceed to the reception at... while the wedding party finishes taking photos."
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posted by bebe0315
Thanks all! My officiant is great - but he says it is up to us and that we can have the ceremony proceed however we wish, which is very sweet of him, but I just need a starting point. Your suggestions/examples help a lot.
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posted by NovemberGal
Bebe and anyone else who is interested...
We just worked up our draft ceremony with our officiant this past weekend. He gave us copies of 3 ceremony forms from the New Zealand prayer book (Protestant--I think it's Anglican; whatever they call Episcopal over there) and I had my Episcopal Book of Common Prayer, and he had us pick and choose the pieces of the service we liked from each (we had to use the BCP vows b/c it's a US Episcopal church, everything else we could customize). I can scan any or all of this info and email it for those who are creating their own ceremonies if anyone's interested in some additional wording and options and such.
But our basic outline is:
Prelude
Seating of Parents & Grandparents
Bridal Processional
Introduction & Welcome
The Declarations & Affirmations
Collect (daily prayer)
First Reading (OT)
Second Reading (poem)
Hymn (possible, we haven't decided yet)
Third Reading (NT)
Homily (sermon)
Marriage Vows
Blessing & Exchange of Rings
Hymn (while we sign the register)
Prayers
Dismissal
Recessional
Postlude
Anyone who is interested in the New Zealand and/or US Episcopal services, post a note and I'll go ahead and scan it. If not, I won't bother--it's kind of long.
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posted by Kim&Bob2004
My wedding program is at our web site:
http://www.geocities.com/whiteshouse...ng_program.htm It might help some. Our pastor had never done a wedding before, we were his first, so he basically said he had certain things to do but otherwise we were to do what we wanted. I asked around, didn't know about this site then, and got the same answer from nearly everyone. My flutist/painoist was a big help though with some issues. We spent hours talking. Her help was invaluable.
Blessings!
Love,
Kim--WA
Wedding Ceremony Outline
Linear Mode
