This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by swim_a_lot on 3/28/05. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by swim_a_lot
Hi all, My flower girl is my niece, at this time she is only 7 months but at the time of the wedding she will be 13 months, we are planning for her to walk down the aisle (we are expecting her to be able to walk but we think she will have some trouble)
we were thinking maybe someone could hold her hand or walk with her, someone even had the suggestion of her sitting in something and being pulled (like a wagon) but im not sure and i am being to think maybe we should not have a flower girl but i know that i really want her to be in my wedding and it would hurt my brothers feelings if i didn't have her in the wedding i don't know, im confused and worried about the situation, if anyone can help, advice is welcomed!!!
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posted by HeatherR
13 months is way too young in my opinion. I think the wagon idea is cute - how old will the ring bearer be? Maybe he could be the one to pull her?
Heather
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posted by swim_a_lot
We are not going to have a ring bearer in our wedding, so he could not pull her but i do have younger brothers that are 7 and 9 so maybe they could participate in the wedding in that way!!!!
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posted by Holly
I also think 13 months is too young. Sometimes little ones at this age get "spooked" by strangers. I have an 11-month old daughter who would absolutely throw a fit if she was pulled in a wagon or even carried down an aisle full of people, music playing, and cameras clicking away. Every child is different though, and they all go through various degrees of separation anxiety at different ages (some don't seem to suffer at all!). Likely at 7 months she isn't going through this yet, but at 13 months she could very well be.
If you're unsure, could you explain to your brother that she's a little young and you don't want to upset her, having a bunch of people staring, talking, music playing etc?
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posted by wynelle
I wouldn't want my 13 month old being pulled in a wagon unless it had high sides or a car seat. I could just imagine a Red Rider wagon with the 5 inch sides, and an excited baby!! Accident waiting to happen. A 13 month old will have no memories of the wedding, and should probably best be kept in the "crying room," or at home.
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posted by munchkin
I have to agree with the others. Thirteen months is too young to be a flower girl, and I would gently and carefully explain that to your brother.
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posted by feb-bride
She will be way too young to be in the wedding.
I think your brother's being ridiculous by expecting her to be in the wedding. However, if he's really going to be difficult about it, you don't want to ruin your relationship over this. Could you give her an "honorary" title to appease your brother? She could be dressed in a pretty "flower girl-type" dress, but would not be part of the processional.
I have three kids, and I remember what it was like when they were babies. There is NO WAY I would have allowed a couple of kids to pull one of my babies around in a wagon. That's an accident waiting to happen.
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posted by SuzyBride
A wedding I went to this past summer had a baby flower girl that didn't even walk yet (brides neice). There was an older flower girl (about 7-8) who pulled the baby down the aisle in a wagon decorated with white fabric and tulle. It was so cute!!! Once they made it down the aisle, the dad discretely came and got the baby flower girl and took her to the nursery (mom was MOH). It worked out great and they of course didn't worry about putting her in the recessional. I think it is doable if you choose to do it. Just hope and pray the baby is in a good mood!!
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posted by swim_a_lot
Thank you SuzyBride for having a positive feedback for me, not that i don't appreciate all the feedback from everyone else, it's just i really really want my niece to be a part of my wedding and not to be left out and im glad that someone is letting me know that it HAS been done and CAN be done, i am definatly going to think about the wagon idea, and i know that it could be done because i have very nice younger brothers that i know would be EXTREMELY careful with thier niece and make sure she wouldn't fall out of the wagon or pull her too fast or anything like that. Thank you all for your feedback and especially suzybride.
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posted by feb-bride
There's a difference between pulling a wagon with a child who cannot walk and one who has just learned to walk. Chances are, your niece will be walking when she's 13 months old. Babies who can walk are very adventurous. She just might try getting out of the wagon while it's being pulled down the aisle.
Do what you want; it's your wedding. I can just tell you that I would have never allowed my kids to be in that situation, and I'm not an overprotective mom.
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posted by SuzyBride
If you do decide to do the wagon idea I have a suggestion. I would start pulling her around in the wagon from time to time a few weeks before the wedding. This way she is comfortable with it and it becomes more of a game of sorts. Whoever is going to pull her on the wedding day needs to be the one pulling her before hand so he gains her trust and knows it will be ok. Hope everything works out!
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posted by asyouwish
Do you want her to be your flower girl or just have a place of honor in your ceremony? You could always find her a cute dress and have her carried by a parent as a part of the processional. She will most likely be an honorary flower girl anyway. I don't think you can expect her to scatter rose petals.
www.asyouwishwed.com
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posted by swim_a_lot
We were thinking she is going to be a little to small to understand how to throw flower petals but she's still going to carry a basket, we were actually thinking about having a parent or in our case her grandmother carry her but we weren't sure if that would be appropriate, do you think that it would be okay for someone to carry her???
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posted by feb-bride
I think someone should carry her. I just think you're asking for trouble when you have a child pulling a baby in a wagon.
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posted by octoberblonde
I also agree with SuzyBride. Children are always such a special part of a wedding. And something you should not be willing to forgo just because it isn't easy. People always ooh and ahh over them. No one expects them to act perfect and by acting "like children" sometimes they create some of the most memorable moments. I also agree with the wagon idea and the "practicing" as long as the child pulling knows to go slow there should be no problems. Even if she HURLS herself out of the wagon I doubt the 8 inch drop would hurt her.
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posted by wynelle
It isn't an 8 inch drop. The manufacturers specifically put those "Hey, you dummy, don't... tags" on dry cleaner bags, wagons, hair curlers, etc just because infants/toddlers can and do get hurt.
Children can add a special touch to weddings, even if they behave like "children", but a 13 month old is still an infant. She should be carried by a responsible adult. It would be criminal (in more ways than one) if the wedding were disrupted by an injured child.
Many of the posters are parents, who probably have a little better experience base to draw on regarding infants, small children and the suddeness of injuries. "I was right there, I don't know how it happened." I hear that in the ER all the time from hysterical parents who were "watching" children who drown in pools, climb on chairs and fall off breaking arms, reach out an pet strange animals, etc.
Have an adult carry the baby if it is so importantg she be part of the wedding.
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