Taking his last name?? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

MarthaA562 · #1 10-11-2006, 07:27 AM

Just out of curiosity... How many of you are taking on your FH's last name??
a. Taking his last name
b. Hyphenating
c. Keeping your last name
My dad is worried because he has 3 daughters that his namesake will be gone forever. Joe and I have been together for over 4 years... It just seems like it would make it more official. Plus, we have the same initials... Its actually kinda cute;
Martha Jo Armstrong
Marvin Joe Alston

MarthaA562 · #2 10-11-2006, 07:28 AM

Just out of curiosity... How many of you are taking on your FH's last name??
My dad is worried because he has 3 daughters that his namesake will be gone forever. Joe and I have been together for over 4 years... It just seems like it would make it more official. Plus, we have the same initials... Its actually kinda cute;
Martha Jo Armstrong
Marvin Joe Alston

Emily · #3 10-11-2006, 09:00 AM

I have (yes we are already married - I know its confusing!) I think its romantic to take you husbands name! I think that it makes you more of a family because you share the same name!

Julz518 · #4 10-11-2006, 01:55 PM

I didn't vote b/c I am still struggling with this decision...
I use my maiden name professionally, my degrees and liscenses are all in my maiden name and I have accomplished a LOT with this name. My clients know me by this name - if I change it and an old client wants to hire me, they might have trouble tracking me down!

But I want to have the same last name as my children, b/c I don't want their to be any confusion who their parents are and that we are together. I think hyphenating would be ridiculous (Parsons-Fitzsimmons), not to mention HELL to write out! But I do already use P-F at the vets office, for example, so I've been getting used to it and am starting to consider it.

I think what I will most likely to is use my maiden name as my middle name, and continue to use it at work, but change my last name and all of my "official" documents - I'm just not sure how this affects my liscensures.

Kim&Bob2004 · #5 10-11-2006, 02:09 PM

I took Bob's last name, I never questioned not doing it. Besides, I lucked out I guess, when I painted (haven't since getting married!

) I used my initials and even after getting married they remain the same!

feb-bride · #6 10-11-2006, 04:00 PM

I kept my maiden name. I had always intended to change my last name when I got married, but once I actually got married I changed my mind. For one thing, my oldest child has my maiden name, and I didn't want him to feel like an outsider in his own family. For another thing, once I made the list of everywhere I'd have to go to change my name, I figured it wasn't worth it.

I don't think it bothers my husband unless someone (usually at work) asks him about it. One person even tried to imply that the reason I didn't change my name was because I was planning for a future divorce.

I don't believe that we're any less of a family because I have a different last name. It's your actions and behaviors that make you family; not your name. My husband does not wear a wedding ring and it doesn't make him any less married, so I don't believe that keeping my maiden name makes me any less married.

All that being said, if I'd gotten married at a younger age, and if I didn't have a child with my maiden name, I probably would have changed my last name.

AshyBekka · #7 10-11-2006, 04:05 PM

I'm changing mine. Since we're getting married seven months before I graduate from law school, I'll be able to change my name with the university, take the bar with my new last name, etc. etc. Professionally, I'll be able to start out that way. I don't know-I never questioned taking it, and am really looking forward to it. Besides, I've decided that my name with his sounds like a movie star-

Complicated Woman · #8 10-11-2006, 04:07 PM

I'm changing mine. While names don't make you a family, I think it is a symbol of Tom and I starting a family together and becoming one unit.

ohiobride · #9 10-11-2006, 04:14 PM

I'm most likely using two last names. My maiden name means a lot to me, and since we are not having children (we're OLD!) that won't be a huge issue. So, I'll be Ms. Ohiobride Maidenname Marriedname.

breezy · #10 10-11-2006, 04:42 PM

I'm going to change mine once I get the dang Marriage Certificate. However my name is hypenated this year on all the kids school stuff.
Their Mom has a habit of trying to create trouble and issues. We didn't want any if my ID had a different last name, so we listed me with a hypenated last name for this school year. All the court orders where the judge authorizes me have my old last name. SO..... it just made it easier for this year.

munchkin · #11 10-11-2006, 05:25 PM

I didn't vote because the option I'm using isn't up there. I am keeping my last name professionally since my name is an integral part of my profession. However, legally I will take his last name. So basically I'm pretty much doing both. I think it's the best of both worlds this way.

Robyn Lynn · #12 10-11-2006, 06:45 PM

I took his. I always planned on changing when I got married because I didn't like my last name(Matcher), but I don't much like the new one either

It's Schmidt, but most people say smith which is fine with me because it is easier and actually schmidt is German for smith.

Now, if you spell my first name wrong

........then that's a whole other story

(sorry, got off topic

)

labeadel · #13 10-11-2006, 06:54 PM

I took DH's last name.

Leslee&Jake · #14 10-11-2006, 10:17 PM

I will definately take his last name. I agree that it is romantic.

maroki13 · #15 10-12-2006, 12:57 AM

I took DH's last name. I knew I wanted to before we had children, because I want all of our family to have the same last name, and I figured I may as well change it now and start professionally with his last name (although all my degrees and certifications are in my maiden name still).

m_t_rose · #16 10-12-2006, 04:11 AM

I thought about hyphenating my name for a while but my FH's sister just did it and now hates it because it makes her name so long. Plus I have always had a fairly long last name and I will be shortning it to only 4 letters yay

raviepoo · #17 10-12-2006, 04:54 AM

This was (and is) an argument. My husband wants me to take his name. I'm a professional woman with a long history behind me under my own family name. I don't see any value in changing it at this point, other than to feed my husband's ego. It's an archaic custom, left over from a time when marriage was mostly an economic arrangement to transfer women from family to family as chattels.

I was feeling all euphoric at the wedding and blurted out, "Honey, if you really want me to, I'll change me name!" Big mistake. Now he expects it. I really, really don't want to do it, especially now that I've seen the enourmous pain in the butt it entails.

Heather · #18 10-12-2006, 05:01 AM

I took his last name, but if I ever become famous for anything, I'll probably hyphenate. You know, just so I can stick it to the kids I couldn't stand growing up.

munchkin · #19 10-12-2006, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raviepoo

I'm a professional woman with a long history behind me under my own family name.

If you read my post, you'll notice that I am keeping my name professionally. You don't have to go by your husband's name if you change it legally, you can still do your job under your maiden name.

AngelRoseFyre · #20 10-12-2006, 06:07 AM

I am changing mine for this marriage. My last marriage I hyphonated Rachel Halpern-DeHoff, then after the divorce, I changed it back to only Halpern.

This time I am changing it for three reasons.

1.) This time it just feels right, I can't explain it, it just doesn't bug me this time. I am closer to Ian thank I was to Mike, and i think that is makeing a huge differance

2.) We both have the same last initial, so it's no as drastic of a change form my maiden name.

3.) Rachel Halpern-Hodgen just sounds funny

feb-bride · #21 10-12-2006, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raviepoo

This was (and is) an argument. My husband wants me to take his name. I'm a professional woman with a long history behind me under my own family name. I don't see any value in changing it at this point, other than to feed my husband's ego. It's an archaic custom, left over from a time when marriage was mostly an economic arrangement to transfer women from family to family as chattels.

I was feeling all euphoric at the wedding and blurted out, "Honey, if you really want me to, I'll change me name!" Big mistake. Now he expects it. I really, really don't want to do it, especially now that I've seen the enourmous pain in the butt it entails.

I am with you on this. Like I said before, I thought I would change my name, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to change my name. I don't care if people call me by my husband's last name, but I will likely never change from my maiden name.

I am the "lone ranger" with my family and friends, though. I am the ONLY woman in my family to keep her maiden name. Sometimes, people even look at me like I have a third eye growing out of my forehead when I tell people that I didn't change my last name.

It's not like I kept an ex-husband's name over taking my husband's last name, so I don't see why it's a big deal.

breezy · #22 10-12-2006, 05:09 PM

It's funny because it is an archaic custum, and I'm usually the one that goes against the grain on these types of things.... but it felt like and did feed his ego. Since I'm married to the man, I'm OK with feeding his ego on occasion

whiddle · #23 10-12-2006, 05:42 PM

I took hubby's last name. I don't like hyphenating and wanted to have the same last name as my children. We contemplated just picking a new name but ended up just using his.

One of my degree's is in my maiden name but I'm about to earn a higher degree which will be in my married name. I still have somethings that I have to change from my maiden name to my married name and it's been almost 1.5 years from our wedding! OOPS! But, we are moving tomorrow so I'll take care of it when I change our address.

ohiobride · #24 10-12-2006, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

I am with you on this. Like I said before, I thought I would change my name, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to change my name. I don't care if people call me by my husband's last name, but I will likely never change from my maiden name.

I am the "lone ranger" with my family and friends, though. I am the ONLY woman in my family to keep her maiden name. Sometimes, people even look at me like I have a third eye growing out of my forehead when I tell people that I didn't change my last name.

It's not like I kept an ex-husband's name over taking my husband's last name, so I don't see why it's a big deal.

I agree! I'm definitely the "Lone Ranger" in my family, too! I'm a huge genealogy buff, so I probably attach a little more importance to maiden names than most people, but mine definitely means a lot to me. I responded above that I'd possibly hypenate or use two last names, but most likely will do the Maiden name on legal/professional stuff and married name socially. Since we aren't having children it really seems like a non-issue to me.

michaelsbride · #25 10-13-2006, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breezy

I'm going to change mine once I get the dang Marriage Certificate. However my name is hypenated this year on all the kids school stuff.
Their Mom has a habit of trying to create trouble and issues. We didn't want any if my ID had a different last name, so we listed me with a hypenated last name for this school year. All the court orders where the judge authorizes me have my old last name. SO..... it just made it easier for this year.

you havent gotten yours yet??? we got ours two days ago!

And i am changing my last name the next day off i have... it might take me a couple weeks to actually change my dl since i have to find time to get to FL to do that.