Hire security for the wedding b/c of inlaws??? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

DSMWife · #1 10-03-2006, 01:52 PM

I'm sure there has been a post reguarding this topic, but I just need other women's point of view.
My future inlaws are divorced and it has not been pretty since the divorce 6 years ago. Long story short dad has moved on and mom still is very angry towards dad (no reason just 'how she was treated' neither were perfect). Mom's the one who left (just picked up and walked out one day) and she and her family are the one's I'm worried about. My man lives with his dad so I see him more then mom (his sister lives with mom so we go there to hang out with her). On top of things mom wants us to invite her brother and kids but NOT his wife ('the family dispises her'). Mom bashes dad dad is afraid mom and her family will say something and he tends to have a temper. The thought has crossed my FH mind to just elope but we really want a wedding.
What I am looking for is some advice on how to handle mom. Mom blames all her and the kids problems on his dad.

We have decided to invite his aunt anyway just haven't told his mom. And we spoke with dad and his fiancée and as long as his ex's family doesn't talk to him he'll be ok. oh and there will be no alcohol at the wedding or reception. So that's not going to be a factor.

Marge129 · #2 10-03-2006, 02:21 PM

You don't think she'll be grown up enough to not start problems at her son's wedding?

DSMWife · #3 10-03-2006, 02:29 PM

I'm not sure. He had to go to the hospital one night. I took him but he called his mom to let her know what was going on. She didn't answer her cell phone because she was out and couldn't hear it. She then called his dad and left 4 messages at home calling him a bastard because HE wasn't there for his son, who is 23. It was for an ear infection that went bad, nothing life threatening.

Emily · #4 10-03-2006, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marge129

You don't think she'll be grown up enough to not start problems at her son's wedding?

Was just thinking the same thing - surely she is old enough to know that she needs to put aside any differences for the day??

Complicated Woman · #5 10-03-2006, 02:54 PM

If you're really reasonably concerned, I would, or I'd at least appoint someone you know and would invite anyway who is brawny to make sure no one gets out of line.

My dad is prepared to toss out a couple of people who are coming to the wedding who might make trouble -- not for me, but for other guests. I have an aunt who is mentally unstable who likes to make my grandmother cry -- and another aunt who is a disgusting bigot and never seems to be able to go anywhere without making nasty racist comments.

I hope they'll be able to suck it up at my wedding, but if they aren't, they won't be there for long, plain and simple.

DSMWife · #6 10-03-2006, 02:59 PM

We are hoping but even he's not sure she will behave. It's a shame I know. I'm even afraid to tell her that we are going to invite her sister in law. Oh and by the way WE are paying for the wedding and we have decided not to allow people to 'buy' guests way into the reception.

Sh@ks18 · #7 10-03-2006, 04:17 PM

Just have fh tell her that its your wedding and you're going to invite whoever YOU TWO want, and if she decides to not behave then she WILL get kicked out of her own sons wedding in front of the entire family so its up to her to decide what she wants to do.

feb-bride · #8 10-03-2006, 07:31 PM

I would appoint a strong groomsman as your "bouncer" for the wedding. I am not kidding about this, either.

AngelRoseFyre · #9 10-03-2006, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

I would appoint a strong groomsman as your "bouncer" for the wedding. I am not kidding about this, either.

Yup I agree with this one, or a friend who would be willing to keep an eye on her. If you think it is serious enough then maybe hire someone, but I would go with a friend / groomsman first if you think that will contain the problem.