This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by tanabannana87 on 3/23/04. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by tanabannana87
Do the groomsmen act as ushers? Or do I need to find ushers too? How many ushers?
Is there usually just one guest book attendent or two?
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posted by Marge129
Usually the GM are ushers. If you're having a large wedding guest list, you may want to have a few extra ushers... it all depends on how many GM you already have. At my wedding, there are 2 GM and I have 2 extra ushers (we have a guest list of 250). I'm not sure if the best man is counted as an usher, though... I think that all depends on the person (ours won't be an usher).
There is only one guestbook attendant.
Margie
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posted by catina
All the weddings I've been to (Canada), there have only been what we all call Ushers. They show the guests to their seats at the ceremony, and then they stand beside the Groom. The Best Man stays with the groom while waiting for everyone to sit. Just before the Wedding party enters, the Groom and Best Man stand at the front and then the Ushers join them and the rest of the wedding party then enters. Also, that would be an awful lot of men in the wedding party! But I have read on here that people to have both. I'm not sure what their functions are in that case.
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posted by HeatherR
I just realized that we don't have a guest book attendant. Is it really necessary? If so, could I have one of the people doing a reading be an attendant? (He's ten and my fiance's cousin.) Yes, he wants to do the reading too, lol.
Heather
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posted by Holly
No, it's not necessary -- but if you want your fiance's cousin to do it, he can.
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posted by Marge129
Is a 13 year old boy a good guest book attendant? I'm thinking if I ask my FH's lil brother to do that I'll avoid his Mom getting PO'd that he's not a GM.
Margie
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posted by Holly
Marge,
I think that if he's ok with doing it, it should be fine.
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posted by feb-bride
My brother HATED serving as a guest book attendant (had to do it at my cousin's wedding). He was about 12 or 13 at the time.
Sasha recommends 1 usher for every 50 guests. So, if you have 250 guests and 2 groomsmen, the groomsmen can serve as ushers and then you would have 3 more ushers.
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posted by Marge129
I mentioned something to my Mom about this whole "usher/GM" thing and she was talking to the girls she works with and they all cam to a conclusion... Most people seat themselves at a wedding now. Ushers (along with chivalry
) are a dying breed. I'm still going to have ushers available, but I doubt any of my guests will partake in their use.
Margie
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posted by feb-bride
I think that ushers are necessary if you're strictly having a "bride's side" and a "groom's side" at the church. Most weddings I attend nowadays don't have the bride's guests on one side of the church and the groom's guests on the other side of the church. People all sit together, with the exception of very special guests (e.g., parents and grandparents). These are the only guests I've seen specifically ushered to seats.
We actually did have an usher at our wedding (my step-brother) in addition to the groomsmen. It was really just so he could have a role in the wedding. He only "sat" my grandmother (my dad's mom), my husband's parents, and my step-mom. The only other person specifically seated at our wedding was my mom, and she was seated by my brother.
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posted by catina
Marge, what do groomsmen do? Do they not usher the guests their seat? What is their purpose? Do the ushers stand with the groomsmen, best man and groom? I'm so confused!!!! I prefer our way where I'm from. Ushers. That's it. No groomsmen. Well, I guess you could call them "Groomsmen" and have them do the ushering and have no "Ushers". The more I talk about it the more the word "usher" sounds weird!!
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posted by feb-bride
Catina - When you have groomsmen AND ushers, the ushers do not stand up at the front of the church with the groom. After they're done seating guests, they sit in the pews (or chairs) with the other guests.
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posted by Marge129
I agree feb-bride, we're not having a bride's side or a groom's side. If we did, I'd have 75% of the guests on my side because my family is so large. We're just going to let people sit where they want to.
Catina-
GM stand with the groom at the altar and in some occasions do, in fact, usher people to their seats. Sometimes GM and ushers are considered the same thing. But I'm having GM to stand with my FH, and ushers to... well... actually just so they have something to do with the wedding... I doubt they'll do anything. The whole reason they're not GM is because they're not too excited about the wedding, but they're family so they have to have something to do (yuk). The ushers won't even be wearing tuxes. I hope I didn't confuse you more!!
Margie
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posted by catina
Got it. I was under the impression that they all stood up with the groom! Then you would have, let's just say, 1 MOH, 4 BM = 5, 1 BM, 4 GM, 4 Ushers = 9. Talk about lopsided! But, I understand now! Thanks!
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posted by wynelle
Even if there isn't a "bride's side" and a "groom's side," there may be people you want to sit in the "family pews." Without ushers, you can't be sure the right people (favorite aunts, uncles, more grandparents than fit on the first row, divorced parent and their spouse) get seated there, unless these people come really, really early. At a wedding I attended recently, the step-grandmother of the bride did not tell anyone who she was. We hadn't met her because she didn't come to any family functions and the bride's family didn't particularly like her. She seated herself in the last pew. AFTER the wedding started, she stood up and demanded to be escorted down the aisle to her husband (who had escorted the bride.) Not a good place to be.
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posted by teddy6
We are not having ushers - no "bride/groom" side, so people can seat themselves. We are reserving the 1st rows for family using tuille or ribbon or something. But we are having a small wedding - approx. 75 and in the reserved rows will just be our parents.
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posted by allierw26
I guess it really does depend on the size of the wedding...my wedding only has about 50 people, and I'm not having ushers either. In my case, there are an equal number of groomsmen/bridesmaids, so they just escort each other. With a small wedding, everyone is close friends and family, so seating is not terribly important...but I can easily see how with a big wedding things can get out of control!
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posted by christines_flowers72
We are having a small wedding, about 60 people total. However, we have several close friends, and our wedding party on the groom's side consists of bm, groomsman, and then i guess 3 ushers. It's a little much, but one of the ushers is only 14 and will be in charge of escorting his grandmother out of the church (he's our son) and helping out the flower girls and ring bearer with bubbles, guest book and programs prior to the wedding. Yes, ushers are dying out, but I still think they add a finishing touch. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. After all, it's your day and you can pretty much set it up any way you want, especially nowadays when traditions of the past are not so traditional any more.
Christine_flowers72
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posted by Sunkiss30
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Got it. I was under the impression that they all stood up with the groom! Then you would have, let's just say, 1 MOH, 4 BM = 5, 1 BM, 4 GM, 4 Ushers = 9. Talk about lopsided! But, I understand now! Thanks!
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and a partridge in a pear tree!!!
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posted by skinnard
My daughter it getting married and he FH picked the groomsmen, of course. She asked if her first cousins could be ushers. She is close to them but they live out of state so FH does not know them that well. He was fine with it and the cousins were honored to be asked. They are my sisters boys, and 1 is my husbands sister's boy. We were all pleased to have them included in the wedding. It is just another way to share the day with your family!
ushers vs groomsmen
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