He Wants Black... - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

DragonYoga · #1 09-24-2006, 01:00 PM

Y'all know I'm having a chocolate/cream theme for my wedding. My dress is white (natch) and the BMs' dresses are a rich chocolate brown.

Problem? FH wants to wear a black tux. What do you girls think of a black tux with the BMs' dark chocolate dresses?

Crystal and Tommy · #2 09-24-2006, 02:21 PM

I want to say yes he can wear a black tux if he wears a brown tie with it! I have seen that on Davids Bridal website...and it looked good to me!

lulamae · #3 09-24-2006, 04:33 PM

I think that'll look fine, but I was never against black and brown worn together.

555Ann555 · #4 09-24-2006, 04:54 PM

I think I'd definately prefer a black tux to a brown one if that was the choice...You can tie the look together with the details.

Plus in 90% of the photos he'll either be next to you or his GM, not the BM

breezy · #5 09-24-2006, 05:06 PM

I've said it before and will say it again... DF's shouldn't be matching the BM's. He should be matching/complimenting you.

He's not part of the wedding party, he's the GROOM!!!

I use to manage a Tux shop and always recommend that the groom wear something different than the groomsmen. In this case I would have him wearing white or a totally different color than brown if the gm are wearing brown.

Think about all the pics you will have that are just the 2 of you. Then think of the party pics. Does he really want to look like the rest of the guys?

sparklesweetie · #6 09-24-2006, 05:56 PM

Black would be just fine.

maroki13 · #7 09-24-2006, 06:03 PM

Personally, I don't like mixing black and brown at all. Someone had a good point however that he won't be standing next to the BMs too much.....what are the groomsmen wearing?

Quote:

I use to manage a Tux shop and always recommend that the groom wear something different than the groomsmen. In this case I would have him wearing white or a totally different color than brown if the gm are wearing brown.

Think about all the pics you will have that are just the 2 of you. Then think of the party pics. Does he really want to look like the rest of the guys?

I had a really bad experience like this when we went tux shopping. The lady we were working with told us that the groom had to wear something different, but we looked through all the options and couldn't find anything different he wanted to wear or that he wanted the groomsmen to wear, so he ended up wearing the same thing as the groomsmen. The way she said "that just isn't done" pissed me off, and I commented that I wasn't going to marry the wrong person because they were all wearing the same tux.

And in our wedding photos, there are only a few of the entire wedding party together, and it is easy to tell who the groom is....the one in the middle with his arm around me.

So I think it is perfectly fine if the groom wants to wear the same thing as the groomsmen....you didn't mention what they were wearing.

clairon13 · #8 09-24-2006, 06:17 PM

rickey and all his GM wore the same thing w/ teh exception of vests (his was ivory and theirs mocha) and they wore black; we had chocolate gowns. i thought it looked just fine.

AngelRoseFyre · #9 09-24-2006, 06:23 PM

I agree. I think it would look fine, especially if you could add chocolate and/or cream accents. Like maybe, Brown tries and cream vests, or visa versa, or something simialar.

Crystal and Tommy · #10 09-24-2006, 07:38 PM

Also remember that his decision needs to matter because this is both of you guys wedding!!!

breezy · #11 09-24-2006, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroki13

Personally, I don't like mixing black and brown at all. Someone had a good point however that he won't be standing next to the BMs too much.....what are the groomsmen wearing?

I had a really bad experience like this when we went tux shopping. The lady we were working with told us that the groom had to wear something different, but we looked through all the options and couldn't find anything different he wanted to wear or that he wanted the groomsmen to wear, so he ended up wearing the same thing as the groomsmen. The way she said "that just isn't done" pissed me off, and I commented that I wasn't going to marry the wrong person because they were all wearing the same tux.

And in our wedding photos, there are only a few of the entire wedding party together, and it is easy to tell who the groom is....the one in the middle with his arm around me.

So I think it is perfectly fine if the groom wants to wear the same thing as the groomsmen....you didn't mention what they were wearing.

I'm not say it can't and shouldn't be done. The fact is it IS done.
Just that they can stand out by wearing a different color that matches the bride not the party.
Alot of people have the groom match the wedding party. As we all know, anything goes nowdays. Heck DH didn't even wear a tux

**I** like it when the groom stands out. **I** like it when the groom and bride coordinate.

In the given senario, if the Gm were to wear a solid sage vest and the groomsmen wore a sage print vest it would look good and still be different.

JMO, I'm sorry if I came across wrong. I still like it when the groom compliments the bride and not the wedding party, but that's just me.

Another idea if he wears say an ivory vest is to get 2 or even 3 different colored hankes (wedding colors) and fold them in the pocket. It can get busy looking though if he wears a bout. too. Just another idea.

maroki13 · #12 09-24-2006, 08:48 PM

breezy.....it wasn't a rant at you, just a rant in general about the tux experience I had. I believe that you can do anything you want (brides and grooms I mean) because it is YOUR wedding. You shouldn't have to do something a certain way you don't want to just because tradition or etiquette says it should be done that way.

I'm happy with the decision I made and I'm not at all put off that you expressed a different opinion than mine. I was simply trying to tell her that although lots of people do it that way, she can really do whatever she wants. After all, it is her wedding.

DragonYoga · #13 09-25-2006, 02:10 AM

So the general conseus is it IS ok for the black tux... I'll do my darnest to get him to wear a dark brown bowtie or something!

I know it's his wedding too, but getting his input is like pulling teeth, lol.

I'm not sure yet what he wants his GM to wear for the wedding...But that'll come along soon enough!

Heather · #14 09-25-2006, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroki13

So I think it is perfectly fine if the groom wants to wear the same thing as the groomsmen....you didn't mention what they were wearing.

We had a similiar experience. Mike and all the GMs were in black tuxes with our tarten as the cumberbun and ties. The only diff. in Mike's tux was that he had tales and wore three baby cream roses on his bout, the BMs had one.

I think you can get away with black, brown and cream as your colors. I would have the boys in the black tuxes with the cream shirts/ties underneath though.

Complicated Woman · #15 09-25-2006, 04:03 AM

We're also having brown BM dresses. Guys are wearing black tuxes. After Hours formal wear has tux vests in the color "truffle" that are done in sort of a diamond pattern with black and brown thread. It's very subtle and looks really sharp, IMO, with the black tux. I'll grab a pic, H/O...

ETA: Here's a link, you can select a black tux and a truffle vest to see.

http://www.afterhours.com/create_a_tux.html

AshyBekka · #16 09-25-2006, 02:55 PM

Just chiming in-we're doing brown dresses and black tuxes! Only three of the groomsmen will be in tuxes either way though, since Cliff and four of the GM will be in uniform. I'm not big on doing a whole lot of "matchy" stuff so it never even occurred to me!

DragonYoga · #17 09-25-2006, 03:32 PM

whoohoo, CW! That store link you gave me, has a location at a mall near me!

I think I'll ask FH to go there with me next week...

Complicated Woman · #18 09-25-2006, 04:17 PM

DY, glad I could help!

I was wary of mixing black and brown at first too, but when I actually saw it in the store I thought it looked very rich and beautiful. So, those are the vests our GM will have.

Tom will be wearing the same Geometrics vest and tie, only in ivory. He's going to look yummy!

feb-bride · #19 09-25-2006, 04:59 PM

I didn't have brown dresses, but I think that the black tuxes will look nice. When I got married, the guys didn't match their vests to the bridesmaids. They all wore black tuxes with black vests. I'm not a fan of having the vests/ties match the color of the bridesmaids' dresses. I prefer men in classic black tuxes with black accessories.

ETA: My husband wore a different tux than the rest of the guys, but that was his idea. He wore a tux with tails, and the rest of the guys wore tuxes without tails. My husband wore a white vest (the groomsmen, like I said above, wore black vests). My dad's tux was also a little different, but that's because he owns his own tux.

labeadel · #20 09-25-2006, 06:14 PM

I see what Breezy is saying, but we just had DH wear a different color vest and tie than the rest of the guys, and his tux was a nicer one too (but you couldn't tell they were that different, IMO). I say have the GM wear brown vest and ties with their black tuxes and then the groom could wear a black or white/ivory (whatever your dress will be) vest and tie.

DragonYoga · #21 09-26-2006, 12:55 AM

Amy, that is a good idea...! Hmmm...

labeadel · #22 09-26-2006, 01:33 AM

Just for reference, here's how all the tuxes looked at my wedding:

MarthaA562 · #23 09-26-2006, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DragonYoga

Y'all know I'm having a chocolate/cream theme for my wedding. My dress is white (natch) and the BMs' dresses are a rich chocolate brown.

Problem? FH wants to wear a black tux. What do you girls think of a black tux with the BMs' dark chocolate dresses?

I just went through the same thing with my FH. I wanted brown, and he absolutely hates brown and black together. So, I changed the color of the dresses (not what I wanted to do, but that is what compromises are all about, right?). I think also that David's Bridal has done an excellent job incorporating black and brown so that it looks very nice (just could not convince him. You could also try gold on him... Or a light blue or aqua. Check out these pics:

At after Hours, you can design your own tux. Check out some other tux shops in your area and they may have some good ideas. My FH is stubborn and refused any of these ideas... so I just redid all the bridesmaid dresses to make him happy (Its his wedding too!!!) Apparrently according to the new trends, chocolate and aqua/light blue are in, but I love the way they incorporate the chocolate with the black.... Its your wedding... And yes, you can wear white shoes after labor day!!

DragonYoga · #24 09-26-2006, 12:40 PM

Oooooo I love the top one! That chocolate vest... *purrrr*

I'll access this post on my mobile phone and show him.

AshyBekka · #25 09-26-2006, 01:11 PM

Dragon-Is it the "vest" you're purring about or that hot male model???