I NEED HELP, Autumn wedding, crazy fiance!! - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

MarthaA562 · #1 09-23-2006, 05:29 AM

I recently bought a Monique Luo dress with organza lace in ivory for my wedding. My veil and dress have gold tones and accents. I wanted to do brown bridesmaid dresses.... The problem is my fiance... He insists on wearing black tuxes (and hates black and brown combo), so told me I cant have brown dresses. He wants to wear a light blue or silver tie and black suit!! This does not go with my dress or the season!!! I compromised with the brown dresses, and went with a claret satin, but he insists on wearing silver ties. HELP ME!!! He should not care about this so much... Silver will totally clash with my dress. It is very hard with all the lace and specks of color in my dress to find a fall color.... he is not working with me, even said that I should have consulted his tastes before I bought my dress!!!!!! If anyone has any suggestions about how we can work out a color theme... I want gold throughout the ceremony (we are having a jazz band, and I want gold table runners with lots of ivory candles). Please help me out here!!!

Martha
Here is my dress, except in ivory:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_g...&prodgroup=129

munchkin · #2 09-23-2006, 05:42 AM

Your dress is gorgeous!
Anyway, as for advice, I unfortunately cannot think of anything off the top of my head. However, it would be good to keep in mind that it is his wedding too, so he definetely gets some say in the colours, and yes, he is allowed to "care this much" about them.

Welcome to Pash!

Kim&Bob2004 · #3 09-23-2006, 06:01 AM

I agree. He should have some say, but most men, my DH included, basically leave it all up to the bride for that stuff, it's generally something the bride alone dreams about from a young age, and men giving it hardly a thought at all. Or that is what I have witnessed anyway....... Maybe he is having a groomzilla moment?

When is the wedding? Is there time to just relax and pray he reconsiders?

Welcome to Pash and I love your dress!

MarthaA562 · #4 09-23-2006, 06:04 AM

It is his wedding, and I want him to feel comfortable. I was thinking about a claret or some other jewel toned colored bridesmaid dresses, and maybe he can just go with traditional black.... I originally wanted red dresses (my FAV color), but clashes with the dress... I love the dress, but with all the detail in it, it is hard to make everone happy...

There is a year... but everywhere in Charleston, SC you have to book a year ahead of time, including florists. This is where the color of the dresses are going to matter. Yes, most men dont care, and I have given him plenty to take charge of (catering, music, negotiating, etc.), but as far as decor and what we decided would be my end of the deal, I get a no for every idea. Grrr... But, we have been together for over four years, and will get through this too!!!

Crystal and Tommy · #5 09-23-2006, 06:21 AM

Is there anyway for you to incorporate the colors that he wants to wear with the bridesmaids dresses...I know that davids bridal might be able to help in that area because of the different seperates that you can purchase that would incorporate 2 or 3 colors to make it look perfect?? Just a suggestion! Let us know how everything turns out!

clairon13 · #6 09-23-2006, 07:30 AM

i agree w/ you and the others.... he should have a say as it's his day too (and i remember when i got married--i would've killed for an opinion from my groom!!), BUT i can't imagine blue and silver w/ your gorgeous dress in ivory/gold...... would his mom be willing to set him straight on colors?? ok, that might not be a great idea, as well as i don't know how well y'all get on.... could you go w/ a blue jewel tone or navy as it's more fall-fitting? nay and gold could go quite nicely depending on how you accented it.

sorry i'm also not more help! welcome to pash!!!

Complicated Woman · #7 09-23-2006, 02:54 PM

First of all, welcome to Pash!

As for your fiancé, I wouldn't have personally minded FH being so involved! It's pulling teeth to get my man to think about anything other than police academy right now, so remember, you could have the other extreme!

I think you CAN do silver and gold both as accents as long as you are consistent with them. They look lovely paired together and I see it done a lot in fashion lately.

breezy · #8 09-23-2006, 05:33 PM

I managed a tux shop for 7 years.

While I fully believe in personal expression. TRADITIONALLY (which I personally am not big on) says that the groom should compliment the bride. In this situation I would advise him to wear an ivory vest. Have you been to a tux shop yet to see what's available? Now days the large ones have fantastic selections. If you can't find anything locally, check online? Even ebay will have vest combos for sale. Just make sure you are buying an adjustable one, or if it has the full back it's the right size.

breezy · #9 09-23-2006, 05:35 PM

In one of your post you stated that red clashed with your dress. I'm having a hard time imagining it clashing.

Is it possible to go back to the red?

MarthaA562 · #10 09-23-2006, 05:45 PM

There are pink details in the dress, I have held up red to it.... Sadly, no, red will not go

It think ivory is a great idea as well, mentioned it to him, and he said that ivory and white clash.... So we are back to square one. Ladies that have men not involved, YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!! I put mine in charge of catering, jazz music band (he is a jazz nut), and the honeymoon. With everything else that I spend hours researching, he takes on look and says no! But, we have a year, and usually I am known for wearing the pants, but I have been sensitive to his feelings and have backed off.
So, right now I am thinking a burgundy bridesmaid dress and him in either all black or go to After Hours and pick a nice darker gold patterned vest with a gold tie. I am incorporating gold into the rest on the reception....
Anyways,
I'll keep ya up to date

AngelRoseFyre · #11 09-23-2006, 10:23 PM

I can't help you, cuz I suck with colors. But good luck with finding the right look, and keep us posted.

MarthaA562 · #12 09-24-2006, 04:33 AM

Ok, so I think that I am going with a metallic sage from Mori Lee

along with this (my gown):

So, now, what should he wear???

AngelRoseFyre · #13 09-24-2006, 06:05 AM

Oh pretty!!!! I really like that!

breezy · #14 09-24-2006, 05:14 PM

Ivory or gold to compliment your dress! You don't want him to look like a GMen.

Crystal and Tommy · #15 09-24-2006, 07:28 PM

But in my instance, I asked my FH what he wanted to wear...he told me that he didn't want to stand out that much and that he really wanted to match his Groomsmen...I was like...Are you sure?....and he said positively sure! (I kept on asking him to make sure and he kept giving the same answer..which is that he wanted to wear what the groomsmen were wearing) I was like okay! Because this is the one time he has given his opinion in something, everything else he is like whatever you want to do is fine with me...so I am going to do exactly what he says! His bout will be totally different from the other Groomsmen!