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posted by UCF_bride
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when i posted the original post, I wasn't saying i was upset and wanted sympathy...me and my FH are having around a 15K wedding, all of which we are paying for, and i'm fairly happy for that bc that means that my mother, father, or anyone else can't pressure me into something regarding my wedding....my only purpose for the post was to see people's thougts...not a controversy, but a debate rather....I'm a college student, debates help people get both sides of the story :-)
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and...i think if weddings weren't important...everyone would just go to the courthouse and elope...weddings themselves are just part of the fun of marriages...
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posted by syringa
Even when parents are paying the couple doesn't always get their dream wedding. Parents are on budgets just like everyone else. As a coordinator, the biggest weddings that I plan and coordinate are usually for older couples (late 20s or early 30s) who are paying for everything themselves. They both have good jobs and often have a house as well. They are willing to sell stock or take out a loan to do things their way. When parents pay, they usually give the couple a budget to work with.
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posted by clairon13
fh and i are footing all of it... he will probably contribute a bit more b/cs he is much more stable financially than i am, and neither of our parents want to contribute, which is ok. (my mom actually raised me and my sisters saying she wouldn't help pay for cars, prom dresses, weddings, etc b/cs there were 3 of us, and she didn't want to help one and then be unable later to contribute for anyone else... hasn't always worked out that way, but it was a neat principle i suppose!) anyway, i am trying HARD to keep the budget down for reasons beyond what i am able to spend but b/cs i've always felt it crazy to spend thousands and thousands of dollar on a day... at the end of the day, i just want to be married, not just have had a smashing party...
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posted by Lilianevii
My parents are paying for the majority. my FH's parents are just paying for the RD. I have paid for a lot of small things myself without telling my parents though. I don't want to put a financial burden on them.
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posted by bebe0315
Weddings are definitely one of the fun parts about getting married. FH and I knew that we wanted a wedding, so we waited until we were in a position financially to fund it. If at this point we didn't have the money to do it, I would be happy to run off to Vegas with him and only invite immediate family (siblings, parents and grandparents.)
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posted by enelvan
I got my heart set on a destination wedding (thanks guys) so ew moved the date from Jan 2006 to Jan 2007. But honestly, I'm just happy to be marrying him. I understand about your dream wedding, but the important thing is that you are marrying your dream man. Seriously. Just step back, take a bit of time, and appriciate him. When you calm down about the wedding thing a bit, it'll come to you. Also, if you want to get married sooner than you can afford, have you considered a small loan? I wouldn't recomend you start your marriage out in debt, but it could be an option.
§-Enelvan-§
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posted by syringa
To go along with this post, in our paper today there is an article on the cost of weddings with results of a national survey that indicates that today only 25% of weddings are financed entirely by the bride's parents. That is down from 27% two years ago, so it seems that more and more couples are helping finance their wedding or paying for it themselves.
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posted by NovemberGal
Syringa, that makes sense considering the average age at which both men and women are marrying has been going up. I would think, the more established (financially and career-wise) a couple is, the more likely they are to pay some or all of their expenses, whether their choice or their parents'. FH and I knew we were going to contribute, even though my dad was prepared to pay for all of it (I was worried about his finances more than he was!), and my FILs offered on their own to help out too, so we're splitting it three ways. It means we can have a pretty good size budget and still not have anyone paying too much.
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posted by HeatherR
I agree with you as well. I think MUCH of it has to do with the fact women are marrying later in life.
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posted by e-star
I guess I'm pretty lucky! My parents are paying for pretty much all of it, and anything over their generous budget, my FH and I are footing. Although I'm older, I've been in school so don't have the finances, although I wish I did as it would make the wedding planning easier. In any case, my parents paid for half of my brother's wedding even though they didn't like my SIL so guess I shouldn't feel guilty about them paying for mine! And they like my FH!
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posted by cru5h
FH and I are, wait...just FH since I have almost no income, yeah - he's paying for it all. He's lucky to have a low-maint. girl like me though
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posted by kelly198321
My mother/step-father and father/step-mother gave us a certain amount to spend as we want, if we go over that amount (which we did) we pay the rest. His mother is paying for the rehearsal dinner and our honey moon to Las Vegas!
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posted by krazikrys
My parents are paying for the majority of it. Anything over their budget (which we won't be certain of until later on ~ dad's job varies) is being paid for from my grandparents..God bless them!
FH parents aren't paying for anything besides the rehersal dinner nor did they offer (that's another story) but they did make a comment about my parents not asking! Okay, call me crazy, but IMO I am not asking someone for that kind of money! Sorry, but that's a huge ordeal going on right now....I can't wait for September to come, then I will be a happy girl!
~ Krys
who's paying
It was a very sweet gesture, if nothing else. So, yeah, that's the breakdown.
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