freaking out - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

LadyFaile · #1 09-13-2006, 07:37 AM

i'm going over my budget, and it's a little higher than i first planned for. i was expecting that somewhere along the way but we've had some unexpected bills and expenses and it looks like i'm going to be a bit short.

i need ideas on cutting back. i've scrimped as much as i can think of but maybe you folks will have some ideas i hadn't thought of yet.

we're going to Maui to get married, there's no compromising on that. the flight and airfare are settled, we've gotten the best possible deal there. i've budgeted quite a bit for food and outings while we're there, i think it's best to overbudget for that stuff, it would suck to wind up broke halfway through the trip and not be able to do anything fun.

reception-wise (back home) it's very casual but for about 300 people. no sit-down dinner, just fingerfoods. we're making it all ourselves, just going to buy stuff to make up some platters. the hall we got is the only one in town that will accomodate the number of people and does not require a catered dinner. so can't budge on that. the dj we're getting a good deal on because he works with my FBIL. the decorations and flowers are cheap, fake flowers and leis, some seashells, dollarstore glass bowls and floating candles for centrepieces, some tulle to dress up the tables a bit and that's pretty much it. 2 friends got married last month and used leis so they're giving us their extras, as well as some napkins and other odds and ends we can use.
a friend is getting us a deal on a hotel room for after the reception, a cousin's boyfriend is getting us a deal on a rental car for in Maui. our wedding planner there gets us a 10% discount on outings. a friend will take most of the photos, another friend is making the invitations, thank you cards etc.

i just don't know where else i can scrimp, or how else i can save up some extra in the meantime. we're having a buck and doe but i'm not sure how much we can make off that.

the only thing i can think of is that our travel agent has a thing that you can pay after the trip instead of before, i'm going to call and find out how much time you get or if you can pay in installments or something.
my mom's helping a lot with the little things like decorations, she paid the deposit on the hall, but she can't help much more than that financially. she's doing a lot to help physically though which is great, it'll save me money if she helps me put the food etc together instead of paying someone to do it. so i consider that her contribution. the MIL is helping a bit financially but has another son getting married 4 months after us so she can't do much there.

i have some small hope that my grandparents will offer to help, but i can't ask them all i can do is wait and see if they offer.

panic panic panic

why did i decide to do my budget this late at night, i'll never get to sleep now

AshyBekka · #2 09-13-2006, 01:21 PM

The most obvious place I could see is the number of people at the reception when you return-300 is a lot! Even if you could cut 50 or so, you'd probably save a substantial amount on invitations, food, beverages, centerpieces/table arrangments, etc. etc. It sounds to me otherwise like you've already booked/purchased a great deal of the materials you need so you're locked in. At five months til, you might want to go over your guest list again, and see if you can make some cuts? I mean, I know that's hard, but it may help you. Also, are you inviting 300 or expecting 300? If you're inviting 300, you may end up saving money on the fact that several may not be able to show up, but that's obviously something that you won't know until you get responses back after invitations go out.

Good luck!

Emily · #3 09-13-2006, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AshyBekka

The most obvious place I could see is the number of people at the reception when you return-300 is a lot! Even if you could cut 50 or so, you'd probably save a substantial amount on invitations, food, beverages, centerpieces/table arrangments, etc. etc. It sounds to me otherwise like you've already booked/purchased a great deal of the materials you need so you're locked in. At five months til, you might want to go over your guest list again, and see if you can make some cuts? I mean, I know that's hard, but it may help you. Also, are you inviting 300 or expecting 300? If you're inviting 300, you may end up saving money on the fact that several may not be able to show up, but that's obviously something that you won't know until you get responses back after invitations go out.

Good luck!

I agree with all that Ash has said!

Complicated Woman · #4 09-13-2006, 02:09 PM

Cut back the guest list. 300 people is a HUGE wedding. Good luck!

Julz518 · #5 09-13-2006, 02:43 PM

I can total sypathize if you don't want to cut the guest list - mine is also about 300 people, and a lot of local family, so it's hard not to invite them.

I couldn't find it in your post, but when is your wedding (reception) again? If it is in the spring/summer, have you looked into renting a picnic pavillion? That might be cheaper than the hall, and since it's not a sit-down dinner, you don't really need seating for 300 - though maybe you can borrow tables form a church or school to put on the lawn if the weather is nice.

Another idea is to "stagger" your reception and have it at a smaller venue, or even someone's home - esp since your guests won't actually be attending your wedding and therefore won't expect to attend the reception at a given time. Maybe you could make a weekend out of it - Friday night with his family, Saturday morning with friends, Saturday night with your family... or something like that. This method might be a little exhausting for you, but it would also insure you get to spend a little quality time with everyone.

Besides cutting your guest list, the only place you can scrimp is on items that haven't been bought - what don't you need? Have you bought all the decorations, do you really need them? Are their cheaper options or can you rent decorations for cheaper? What about the food - can you cut your budget there? Maybe just have a cake and punch reception?

Good Luck!

Yelycrazygirl · #6 09-13-2006, 02:52 PM

The only thing that can come to my mind is the same thing, cut your guest list, unless you already bought a bunch of things that can’t be returned. It seems like you did a good job with the rest of the things, so there’s no way to change that. Try to think about on what you don’t need and get don’t use it, or return it. Hey good luck.

birdie · #7 09-13-2006, 02:58 PM

I agree about the guest list. 300 people is a lot. Along with what Julz said, maybe you could make the reception more of an open house where people can come and go as they please. That way, you may not need as much food? Just a thought...

LadyFaile · #8 09-13-2006, 05:27 PM

lol yes it's 300 local family members. i'm not cutting anyone i'm inviting from my side, because there are very few of them. the rest are all my FH's family and they are a big, traditional french-canadian family, very close-knit and would all be very insulted if we didn't invite some, even if they're just second or third cousins.
i don't know how many will show up, we're inviting 300-350 i think, my MIL is giving us a list, and my mom is making a list for my side. i can't say for sure that 300 will show up but i wouldn't be surprised if they did. the few family members i invite for my side probably won't because they live pretty far away, i'm just inviting them to be polite. i'm also expecting some friends to bail out, but other than that i think most of them will go.

so yeah the guest list is sorta non-negotiable as well. we'll see how many replies i get back though, i might be able to cut back on some food as we get closer to the date.

it is a lot of people, this is why we're getting married in Maui lol. if we had the wedding my way at home we'd have 300 people breathing down our necks making sure it gets done their way, and they'd be upset when it didn't. this way everyone will be equally upset but they have no say in it so they'll grumble but get over it.

my FH's family is from a township of about 1000 people outside of my hometown. he's related to most of them. i'm marrying a village

LadyFaile · #9 09-13-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by birdie

I agree about the guest list. 300 people is a lot. Along with what Julz said, maybe you could make the reception more of an open house where people can come and go as they please. That way, you may not need as much food? Just a thought...

it sorta is. it's basically a big hawaiian themed party. there are finger foods later in the evening, the thing doesn't start til 8pm. we'll do a sand ceremony and a couple quick speeches, then it's just drinking, dancing and mingling for the rest of the night, with food put out around 10 and left out for people to pick at all night (all cold stuff). FH wants to have a hula contest lol(i have to start practicing). so yeah because it's so casual i'm sure people will be coming and going all night. i've overbudgeted for food because i'm not sure exactly what it will cost yet. but my mom knows someone who works at a deli, she said "platters are so overpriced, let me know how many people you're having and i'll tell you how many lbs of everything to buy to make them yourself"
so that's what we're doing. we just have to figure out when and where to put them together so they'll survive long enough and stay cold etc. couple plates of DIY sandwich stuff, cheeseplates, pickle plates, veggie and fruit platters, maybe a salad of some kind, and a small dessert table, and that's it.
we're really cheaping out on the reception because the trip is so expensive

breezy · #10 09-13-2006, 10:49 PM

If you can't cut the guest list

Cut the DJ... burn your own CDs and use your own stereo
Do you have a kichenette in your room in Maui? How about a refrigerator? Take an ice chest as a peice of checked baggage on your trip. You can then stop at a LOCAL grocery store and get breakfast and lunch fixings. This will save you a ton!!! Hawaii in general has a high cost of living. Don't go to the tourist spots for dinner, ask the locals where to eat.

What about NOT renting a car for the week and just renting a car one day or taking a taxi?

PlanetClaire · #11 09-13-2006, 10:58 PM

I was thinking like Breezy...use your own music.

And can you cut the food down to just cake and coffee? That has been done around here before.

Or if so many of the guests are from his side....get him to pump them for some cash!!

Or make it a potluck sort of thing and have everyone bring something.- that would be a last resort..

LadyFaile · #12 09-14-2006, 04:59 AM

nah i'm not cutting the dj. i've been to a lot of crappy receptions that would have been great with a good dj. my FBIL is a dj, we could have just asked him to do it but we want him to be able to have fun, not work. and my FH used to be a dj. if we didn't have one, and a good one, we'd never hear the end of it. he is giving us a good deal though and my MIL is paying for it anyway.

*sigh* i'll just keep crunching numbers. i'm going to see if i can get a lot of the food and dishes and stuff at costco. my brother is an awesome baker so he said he'd help with the desserts.

i decided to go with a cheaper favour that is still fitting with our theme so that'll save us a little bit.

we just have to really work at making an awesome buck and doe so we can make some cash there.

we will be registering but we're also going to request cash. it'll be a light christmas that's for sure

tinkerbell · #13 09-23-2006, 07:57 PM

Hmm...tough one. A couple things - Booze? Can you do a cash bar or a BYOB? We totally cut it out due to the fact that we were paying for airline tickets to bring his sister, not seen by the family in 10 years, out to the wedding. Our budget was jut too tight. We made sure close friends knew that we would be having a dry reception and they said no problem and brought coolers and put them in the backs of their cars. Anyone that wanted some brought their own.
Food - we did the figer food thing too and bought way too much. In fact we had a ton of cake left over too. And when people RSVP, yeah well all the people we invited were friends and close family and we still ended up with about 30 no shows.

LadyFaile · #14 09-27-2006, 05:03 AM

it will be cash bar. no way can i afford to pay for 300 french people to drink rofl
not worried about the food, i have a friend who used to work at a deli, she knows exactly how much of everything i need to feed x amount of people, and is helping me put the trays together. any leftovers will get served at the gift opening luncheon the day after if we decide we're having one (probably)

it's been my experience that only like 1/4 of the guests actually make their way to the cake by the time it's done, and the couple are left with a ton of it afterwards. we're doing cupcakes instead of a cake. i don't think we'll be making one for every guest since some won't have any. and there will be a small selection of other desserts too. it's all getting put out at the same time as the rest of the food so everyone has a chance to get at it before they're too drunk to see it

whiddle · #15 09-27-2006, 06:26 PM

If you are not putting out food until 10 pm, I would just serve cake and maybe have a few other desserts and chips, salsa type stuff. I think by 10 pm everyone would have already eaten or died of starvation- so you won't need a lot of food. You can buy canned sodas and put them in coolers (on ice). A big way to save money is not to give out favors and make your own invites.

LadyFaile · #16 09-28-2006, 06:02 AM

a friend is making our invitations for us

all drinks are provided by the hall, guests have to pay for them.

reason we're doing food at 10 is that the reception doesn't start til 8. our ceremony is in Maui, reception is back home when we return. we figured if there's no ceremony beforehand we don't need to do a dinner, people will eat before they go.