venting about hair

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This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by maroki13 on 5/31/05. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.

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posted by maroki13

I am so frustrated with my hair and I have time so I figured I'll vent here. I have been a blonde up until about 4 months ago. Last November (when I was still blonde) I had a really bad experience at a hair salon around here. I don't have a regular hairdresser, although lord knows I've been trying for a couple years. So, last November I decided I was going to find a good, regular hairdresser and keep my hair and highlights up.

I went to a reputable salon in the area and made an appointment, but didn't request anyone by name. I told her I wanted some lowlights for winter, since my hair was pretty blonde. I have very, very, very thick hair and partial highlights usually takes about 4 hours for me. So, 4 hours later...I had champagne pink highlights with blonde hair. I had told her I wouldn't mind reddish-brown highlights. What I ended up with was not anywhere close to reddish-brown. AND to make matters worse, she hadn't even done the highlights close to my head, so even though I had just left the salon I looked like I needed to get my roots retouched already!! (I know you ladies know what I'm talking about). I was so steamed I couldn't even say anything then. I went back about two hours later and they (the salon) said they would redo my hair for free, the next day. So I had to spend another 4 hours in the chair with my scalp burning from the chemicals. After that, I wasn't eager to go through test runs with any more hairdressers anytime soon.

So, about four months ago, I decided being blonde and keeping up my highlights was too much trouble and I wanted to try being dark (brunette) for a while. My eyebrows are naturally dark and always looked kind of strange with blonde hair. So I started dying my hair at home, myself. It took forever, but it was cheap and I got the job done decently enough. Since we are getting married in a little over a year, I decided (once again) that I needed to find a hairdresser so I could keep my hair up and have someone who knows my taste/style so that things would go smoothly for wedding hair. I asked around and found out about another (highly recommended) salon. They couldn't recommend anyone specifically but said everyone there was good. I had an appointment for last Saturday, right before my FIL's anniversary party.

My hair when I went in was light brown with a slightly reddish tint. I didn't really want to go darker, but I didn't want a reddish tint so I told her she could go slightly darker in order to get rid of the red. We looked at the color book, she showed me the shade I was then and the shade she wanted to make my hair. It was only slightly darker (again, barely medium brown) so I said that looks good. 3 1/2 hours later, when I'm already running late for my FIL's anniversary party and FH has had to come to the salon searching for me, my hair is about as dark as it can get. It is BLACK. My FH says "your hair is black sweetie....(must have given him a look)...and it looks good!! (big smile)" I didn't have time to talk to them about it because I was running very late for the party.

So now, I have black hair. Not kidding, I had on a black shirt the other day and my hair definately matched. I am pretty white skinned so having black hair makes me look even whiter (if possible)..that is why I was shooting for light/medium brown. So anyway, I couldn't get back in today to get it fixed. I am so annoyed, I just want to give up on the finding a good hairdresser thing. It seems like it is too much trouble, money, and horror stories!!!!

I'm still going to go back and get my hair fixed, because black is not something I want to deal with. I think I am going to lighten it to brown (again) and put some light highlights in it to try and repair the black damage. BUT, I don't want to go back to the same woman at the salon, so I'm thinking of seeing if I can have someone else at the same salon (although there are only 2 other workers) fix my hair. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent about my hair...I am still very frustrated and bummed about it but this has made me feel a little bit better.

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posted by NovemberGal

Out of curiosity, what color is your hair naturally? Could you essentially try to dye your hair back to natural and then let everything grow out?

It's *possible* that if your hair was significantly treated, the brown color reacted differently than expected and came out darker. But it shouldn't have come out *black*, and a reputable stylist should have known that was a possibility and at least warned you, as well as attempted to compensate for it. Sounds like you just have really sh-h-hh-crappy luck with stylists.

Good luck with it all!

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posted by maroki13

My natural color now is dark blonde, but I was white blonde when I was little and have kept in somewhere in between for the past 5-7 years. It doesn't help I used to be in the sun a lot and my hair stayed light naturally, but there isn't that much sun here so I had to pay to keep it light.

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posted by Shaks18

Best way is look for someone who has nice highlights and ask them who they go to. The salon i go to (been going there for about 3-4 years) is pretty good. At least thats what customers will tell you but in reality there's only one or two good ones and the rest are pretty average.

Find a salon that has more than 2 or 3 hairdressers and try going in there for small jobs. I started out with doing my eyebrows, and from there you can scan and see how the different hairstylists work and who constantly has customers and who doesnt, who always is doing cuts every time you go in, or highlights all the time and from there you can choose who you want to go with.

And definitely stick to one person. I would never randomly go into a hair salon and have them even touch my hair. If you were in LA i can tell you who to go to for highlights.

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posted by bebe0315

Wow - at this point, you need to be really REALLY careful. After all of that processing, your hair has got to have some damage. Be sure to use a moisturizing shampoo and heavy conditioners as well as a leave in treatment. It is really hard to get black or dark colors out of lighter hair, especially hair that has already been processed. The hair just soaks up color like a sponge. It sounds like the color the latest colorist put on reacted with the color that was already on your hair. My youngest sister is also a dark/dirty blonde naturally, and she was into the whole goth scene and dyed her hair black. She hated it and tried to have the black removed, but they said they couldn't do it without severely damaging her hair. So she decided to leave it and just started dyeing her roots a different color (dark auburn) as it grew back in. It actually looks really cool that way! And the black has lightened a lot and kind of makes a gradual transition from the auburn. Unfortunately, unless you want to risk a lot of damage, the best way to get rid of color is to let it grow out. I had/have these horrible highlights (can be seen in my bio pic) that made my dark brown hair much lighter and I hated the color, so I decided to just let it grow out. I have been using Sebastions Colourshines in Brilliant Brown mixed with a bit of Wine Red to cover up the highlights as they grow out and get cut off. I HIGHLY recommend this product to everyone, by the way. They have a colorless option as well, and you would not believe the condition and shine this stuff puts into your hair. And it is good for your hair and does not lift your natural color at all. Some salons offer this treatment, but I just do it myself at home, It's super easy and much cheaper to do it myself. This is where I buy it at.

http://estore.heavenspa.com/Category...y=Colourshines

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posted by Shaks18

I started highlighting my hair about 2 years ago (naturally my hair is really dark brown almost black) and after a year of highlighting and one really bad touch up done by another one of the "experts" at my salon (my original hairdresser was on maternity leave) My highlights were really really blond, so last summer i had her dye the entire thing black. A month later i wanted my highlights again and she was able to re-do them without causing much damage to my hair. So again, you gotta look for someone in your area who knows what to do and how different colors will react according to whats already in your hair.

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posted by feb-bride

I would give my hair a rest if I were you. All that processing cannot possibly be good. You might want to just let it grow out for awhile. The black dye will eventually fade somewhat.

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posted by maroki13

So...I went and talked to the salon owner today on my lunch break. I am pretty non-confrontational (at least in person) so it was a hard thing for me to do. She told me that the only thing they could do to fix my hair was strip it, and they wouldn't do it there because it did too much damage to my hair. I asked her if the only way to get the black color out of my hair would be to strip it...she said yes. I told her that I would rather have it done sooner (more time or my hair to recover before the wedding) than closer to the wedding. Again, she told me they didn't recommend it. In return, I told her I wouldn't have had to get it done if I had gotten the color hair I asked for!!! She told me that the color hair I got was exactly what the girl showed me on the color palate (and no it wasn't, I can tell black from brown). I said that if the girl knew it was going to turn out this dark and I had told her I wanted a medium brown, it was her obligation to tell me that it was going to turn out dark (read black). She said she would ask the hairdresser when she got in this afternoon and call me back. And then she had the nerve to tell me "Well, even if we did strip your hair all we could put back in it color-wise would be warm colors, which you didn't want anyway". I told her that I would take warm brown colors over the black color that I never even asked for!! Grrrr. Anyway she is supposed to call me back later today and let me know if they are going to refund it or what the lady said. I doubt they will...but I am not going back there ever. I'll let you guys know what she says. But be proud that I was even confrontational!! sigh.

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posted by wynelle

I am so sorry this has happened to your hair- but you really need to stick with one hair professional--- explain all the multiple things you have done to your hair over the past few years--what you want the eventual outcome to be-- and stick with it until the wedding. My colorist says hair generally grows between 1/2 inch and 1 inch per month. That virgin 1/2-1 inch will absorb color and/or perm solution differently than the next inch, which may be different than the third inch. It sounds like you have very limited if any "virgin" hair, and overly processed hair is not going to absorb color evenly or even turn out to be the color you want because the colorist doesn't really know what is underneath all the processing. And when you mix home coloring with hair salon coloring (which can be much stronger)-- you're lucky your hair didn't fall out.

Find a good color specialist, and start now aiming for what you want in a year. Make sure you get deep conditioning treatments at least every month, and have them trim of as much of the overly processed hair as you can, then start working for the length/style/color you want for the wedding. Good luck.

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posted by Shaks18

OOh i forgot to mention, my best friend went in for highlights AND chemical hair straightening a few years back. First they straightened her hair then she went back 3 weeks later to do a few strands of highlights, just on the crown of her head, thank god nothing major because a few months later, all the highlighted strands started snapping off. Literally, every time she touched a highlighted strand, it broke off. But there really was nothing for her to do except let her hair grow out.

I told my hairdresser and she said my friend should talk to the manager and have her go in for treatments (they usually cost about $10) where they put special kinds of conditioners to strengthen your hair.

Maybe you can ask them to do something like that to compensate you if you theyre not gonna refund your money? Its worth a shot

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posted by feb-bride

Wynelle is so right about sticking with one person to work on your hair. I've had the same lady since I was pregnant with my youngest child (she's now 6 1/2 years old). Before this, I'd go to different people (and sometimes would color my own hair). My hair has never been healthier than when I started going to the same person for everything.

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posted by maroki13

Not sure if I said it in my first post, but the reason I have been going to all these hair people was to TRY to find someone I could stick with. When the people mess up, do a less-than-good job, or don't listen to what I want and do my hair totally different than I requested, then I am obviously not going to stay with them just because they know the history of my hair. I have been trying since I moved here to find a good person I could stick with, so its not like I've been jumping from person to person, each of whom has been doing a great job on my hair.

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posted by wynelle

Okay... anybody from the Tacoma Washington area who can do a shout-out for Maroki regarding a great colorist/stylist??

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posted by bebe0315

Maroki - how do you feel about driving in to the Seattle area for a stylist? I can got some recommendations from family who live up there.

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posted by maroki13

I guess I wouldn't mind driving up to Seattle if it was someone very good and highly recommended. I did get a call from the salon this morning and they refunded my money so that is a good thing I guess. I'm still deciding what to do...but thank you all for your help and advice!