Anxiety

[kenzies_mama]

Just a vent...

When we began planning the wedding we had a set budget because we had a set amount of money in an account for the wedding. However alot of stupid things have happened in the last 3 months (both lost jobs, and there's a lawsuit pending over a car he owned years ago that was repossessed) that have eaten up the account completely. My sister also borrowed a chunk of money with the understanding we wuold recieve a paymet everymonths starting in July and have yet to recieve anything. So now I'm sitting here having major anxiety over how I'm going to manage to finish paying for the wedding. There's days I have serious panic attacks. I've tried to see how I can adjust the budget but our main problem is that we can't change what we were planning on spending because of contracts. The money I need to come up with is for things like the rest of the reception and the DJ and the cake. I'm going completely insane and only have like 4 weeks to come up with 1000 and am completely freaking out.

I need a telethon like Claire I think... no what I really need is a job. When did I become so unemployable? I've never had any trouble finding work, I'm so exhausted by all this.

[DavidsWife]

Awwww Girl, Iam so sorry to hear all this has happened to you!!!

Everything is going to work out....Hmmmmm, What can you do to make the extra money??? Let me think about this!!!

Are you willing to work somewhere just Temp to get some extra money?

Jayme

I'm thinkiing about you!!!

[labeadel]

I'm so sorry to hear about your issues. It really sucks! I have no advice, b/c if I were you, I would just put in on a credit card. Hope you get it all figured out soon!

[Marge129]

Don't worry. These things always have a way of working themselves out. Like Amy said... just charge it for now.

[kenzies_mama]

Thanks guys I was just trying to get some of it off my chest to see if it would lessen the anxiety. Unfortunately we don't even have the credit card space right now, maybe I'll apply for another... or more will be freed up by the wedding.
I'm up for temp work or anything, for whatever reason it just seems no one wants to hire me, I'm not sure what I did. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.

[DavidsWife]

Maybe not something you would want to do, But have u thought of a paper route? It doesn;t pay to bad, and I bet you could get pretty close to $1000 saved up by the time 3months is up?

Just a suggestion!!!

Jayme

[wynelle]

You may have to renegotiate some of the contracts, and you may lose a bit of money...

but, for example--you back out of the DJ and use CDs. You lose the $150 deposit, but don't have the other $500 having over your head.

for the reception food--go talk to the caterers and tell them you need to replan the menu and ask what they can do for XXXX dollars. With four weeks to go, they would not yet have ordered most of the food, and an possibly replace the prime rib with grilled chicken. You can cut the per person food costs by $2-3 dollars each, maybe more.

CHange the bar to having only 1 signature drink, and perhaps beer/wine and non-alcoholic beverages.

Go to the cake baker and tell her you need a different, smaller cake. She has the deposit already, but if you can save $150-200 for a smaller cake with perhaps less fillings...

Flowers--- simplify the bouquets, have the bridesmaids carry a single lily or rose. Again, four weeks out does give you some wiggle room with contracts.

This will almost save you the thousand dollars you need right here!

[michaelsbride]

With the cake you can also just do a 2 layer cake for looks and then have a giant sheet cake to actually feed the guests.

Maybe use a photographer from craigs list or a student at a local college rather than the "professional". Also ask guests to bring cameras and send you the pics (we're doing that with anyone that brings a digital camera).

[PlanetClaire]

Those are great ideas!

Are there paid focus groups that you can join? We have that here in Toronto and they pay from $40-$100 for 1-2 hrs doing market research.There's a limited number that you can do but every little helps.

Could you put an ad in the paper to do paid housecleaning? Have a yard sale?Is there any area that you could cut corners in your household budget? Renegotiate your credit card to get you a lower interest rate?

I feel for you. I really and truly do.

I think Wynelle had some excellent suggestions in there!

Or, we can have that telethon!!!

[ljeagle]

I'm sure every thing will work out!

[rachel1374]

If your schedule will allow, I would suggest a serving position. If you are free evenings and some weekends, you can make great money, cash in hand.
Good luck to you. This is why I'm hesitating to put my deposits down. I'm terrified something will happen to our finances and we won't be able to afford what we commit to. (no credit cards)

[kenzies_mama]

Well luckily we have about 4 months and not 4 weeks till the wedding the location just wants another payment by then so the menu hasn't been finalized so that should help. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Please don't let our bad luck scare you away from putting down deposits because if you hesitate you may not be able to have to were you want it.

[Yelycrazygirl]

Wynelle gave good advice. As for jobs, did you try monster.com, careerjobs.com, stores???? That will help you get something at least temporary to be in a better situation. Good luck….

[MarthaA562]

I feel your pain... I just got diagnosed with 3 different back conditions and have to pay $2000 for surgury... Straight out of my wedding fund. So, we just have to cut back on some things. Rachel had a great idea as far as serving (I did this and catering gigs for years for extra cash). Consider serving in catering gigs as well, the hours are super flexible and the pay is great (about $100 a night plus free food). Thank goodness my dress and accessories are bought. I have a good friend making the cake. AND found a good psychiatrist to help me deal with the anxiety (short term). Things will work out, just remember, the food may be disgusting and the music terrible, but this is about starting your new life together... Never forget amongst all of this stress that you still have eachother!!! That is what is going to make the day memorable. I keep having to tell myself that every day when I see my dream wedding not being reality... That this is about a new life, not the decorations. Good luck and keep us updated!!!

[Heather]

Originally Posted by MarthaA562

I feel your pain... I just got diagnosed with 3 different back conditions and have to pay $2000 for surgury...

I need to know what type of back surgery cost $2K. I just spent over 24K for two back surgeries. (Insurance paid of course & I spent about $1K on co-pays.)

[MarthaA562]

Yes, this is my co-pay... I have to get a spinal fusion. I have good health insurance, but I will also need physical therapy.

[Heather]

I just had bone graft/fusion of my 2 lowest vertebrae (L5 to S1) in Sept 05 and they had to redo it in April 06. If you have any questions or want to know what life will be like for the weeks after, please let me know. I'll be honest with you about everything and will probably be able to tell you a few things the doctor won't. I know you don't "know" me, but the girls on here can vouch for what I've been through. If it wasn't for them (and my hubby), I'm not sure how I would have made it through everything.

Seriously, send me a private message if you ever want to talk about it.

[MarthaA562]

Originally Posted by Heather

I just had bone graft/fusion of my 2 lowest vertebrae (L5 to S1) in Sept 05 and they had to redo it in April 06. If you have any questions or want to know what life will be like for the weeks after, please let me know. I'll be honest with you about everything and will probably be able to tell you a few things the doctor won't. I know you don't "know" me, but the girls on here can vouch for what I've been through. If it wasn't for them (and my hubby), I'm not sure how I would have made it through everything.

Seriously, send me a private message if you ever want to talk about it.

Thanks.... It wont be for a few months, my mother went through it too. Not looking forward to it......

[sweet summer]

I recommend a natural remedy to help calm your nerves..PASSIFLORA!
check it out at ya local health shop, it's all natural, no side effects. I started taking it to control my panic attacks and it really helps.
Good luck, I hope everything works out for you x

[MarthaA562]

All I can say is Xanax, Valium, etc... for your panic attacks ( my sister has panic disorder). Have you considered picking up a second job for a while???

[Leslee&Jake]

Originally Posted by rachel1374

If your schedule will allow, I would suggest a serving position. If you are free evenings and some weekends, you can make great money, cash in hand.
Good luck to you. This is why I'm hesitating to put my deposits down. I'm terrified something will happen to our finances and we won't be able to afford what we commit to. (no credit cards)

I know this thread is from a while ago but I agree about serving I only work 15 hours in a weekend and I make $400 to $500.

[MarthaA562]

Originally Posted by Leslee&Jake

I know this thread is from a while ago but I agree about serving I only work 15 hours in a weekend and I make $400 to $500.

What kind of job do you have??? I need to get in on something like that!!!