Bridesmaid gift for bride - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

imstilldreaming · #1 08-18-2006, 04:54 PM

This actually happened last year but I figured since I joined this community, now would be a good time to ask!

Last year, I was invited to be one of four bridesmaids for my college roommate's wedding. The wedding was across the country from where I was living. I paid for the dress and the plane ticket and also bought a pretty expensive lingerie gift for the bachelorette party that I was told about a week beforehand. I had to take time off from work also, ON TOP OF all that, the wedding was the weekend of my birthday so no birthday party for me.

ANYWAY I decided to ask them to just tell me what they needed after they moved into their apartment and all they needed was an address book and a recipe box. I feel guilty to this day that I got them such a small gift. As a bridesmaid, are you expected to give a nice gift even though you've spent a lot of money just to participate in the wedding?

Heather · #2 08-18-2006, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imstilldreaming

As a bridesmaid, are you expected to give a nice gift even though you've spent a lot of money just to participate in the wedding?

Yep, you sure are! However you shouldn't feel guilty. You asked what they needed and they told you, which is more than some people do with regard to wedding gifts. (Some people ignore registeries altogether and give the couple something THEY love, lol.)

imstilldreaming · #3 08-18-2006, 07:03 PM

wow...well that's exactly why I'm not having a bridal party--just a MOH and that's only because SOMEONE has to hold to bouquet! It's just too expensive!

labeadel · #4 08-18-2006, 11:25 PM

We didn't pay attention to who gave us how big of a gift after the wedding, especially the wedding party. I think that the most important thing is that you were involved. DH was also in a wedding a couple of years ago that we basically went into credit card debt in order to be involved in (it was also out of state) and we just couldn't afford a gift at the time. We intended to get one for them afterward, but just couldn't. We still feel incredibly guilty as well, but I know that they totally understood and I have to let it go. IMO, the most important thing was that we were there for their big day. Same goes for you.

Kim&Bob2004 · #5 08-18-2006, 11:41 PM

Hmmmm I didn't expect it from my bridal party. MOH had just gotten married herself, one of the BM was a single mom so I didn't expect an expensive gift. Let me think, the MOH gave us a knife set and cutting board and threw the shower with one of the BM's. The single Mom BM gave a small gift card the other BM is a professional woman and she actually was extravagant IMHO. Helped to throw the shower, gave a lovely and expensive lingerie gift and a nice gift card for a wedding gift. My SOH was very generous, and he had to fly out from Ohio to attend. I think the important point is they were there. BTW, we paid for the dresses for the bridal party and the SOH's Kilt and socks. But don't feel guilty, I bet they love you no matter what!

imstilldreaming · #6 08-19-2006, 12:27 AM

I know it's a silly thing to worry about but it's just one of those things we women can't help but worry about!! I'm sure she has not given it a second thought!

RACS218 · #7 08-28-2006, 12:40 PM

I've been a BM to my close friends weddings and I gave them very special (meaning expensive) gifts. It's because most of them did not allow me to pay for anything.. So I guess, it's okay in your situation that you gave something simple. You paid a lot just to be involved and that is already a precious gift..

Beverly Spencer
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