Different country's do's and dont's for wedding etiquette

[Steven Galvez]

Originally Posted by Emily

Hmmm maybe we could have a section somewhere or a post that outlines different countries do's and donts for wedding etiquette! Steve??

I created the Cultural Customs and Traditions forum just for that reason. Feel free to go into detail about the traditions in your country (or even a region within your country). I'd love to hear the details of a typical wedding in New Zealand and the proper etiquette followed, Emily.

[Steven Galvez]

The following was posted by Ann (555ANN555) in a previous thread.

What I love about this site (apart from all the varied members!) is that I get to see alternatives, I see how things are done over there and it gives me more options. If I use even a few of the ideas I've gotten from all of you it'll make my reception less traditionally Scottish, it'll give the guests something to remember, something to make it stand out as little in their memories.

What I wondered was how we differ so how about I tell you how ours goes and you can all tell me how yours go?

• Ceremony->
  
• Reception:
  
• Drinks while B&G get phtos taken
  
• MC announces Line up of bridal party
  
• Meet & greet as guests enter reception hall
  
• B&G are anounced by MC and enter room after all the guests are seated
  
• MC anounces cutting of the cake and welcome anyone to come forward who wants to get a picture
  
• B&G are seated at top table.
  
• Speaches:
• FOB or clergy- thanks guests toasts 'the happy couple' or 'The bride and groom'
• G-thanks FOB, compliments Bride then compliments and toasts to Bmaids
• BMan- replies on behalf of the attendants, compliments the bride then toasts the health of all the parents. May read out messages left by absent friends/family.
• FOB may thank everyone again or bride may say a few words.
  
• Meal- this is nearly always a fairly formal sit-down meal. Quite often it will be silver service.
  
• You leave the room at this point so the staff can prepare it for the evening reception and the band can set up.You'll normally go through to a lounge or bar and have a wee drink and mingle, gives the B&G time to speak to anyone they haven't had the chance to see yet.
  
• Back through to reception hall
  
• Band starts up.
  
• The evening guests are invited to join the party at this point but often don't turn up till later on.
  
• First dance-> B & G. After a wee min or two they'll be joined by MOB & FOB, MOG & FOG, BM & BM.
• Next dance: B & FOB, G & MOB, MOG & BMan, FOG & BMaid,
• Next: B & FOG, G & MOG, MOB & BMan, FOB & BMaid
  
• from then on its just whoever with whoever!
  
• The band will play fairly traditional songs for most of the first half, they sometimes have a few scottish dances thrown in (unless you're lucky enough to have a ceilidh band in which case that's all they'll play!).
  
• the band will anounce the break
  
• There is normally some music in the background and the buffet will be served.
  
• Everyone gets a break apart from the B & Bmaid who will go round all the tables have a wee word with anyone who hasn't been greeted or had their minuite with the bride! They also hand out the favours to all of the ladies.
• Band starts back up, someone may make another wee speech to thank the evening guests for their presence. The music for here on will be a few scottish dances and more modern songs.
  
• The band will anounce the last dance (which isn't really the last dance!) this is the last waltz or the last romantic number, a chance for any couples to take to the floor. B&G must dance this one too!
  
• The band will ask everyone onto the dance floor for the finale, it is nearly always Loch Lomond (generally the Runrig version). As I've definately said just recently... the guests all gather in one big circle holding hands, the bridal party is inside this circle making a smaller one with the B&G inside it. Everyone joins in the singing, all swaying along and smiling at each other!
• Then when the song gets to the fast bit (after the first chorus and verse) they all start dancing in and out like crazy!

My favourite bit of most Scottish receptions is when you have all the family and friends of the B&G all holding each others hands, smiling and singing along, all really happy for the couple. It always makes me cry! can you imagine how much it'll affect me when it's my turn?!

[Yelycrazygirl]

I saw this thread and I think is going to be fun, also good to be able to understand why some of the brides to be make some decisions. Here are my I tried to give the overall picture, I think that the majority of the weddings are done this way, of course there are going to be some variations, but the overall is this way…..

In Puerto Rico traditions are kind of the same as United States, but different at the same time.

Cost: Most of the time the parents of the bride are the ones that pays for the wedding, but doesn’t happen all the time.
• Brides don’t buy their dresses they rent the dress (more cost effective). We have this bridal shops were you can go and get a bridal package, prices vary, and what’s included too. A standard package probably will include:
o Bridal Dress
o Ring Bearer Dress
o Pillow for the rings
o Invitations
o Flowers
o Decoration
o Veil
o Tiara

Others will include more things, like tuxedos for the groom and ring bearer, shoes, center pieces, etc….
So it’s a very good deal because for less than $5,000.00 you can get most of the things you need for your wedding.

• Before the wedding day, we don’t do rehearsal dinner, we have a rehearsal of the ceremony to have an idea how’s things are going to be done.
• The BMs pay for all their expenses.
• The OOT also pay for all their expenses.
• Bridal Party – we have Padrinos, they are the equivalent to MOH and Best men, the MOH is the Madrina and the best man is the Padrino. They are the ones that pay for the wedding cake.
• For the ring bearers we have a little girl and a little boy, they are like the B&G but in a mini size, the girl use a dress similar to the bride’s dress and the little boy wear a tux. They walk down the aisle together.
• Brides does not register in any store, I really don’t remember anyone that had done that. People ask for money as a wedding gift, is completely normal and expected. Even if is not explicitly said in the invitation, nobody will go and buy a gift, everybody will come with a monetary present.
• At the reception, everybody waits outside the reception place until the B&G are ready to receive their guest. Once ready Bride, Groom and BP salute all the guests, at that moment the guests sign the guest book.
• Once all the guests are inside and sated in their tables, the MC announces the wedding party, ending with the newlyweds.
• Then a short prayer is done, after the prayer the brindis, then the first dance, parents dance, etc…
• The official party starts, everybody start dancing, appetizers are served to the guests, in the meanwhile some pictures are taken to the B&G.
• Once pictures are over, the B&G spend time with their guests.
• Later on the tossing of the garter and bouquet.
• More dancing and eating
• More dancing
• Cutting of the cake
• More dancing.
• Once the food has been served and the cake has been cut, the guests start to leave the reception.

That's kind of an overall of the celebrations... weddings in PR are very fun, and people always have a good time.... Can't wait for mine......

[DragonYoga]

Originally Posted by Yelycraygirl

• The official party starts, everybody start dancing, appetizers are served to the guests, in the meanwhile some pictures are taken to the B&G.
• Once pictures are over, the B&G spend time with their guests.
• Later on the tossing of the garter and bouquet.
• More dancing and eating
• More dancing
• Cutting of the cake
• More dancing.
• Once the food has been served and the cake has been cut, the guests start to leave the reception.

That's kind of an overall of the celebrations... weddings in PR are very fun, and people always have a good time.... Can't wait for mine......

WOW! That's a whole lotta dancin' goin' on, girl! How long does the reception/party usually last? From the list, I'm guessing around 4 to 6 hours??? When it's your turn, you better make sure there's some insets for your shoes so you don't get bruised toes from all that dancing!

[Yelycrazygirl]

Actually the whole party last between 5 to 6 hrs. Sometimes a little less than that, yes there’s a lot of dancing involve. That’s one of the reasons I’ll have to make sure what type of shoes I’ll buy…

[555Ann555]

Originally Posted by Yelycraygirl

• Then a short prayer is done, after the prayer the brindis, then the first dance, parents dance, etc…

What is the brindis? I've not heard of that.

[Yelycrazygirl]

Uppsss my bad…. Didn’t realized that I didn’t write it in English, that’s the toast….

[555Ann555]

Ahh! Got it now

[janeandreawong]

This is how traditional wedding looks like from where I came from:

* The couple has the option to rent the dress/gowns/suit for the whole entourage. The cost? At least 1/8 of the original price. They can also ask the shop to make them brand new gowns but they have to rent them at a little higher price. Maybe $4-$8 more..


* Most of the time, the groom-to-be or his family shoulder all the major expenses.


* We have principal sponsors (godmothers and godfathers) that will act as second parents to us. They are expected to meddle if the couple are not doing well or contemplating on separating. They are also expected to give "donation". Most of the time, the "donation" can cover the whole wedding expense.


* brides are expected to wear white, as a sign of purity, even if they are already pregnant. If they are pregnant, they are discouraged to wear a veil.





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bridesmaidtailor.com

[DragonYoga]

Originally Posted by janeandreawong

This is how traditional wedding looks like from where I came from:

* The couple has the option to rent the dress/gowns/suit for the whole entourage. The cost? At least 1/8 of the original price. They can also ask the shop to make them brand new gowns but they have to rent them at a little higher price. Maybe $4-$8 more..


* Most of the time, the groom-to-be or his family shoulder all the major expenses.


* We have principal sponsors (godmothers and godfathers) that will act as second parents to us. They are expected to meddle if the couple are not doing well or contemplating on separating. They are also expected to give "donation". Most of the time, the "donation" can cover the whole wedding expense.


* brides are expected to wear white, as a sign of purity, even if they are already pregnant. If they are pregnant, they are discouraged to wear a veil.





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bridesmaidtailor.com

that last is VERY interesting. Why is the wearing of the veil discouraged for pregnant brides?

I also think that the sponsors thing is very interesting.

May I ask where you came from?

[munchkin]

Originally Posted by DragonYoga

that last is VERY interesting. Why is the wearing of the veil discouraged for pregnant brides?

The veil is the symbol of purity, not the white dress. I believe she's Chinese if I'm not mistaken.

[AngelRoseFyre]

There was another tradition. When arranged marrages were still accepted, the bride and groom often would not meet each other (in certain cultures) before the wedding.

A veil was worn over the brides face throughout the cerimony, so the groom would not know what his bride looked like, and therefor would not 'run away' before the marriage was official.

Obviously that tradition is no longer in practice, at least in our culture.

[555Ann555]

Any of you seen the UK film East Is East? There is a fantastic scene in there based on a similar tradition You'd need to have seen the bride to understand though

Found a film trailer of it if you've not seen it
http://film.virgin.net/player/play.a...virgin&sec=trl

[DragonYoga]

I just saw the trailer, that looks hilarious!

[NovemberGal]

Originally Posted by munchkin

The veil is the symbol of purity, not the white dress. I believe she's Chinese if I'm not mistaken.

Chinese wedding dresses are traditionally red, though.

In western tradition, the white dress really became "the thing" in the Victorian period, when it symbolized purity (but NOT virginity--the veil over the face represented virginity). In some Asian cultures, white is actually a color of death, and therefore is NOT worn at weddings.

[munchkin]

Yeah I know, DJ is Chinese. I was a bit confused by that, but going off of her name I think she's Chinese. I could be mistaken.

[morganova]

Oooh, this is a fun thread! I've been to one wedding in the Czech Rep and here are some cool things they did:

all the main players gather at one place for the car decorating before the ceremony. Everyone's cars are decorated with white ribbons and bits of myrtle and rosemary. The bride's car is decorated with tons of flowers, ribbons and a big doll which sits on the hood. Everybody then drives in a procession to the ceremony location, the groom leading, and the bride at the end. When it's located in the countryside somewhere, you'll often pass other wedding entourages. Everybody blows their horns all the way there and then again to the reception site.

After the ceremony, the groom's friends adorn him with a big harness type thing, like what you see on horses pulling plows. This is decorated with flowers also and he gets some pictures taken in it. It's for fun I think.

In between the ceremony and the reception, a tradition is that the groom's friends kidnap the bride. He must then "find" her (usually at a local pub!) and pay a ransom for her return.

During the couple's first dance, all the guests surround them in a large circle holding hands and swaying to the music. (this is my favorite tradition, it's so sweet)

The bride and groom also feed each other soup at the beginning of dinner and a plate is broken and cleaned up together to symbolize cooperation and equality.

Basically everything else is really similar to American weddings. Brides can rent their dresses (it's very common) so they save lots of money. There's no bouquet or garter toss. The parties go on through the night. The music didn't stop at the one we were at until almost 4am!