This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by MattandMegan on 9/09/05. Feel free to add your comments by pressing Post Reply.
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posted by MattandMegan
So, my latest bright idea for my reception is to have an oriental theme. Am I asian? No. But my cousin was adopted from Vietnam and will possibly be the flower girl. I thought about how cute it would be for her to wear a Cheongsam instead of a normal dress... then the creative ideas kept flowing.
I've come as far as thinking the favors could be Chinese takeout boxes that I found online (filled with some things I haven't decided on yet...), the centerpieces could be those green bamboo plants that were popular not long ago... and the bridesmaid dresses could even be Cheongsams. FH doesn't think the Cheongsams will look right if the Groomsmen still wear regular tuxedos (I would still have a normal wedding dress, also). I was just running with my idea.
Does it sound silly, especially since I am not asian in the least? I just thought it would be a cute theme, a little different and easy to decorate!! Can anyone else see any cuteness to this theme?!?!
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posted by Marrying the Good Husband
Megan, this was one theme I was considering, too. I'm also not Asian. Second wedding, getting married away, small party at home...and found these beautiful paper lanterns that would match my decor at home, single orchids, very zen. I plan on serving heavy finger foods (standing room only) and I love ALL kinds of Asian food and figured I would buy those beautiful square Japanese plates and could have sushi, eggrolls, potstickers, chicken satay, Thai shrimp, etc. I found all kinds of paperware, invitations, etc. that would go with it, as well. I thought about giving Chinese lucky coins as favors (although as you said, there's lots of cute Asian favors). At the end, through, my FH pointed out we're NOT Asian, and he didn't quite "get" why we would have an "Asian party" and not just a "wedding party." So then I got on my "Fall theme" kick... (Now we're just concentrating on an addition on the house, and I kind of let the "theme" stuff slide, as I have PLENTY of time to plan a "party" as the wedding itself will all be planned at the resort.) I think it would be interesting to hear from an Asian perspective if it would be "rude" to take on another person's culture. Is it exploitave for the purposes of a wedding? Dressing your bridesmaids in "traditional" dresses might not be appropriate if it's not your "tradition," and also if you're not exactly getting the "tradition" right. And like me, I was lumping in many Asian elements, not just one country, and THAT doesn't really sound appropriate when I think about it. But I still think it would make for a beautiful wedding!
--Jen
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posted by TheaterDiva1
I like the idea of Chinese take-out boxes for favors, but I'd fill them with fortune cookies with your name and date inside (with some kind of quote or saying added). From what I've seen on this site, edible favors seem to go over better than knick-knacks anyway.
-Maggie
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posted by syringa
I agree on the fortune cookies, or just do fortune cookie favors without the boxes. If you can't find the right oriental dresses for your attendants, a simple dress should work. You might even consider having the dresses made in a fabric that has a woven pattern in it. What about having the groomsmen in more oriental looking shirts and only the groom in a tux?
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posted by MattandMegan
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What about having the groomsmen in more oriental looking shirts and only the groom in a tux?
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Well... I COULD consider it, but the groomsmen are buff guys!! Two are police officers, one is as big as the other two, and the fourth is a football coach!! LoL... I think they would KILL me if I made them wear that.
Plan B is that the bridesmaids wear red dresses (to go with the black/red theme of the asian decorations). Also... I would L-O-V-E to have chinese food at the buffet, but I'm afraid people won't eat it. We have roughly 200 people so far, so I feel safer going with a traditional wedding menu.
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posted by gymrat
Just so you know if you like to DIY the Chinese takeout boxes. Archivers (sp?), a scrapbooking store, has the Chinese takeout box with their die cut machines which you can use for free. You are suppose to buy the paper from them but my Mom and I only buy some from them and still use the die cut machines.
I saw in your profile that you are from PA. There is not a store in PA and the closest one is Akron, OH. But maybe there is a place closer to you.
Just a thought if you are on a tight budget.
LM
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posted by labeadel
Just giving my opinion here, but if I went to a wedding and it was all Asian-themed and neither bride nor groom was Asian at all I would definitely wonder how they came up with that theme. It does sound beautiful though. I just wanted to give you my thoughts. Not sure if it's disrespectful to the Asian culture. Probably if you're not learning everything about it while doing it. There just may be some cultural reasons behind certain things that you might not do properly. But, if you're not really inviting anyone Asian to your wedding, then that stuff might not matter!
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posted by wynelle
Just a comment, because I like the overall oriental/Asian theme- the cheong-sam dresses are beautiful, but they don't fit every body type equally well. However a sheath or tank dress with a slight a-line flair made in an Asian print or fabric might be nice.
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posted by e-star
Well speaking as an Asian, I would find it odd that a non-Asian family had an Asian style wedding and yes, I would find it rude.
A lot of Westerners just look at Asian customs and think "oohh how CUTE - let's do that!" and they don't stop to think that these customs are very serious and have alot of meaning, both traditionally within the family and culturally. To reduce it down to something trite/trivial like a party theme just because you think it looks cute is very offensive in my book and yes, it is exploitive. This is someone's heritage! Please show some consideration and cultural sensitivity! I wonder how many Irish or Scottish would find it cute if a bunch of Chinese people thought it would be hilarious to run around wearing kilts and feigning a fake Irish or Scottish accent for their wedding?
From your post it sounds like you are planning to pick and choose what "Asian" things you like - well, those "Asian" things come from very distinct and separate cultures. Vietnamese culture is different from the Chinese culture, just as German is different from French. Even within China there are over 100 distinct separate cultures and ethnic groups and you are not respecting any of them by picking what you like willy nilly and mashing it in all together.
Please, if you are not Asian, don't do it. There is enough racist/sterotyping as it is. Don't have an Asian theme wedding that just continues to propagate those ideas! If you are serious about celebrating your cousin's Vietnamese heritage, I would suggest you learn about Vietnamese wedding and family traditions and think long and hard about how you could incorporate it in a manner that is respectful.
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posted by feb-bride
I agree with e-star. I wouldn't use an Asian theme if I was not Asian. My husband's Japanese but we still did not go with an Asian theme because other than my husband, his parents, and approximately five other guests, no one else at our wedding was Japanese, and the cultural references would have been lost on everyone else.
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posted by NovemberGal
I agree as well, I wouldn't go with an Asian theme. I think you could use the traditional dress for your flower girl cousin, if it's appropriate for the Vietnamese tradition, but I would not build the rest of the wedding around it per se.
I did go to a wedding for a couple that had no Asian heritage but loved Asian food and Asian fusion food; their first date was at a Thai restaurant. They served Asian fusion food and decorated the patio with paper lanterns. But they didn't do anything else. It wasn't an "Asian themed wedding", it was a wedding with Asian food (and not traditional food, at that). I think that was fine.
I'm not Asian, but I am both Irish and Scottish in decent chunks, and as popular as all things Celtic are now, I still get annoyed when I feel like someone is "taking" elements from Celtic tradition when they don't have that heritage themselves, just because it's popular now. Except for St. Paddy's--then everyone's Irish for a day!
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posted by HeatherR
I agree with e-star too - 100%. Especially since I'm Scottish and really liked her example, lol.
Oriental/Asian theme...?!
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