Different Budgets for Two Sisters - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

Child's Play · #1 08-10-2006, 07:59 PM

I got married almost 6 years ago and now my younger sister is getting married. Our parents are/were gracious enough to help pay for the majority of our weddings. Now I find out that my parents are paying more than 1 1/2 times for her wedding than they did for mine. The reason this has come up is because my sister has been comparing everything from the cost of my wedding dress to the cost of the church and more. My feelings are hurt. I can't believe that my parents, who supposedly gave her a budget to begin with (I haven't mentioned that they are doing all of this in 6 weeks) wouldn't have stuck to that budget. Should I feel hurt?

justnmary · #2 08-10-2006, 08:05 PM

Of course I'd feel hurt too, but keep in mind the price difference 6 years can make!!! I'm not saying it's right by any means but I don't see how you can change any of it. Like I said, I'd be hurt too, and parents do things for reasons unknown to us, but be greatful your parents were willing to contribute...there are a lot of brides that don't have that luxury. Did your parents come right out and declare what the budget had to be? By the way, Welcome to Pash!!!!

ljeagle · #3 08-10-2006, 08:10 PM

I think you should look at it in a different way. My sister was married 6 years ago and my parents paid for it. Well I had a little bigger wedding then her and if you look at prices now things are more pricey. If this bugs you then I would say stay away from any money talk with your sisters wedding. Be happy for your sister and that your parents can afford to help her with the wedding of her dreams. I'm sure your wedding was just as nice and grand as what hers will be.

Welcome to PASH!

AshyBekka · #4 08-10-2006, 08:11 PM

Welcome to Pash! I can't say I blame you for being hurt-I think that's kind of a knee jerk reaction with the whole sibling rivalry thing. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, and you have to keep in mind that maybe their circumstances have changed over the years. Also-things are more expensive now than even just 6 years ago. Did you enjoy your wedding? Do you have fond memories of that time with your husband? It sounds to me like you don't regret your own wedding, you're just hurt about what's happening now. I say just go along and try not to let it ruin your experience-6 years of marriage and a happy healthy family are so much more important than some of those knee-jerk feelings!

Kim&Bob2004 · #5 08-10-2006, 08:40 PM

Welcome to Pash!

I agree with the others. And remember, if your sister is seeking you out in an effort to gloat, she is the one with issues. Not you. be happy for her and if she insists on talking about the money difference between weddings, say something like, "Oh I know. Things cost so much today. I mean just look at the price of houses today compared with 6 years ago! My gosh things are expensive!" And if she continues to bring it up, say something my adopted Grandma taught me to say when you don't wish to comment on something either way, WOW. If she says, "My DJ costs...." You can say, "Wow." But like LJ mentioned, try to keep off the money topic AMAP.

Julz518 · #6 08-10-2006, 09:22 PM

Welcome to Pash!

I hope besides all the money talk you are able to enjoy the planning of your sisters wedding

I agree with everyone else to ignore her bragging and focus on what you DO have and ESPCIALLY remember that just because her wedding costs more, that doesn't mean it is better or that her marriage will be more successful. Quite often I've observed, and not to curse your sister anything, but those brides who focus on the wedding and "outdoing" everyone so much tend not to focus on their relationship, and so it sufers in the long run.

And if you're mad about your parents not sticking to the budget - think about where they were six years ago compared to today. Most likely they are better off with one daughter successfully married and living on her own. They may have a little more to spend and are a little caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding - especially if they only have 6 weeks to do it (why?).

I hope you are able to enjoy the festivities!

Heather · #7 08-10-2006, 09:29 PM

Welcome.

Cost of living in general has gone up a lot in six years, and as someone else mentioned, you should be grateful your parents contributed at all, let alone paid for it. They were not and are not now obligated to pay for anything. Be happy for your sister and be gracious in the fact that your parents can afford to host a wedding for two daughters.

Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding.