father/daughter dance - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

kjb2b · #1 07-28-2006, 03:44 PM

I'm not close to planning my wedding yet (been engaged all of two weeks...), but I'm already wondering what to do about the father/daughter dance. My dad passed away in 2004, and I really can't think of another man to take his place. I have an older brother, but we're not that close. Would it be wrong to not do the parent/child dance at all?

justnmary · #2 07-28-2006, 03:49 PM

My dad is still here but he has health issues so we decided to have a mother son dance and not do a father daughter dance. You can pretty much do what you want.

Lizbet · #3 07-28-2006, 03:58 PM

Everything is up to you. You can skip it altogether, or you can have a song dedicated to your Dad and not dance to it, or you can dance with someone else. Make whatever decision feels best to you.

My sympathies on your loss.

Heather · #4 07-28-2006, 04:56 PM

My father passed away in 99 and I wasn't sure what to do about the father/daughter dance either. My MIL really wanted to do a mother/son dance, so I asked my oldest brother to dance with me, we are close though. I had both my older brothers walk me down the aisle.

It really is up to you as mary and lizbet have stated. Do whatever you are comfortable with, but my advice is to not deny your FMIL or husband of a dance if they want to do it.

kjb2b · #5 07-28-2006, 04:58 PM

Yikes, I hadn't even thought of who would walk me down the aisle ... my mom, maybe?

Julz518 · #6 07-28-2006, 05:51 PM

Do whatever you want - talk to your FH husband about it (maybe you could dance with FFIL while he dances with his mom?) and your mom/siblings. If you don't have a strong opinion on the matter then, does anyone else feel strongly about it, (whose opinion matters to you)?

My FH's mom passed away about 8 years ago and there is no other woman that he is close to. I'm also not horribly close to my dad, so I'm forging the father/daughter dance as well. However, we are considering playing "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" in honor of his mother (it rained the day he proposed, so it's kind of appropriate

)

Good Luck!
Julie

labeadel · #7 07-28-2006, 06:20 PM

You could always dance with your mom instead since your dad isn't around. My mom kept saying she was jealous that my dad got a dance with me and she didn't. Just a thought.

And yes, I would have your mom walk you down the aisle as well. Are the two of you close?

kjb2b · #8 07-28-2006, 06:33 PM

I guess I'm pretty close with my mom ... and I'm sure we'll get closer as the wedding planning progresses. So it'd probably be a good idea to have her walk me down the aisle ... and perhaps for the dance, too. I think that would depend on how comfortable she is with the idea ... she's not too comfortable in the spotlight and whatnot. But it might be special for her ... I'm the youngest of three and the first to get married, so maybe she'll want to dance ... I don't know, I think I'm rambling now ...

Heather · #9 07-28-2006, 08:43 PM

I was going to have my Mom walk me down the aisle, but I wanted my brothers involved somehow. So, they walked me down, one on each arm and then kind of handed me over to my Mom about 5 feet from my husband. I then walked with her the rest of the way and she "gave me away". I have some beautiful photos of the 'exchange' and I loved that my whole family was involved in someway.

I would think about it for a while and really decide what you want to do. Your Mom and brother would probably be incredibly flattered and happy if you asked either to walk you down.