| Wedding Entourage Discuss the roles of the members in the wedding party. |
07-27-2006, 08:28 PM
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Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas
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New Dilemma-Freakin Out BM
Ok-now that we've solved the photographer issue...
One of my close friends from law school has always been sort of Type A. Very organized, regimented, disciplined, competitive and whatnot. Makes her a great law student, but sometimes a less than ideal friend. This is one of those times.
Shortly after I got engaged in November, I asked her to be a bridesmaid and she accepted. A few months later on New Year's, her boyfriend proposed, and so now my wedding is coming up this November and hers in January 07. Somehow, I feel as though I've been dragged into a competition that I didn't know I was competing in. I got save the date cards with photo magnets, and then she did, but to be honest, I didn't much care. We're getting married in two different states, different families, different guest lists, whatever. And if I find something that's a great deal or a cool idea, I tend to share it. That's just how I do things.
Back in the fall, before planning started getting serious, I'd toyed with the idea of a rehearsal bbq instead of a formal dinner-before we knew exactly when the wedding would be, how many people, etc. At the time, I mentioned I thought it would a cute idea to get koozies as favors for guests, just to go with the laid back theme. Since then, mom and I were still trying to figure out wedding favors, so the topic resurfaced last week, and we still thought, hey, cute idea.
So I asked my friend today if she was doing favors and if so, what kind. She told me, you guessed it, koozies. All I said was, wow, we're considering that too-how funny! And ladies-she FLIPPED OUT! Said that she'd already ordered them and that I better make sure mine didn't look like hers and how dare I steal her idea, blah blah blah. I was shocked. We're talking koozies here. Again, different weddings, different states, different guest lists, and everything. I don't know what to say to her or what to do, although I did send her an email and ask if there was maybe something else wrong because I couldn't figure out what the problem was.
Do you guys see anything I missed? Have I acted in some completely irrational way??
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07-27-2006, 08:35 PM
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I think your friend is just extremely competitive. I would not bother mentioning anything else that you're planning unless she NEEDS to know.
From what you typed her, it doesn't seem like you did anything wrong. Has she responded to your message asking her if there's something else wrong?
BTW - What's a koozie? I probably know, but I don't recall hearing of something called a koozie.
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07-27-2006, 08:37 PM
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Hahah-you know, like those little foam things you put on cans to keep them cold. We call them koozies here-although that could be a regional thing. See why I'm so confused??
ETA-I haven't gotten an email back yet. I would have called her, except she just seemed so irrationally upset I figured an email would be better, so that maybe she could collect her thoughts and not just freak out again.
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07-27-2006, 08:43 PM
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Odds are the two "koozies" will be different any, two different weddings, far apart, one in 3 months and the other in Jan. I think Feb had a good idea.
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07-27-2006, 08:55 PM
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I think she's just a nut case....but that's just me..... 
We call those Koozie thingy's....cooler cups.....lol, I was thinking you were doing those balls that have a million rubber fingers on them (koosh balls or something?).....lol....boy was I off!!!
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07-27-2006, 09:17 PM
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When it comes to weddings people can be very competitive, my sisters and my weddings are only 6 months apart she absolutely refuses to do ANYTHING the way I am with the exception of the DJ and that's only because he gave a a really good deal for doing both.
When duscussing what gifts we were going to get for the groomsmen I told her my FH was *thinking* about flasks, she just looked at me like WTF?, and then informed me that's what her FH was getting for his guys, my FH decided it wasn't worth getting her upset and chose something else.
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07-27-2006, 09:28 PM
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I hate people like that. I had a friend who always did that competitive crap to me. She once tried to convince me that my Mom liked her more than me!
Morons.
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07-27-2006, 09:40 PM
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Marge, i hope you're not referring to me 
I have LOTS of competitive friends, including all my FH's friend's wives who are constantly comparing rings, weddings, vacations, etc. It SUCKS.
Hopefully your friend will realize she over reacted and apologize, but if not, I wouldn't make a big deal of it - you don't want to stress her out more. I'm also with feb - don't discuss any more wedding details with her unless you have to. If she trys to discuss things with you, you might want to explain to her that you were a little hurt and confused last time she freaked out on you, and you think it's best to avoid the subject to preserve your friendship (and both of your stress levels). But otherwise I wouldn't bringit up again, she may be embarrased about her reaction. Maybe she's just on PMS?
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07-27-2006, 10:04 PM
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Your friend is rediculous! My advice? Get the same exact koozies!! No, just kidding! Honestly, I would try to keep my ideas to myself from now on and just let her in on a few little things. Don't worry about her, she'll get over it!
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07-27-2006, 10:21 PM
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That is slightly crazy!! I would start telling her that you were going to do really odd ball things to see if she would comment or follow....
BTW....we had a BBQ for our rehearsal dinner, too...and did Koozies as favors at the BBQ...it was so much fun...I like going to the lake and stuff with our friends and family now and seeing them use the koozies....good idea!!
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07-27-2006, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by SuzyBride
Your friend is rediculous! My advice? Get the same exact koozies!! No, just kidding! Honestly, I would try to keep my ideas to myself from now on and just let her in on a few little things. Don't worry about her, she'll get over it! |
LOL! Same here, but I'm evil like that.
We call them Koozies around here too.
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07-27-2006, 10:37 PM
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Tell her you are going to have a clown perform the ceremony!!! Maybe she'll steal that one too!
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Josh and Suzanne married July 23, 2005
"Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination."
-- Roy Goodman
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07-27-2006, 10:38 PM
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HAHAHAHAHAHA-You girls are SO BAD! (I like it!)
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07-27-2006, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by SuzyBride
Tell her you are going to have a clown perform the ceremony!!! Maybe she'll steal that one too! |
That's hilarious. Either that or you could tell her that you will be having a mime perform the ceremony.
That's why I like you guys. You're evil, just like me!
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07-27-2006, 10:50 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Julz518
Marge, i hope you're not referring to me |
See Margie? You'll need to watch your step now!  
Ashy: I'd try to ignore her megalomania. She's clearly lost it.  Perhaps the craziness will wear off after the wedding... Like the girls said, just try not to share too many details  Unless you're feeling wicked.
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07-27-2006, 11:00 PM
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Bridezilla on the loose!! Watch out!
Seriously though, just ignore her. She's just being drama. 
Feb, these are Koozies. http://www.superiorpromos.com/viewPr...l?ca_id=12_182
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07-27-2006, 11:03 PM
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I've never seen those!  I'd stop you getting a cold hand, but still let you drink cold juice! Genius!!!
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07-27-2006, 11:04 PM
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They're awesome when you're outside on a hot summer day!
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07-27-2006, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Julz518
Marge, i hope you're not referring to me |
Nope... Corey.
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07-28-2006, 12:27 AM
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OMG are koozies pronounced like Kootsie? If so, my friend refers to the "wild thang" as "doing kootzie" hahahah
Just think of it this way, your wedding and rehearsal dinner is going to come before hers, so anything you copy from her or she copy from you will still end up looking like SHE's the copier because your events came first. 
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07-28-2006, 02:00 PM
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Well-a sorta update.
After sending her an email expressing concern and asking her to please calm down, she texted my phone with "We're fine. I'm sorry." Ooookay. I think she's just wound herself up with all the wedding planning. I'm so glad I'm not in Houston right now-haha.
I think you ladies are right though-I'm just not sharing details with her anymore. It's not worth ruining a friendship because she has some sort of skewed idea of this being a competition. I know she's naturally competitive, so I guess it just sort of hurt my feelings to think that she had taken her competitive nature into the realm of our respective weddings. Sigh.
Thanks for the advice and the laughs ladies-I'm off to Little Rock for the weekend to check out the new church and reception venue-I'll bring my camera and hopefully remember to take pics to show you next week!
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07-28-2006, 02:06 PM
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I'm glad things seem to be working out. That is a very silly thing for her to be worked up over!
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07-28-2006, 02:49 PM
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I'm glad she calmed down.
Can't wait to see the pics.
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07-29-2006, 05:11 AM
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Glad she took a  !! Take lots of pics in LR! I wanna see the new location!!
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Josh and Suzanne married July 23, 2005
"Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination."
-- Roy Goodman
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