Making it your own!

[mrsmckenzie]

We are Buddhist and didn't have set vows to follow so we wrote our own. Everyone who came to our wedding, even non-Buddhists, were so moved by our vows. Many people even started crying!! Several people asked us for copies and I can't even count the number who shared that our wedding was the most amazing they had been to because of that additional touch.

If you want to make your wedding ceremony a little more special, I would definitely suggest writing your own vows!!

[mommy03bride]

i agree with u. me and my fh decided that we would write are vows but its harder then i thought. i no how i feel about him but im not good with words. i have enough time so im sure i will come up with something.

[mrsmckenzie]

I bought a wedding vow book and it helped a little. We picked a few quotes out of it and read a lot of other vows. I then sat down and wrote ideas of what marriage really meant to me. It took A LONG TIME!!! I spent days and weeks on this until I thought I would go crazy. I also read a lot of religious (Buddhist) comments on marriage and spoke to my officiant. I compiled all of it and divided the vow into 3 parts: a vow to staying true to ourselves & dreams, a vow to each other +future family and a vow to help others. After I got a rough draft, my hubby read it over and cried and then we revised it together.

It was great because it made me really think about marriage and what I was entering. I read so many vows about staying faithfull to each other and whatnot. I felt like that was so shallow. I don't need to tell my husband during our wedding that I won't cheat on him. That's a given. Let's get deeper!!

[Lizbet]

I sort of did that. I read a bunch of different vows and combined/adjusted them until I found something that worked for me. The vows were the same for DH and me, though.

[labeadel]

DH and I wrote our own vows as well. We also had people tell us that it was the most touching ceremony they'd been too. And ours was non-religious (can't remember the word for that).

[michaelsbride]

would you mind posting your vows for us that are writing our own to get some ideas from? i pinched some from what breezy had posted before but we're struggling!

[mrsmckenzie]

Here is what I said to him, his was the same with reversed roles:

Brandon, from this day forth I vow to love you as my best friend and my husband. I will continue to pursue my passions in life, challenge my personal human revolution all the while sharing in your hopes and dreams. I will encourage you in times of suffering. Celebrate with you in times of joy. Nurture you when you are sick and dialogue when we are struggling. I will be a source of inspiration and hope for your life and love you every day with my whole heart. I devote myself to our union and promise to always support you, our family, and our friends as your wife and the mother of our children. Together we will share all that life has to offer and overcome any obstacles that we encounter to create a supremely happy life together for the sake of others. Take this ring as a symbol of the vows we have made today.

[gymrat]

We wrote our entire service (see below), sort of. The words were already written by someone else but we took various parts of this and that from things we liked and made it work for us.

Wedding Address
Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Jane and John in marriage.

Marriage is an honorable estate and, therefore, must be approached with reverence and discretion. The taking of solemn vows, which you will pledge to each other today, will symbolize your love, devotion and commitment to one another.

Actions will bring life to these words. Marriage is the beginning of new responsibilities and duties for both of you, and through them you will find that a strong marriage does not just happen. Rather, it is created with the reality that, in marriage, the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is not only marrying the right partner, but being the right partner.

It has been said that if you have the gift of prophecy and, with full knowledge, comprehend all mysteries; if you have faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, you have nothing.

Love is a source of strength. You will know your love is strong when you are happy for the other person when they are happy, and sad when they are sad.
Love is a source of reality. You will know your love is real when you are honest with yourself at all times and honest with each other at all times. You listen, respect the truth and never pretend.
Love is a source of security. You will know your love is secure when you remain near in heart through time and distance, you have the freedom to pursue your own desires and you grow alongside of, and together with, each other.

Exchange of Vows

As you have chosen to enter the honorable estate of love and marriage;

Do you, John, take Jane to be your lawful wedded wife; do you further agree to love her and cherish her, to keep her in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow; and promise to be her faithful husband, as long as you both shall live?

“I do.”

Do you, Jane, take John to be your lawful wedded husband; do you further agree to love him and cherish him, to keep him in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow; and promise to be his faithful wife, as long as you both shall live?
“I do.”

John, repeat after me:

I, John, take you Jane, to be my wife. I promise to give you the best of myself, to respect you as your own person, to grow and change with you, to bring joy and strength to our relationship and to love you through whatever life has to offer.

Jane, repeat after me:

I, Jane, take you John, to be my husband. I promise to give you the best of myself, to respect you as your own person, to grow and change with you, to bring joy and strength to our relationship and to love you through whatever life has to offer.

Exchange of Rings
The circle is the symbol of the earth and the sun, a sign of wholeness, perfection, peace and unity. Like the circle, your rings have no beginning and no ending. They are physical reminders of the growing relationship you have come here to celebrate and confirm.

John, repeat after me:
With this ring I thee wed, in token and in pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.

Jane, repeat after me:
With this ring I thee wed, in token and in pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.


Pronouncement of Marriage

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be the friend of the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May God bless you and keep you, may happiness be your constant companion and may your days together be good and long upon the earth.

By virtue of the authority invested in me by law,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Presentation
I would like to introduce for the first time,
Jane and John Doe.