Cash gift??????

[Yelycrazygirl]

Hi everyone , I'm new here and I was looking for anybody that made the cash question, but I didn't find it. My situation is as follow: I'm from Puerto Rico, and my fiancee is from the States. I currently live in Virginia, but our wedding will be in Puerto Rico. The norm there is that brides doesn't register, and they just ask for money instead of a house item gift, the request is added in a card inside the invitation. In Puerto Rico nobody seems to have a problem with that, is very normal and pretty much expected. Now how do I deal with that situation for the people from here? I'm going to invite people that doesn't know of that but I don't want offend anybody, and I really don't want to register. I just need a suggestion on how deal with this. Any help will be appreciated.....

[555Ann555]

First off welcome to Pash!

From what I can tell there is no way you should ask your American Guests for a cash gift.

They may well choose to give you cash, but it is considered very bad form to request it.

[AshyBekka]

Welcome to Pash! What if you registered at American stores for housewares and whatnot so your US guests can use the registry and your Puerto Rican guests can give the gifts they feel are appropriate? That way everyone feels comfortable...

[kenzies_mama]

I would not put in a request for cash from any American guests they will believe it's tacky and be upset. But you don'thave to register either, you can just let the guests figure it out on their own. The main reason people register is so they get what they want, if not I'm sure people will still be sending gifts as they see fit, just expect alot more nik-nacky stuff and alot of duplicates of things people will think you can use. It would really be in your own best interest to just go ahead and register.

[wembley]

You can even do it online now so it might be easier to just do even a small registery just so you don't get completely random things that you'll never use.

[mommy03bride]

i agree with the other girls, just register for US family and friends.

[Julz518]

I think some travel registry sites give you money back from your registry. For example, you could register for a massage at the hotel on your honeymoon - but when your guest "buys" the massage for you, the travel agent doesn't actually buy the massage, they just give you the money for it. If you really don't need stuff for your house, this may be the way to go. However, you should only register for "realistic" travel expenses and amenities and try to actually use the "gifts" from your guests, so you can tell them how much you enjoyed it

I'm not completely sure of travel registry ettiquette, but since your wedding is in Puerto Rico, you may be able to register for some of your wedding-related travel expenses this way too (if they are carefully worded).

Good luck!

[Yelycrazygirl]

Thanks everybody for your response This suggestions are defenetely help. I'm going to talk with my fiancee and we'll see how we do this.

[syringa]

You mention that in Puerto Rico you enclose a card in the invitation asking for money. For your U.S. guests, simply omit the card so that you don't offend them. Then, you can either create a small registry (surely there are some things that you need) or wait for guests to ask and then you can verbally tell them that you would prefer cash. Be aware, however, that not all people like to give money so you will still get some gifts.

[PlanetClaire]

Hey, if you prefer cash, as is customary in some cultures, go for it.

Can you print up a little card that says something like ( someone had this posted somewhere already so I can't take credit for it!!)

Due to travel constraints the bride and groom request that in lieu of wedding gifts that a monetary gift be made instead.
Or find out where the tradition stems from in Puerto Rico and share that in a notecard to them.

Can you set up a bank account and give them the coordinates so that they can put it in- like when you hear about accounts being set up for charities etc...

I've been to three weddings here in Toronto where it was customary to give $$ instead of gifts. I didn't think it was tacky at all- I'd rather that than have someone make up a registery of stuff I can't afford or choose a "filler" gift- you know, one of those gifts that no one will ever use but is on there because the price is right?

You would need to give people an idea of how much is "expected"- that would have to be circulated by someone by phone instead of written down!

[whiddle]

Or find out where the tradition stems from in Puerto Rico and share that in a notecard to them. ---By Clare

Maybe make up a poem explaining the history of the tradition.