FREAK TIME!!!! - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

justnmary · #1 07-20-2006, 11:08 PM

Justin got a phone call today from his best man.....he needs surgery asap on his back and if he can schedule it before the wedding he's going to (obviously he should, I'm just being selfish right now, I know he needs to get this taken care of, it's very serious.) SO.....WE'RE OUT OF A BEST MAN WITH A MONTH (30 DAYS) TO GO!!!! So we're going to sit down tonight and brainstorm to come up with something!!

michaelsbride · #2 07-20-2006, 11:28 PM

is there a father or sibling that can step in for the best man?

justnmary · #3 07-20-2006, 11:34 PM

One of my brothers I'm hoping (I have a large male sibling population)....or an aquaintence of Justin's but we're not sure yet, it's such short notice.

Heather · #4 07-21-2006, 12:45 AM

Hold up. It's very possible that depending on what type of surgery he's having, that he can at least be there as the Best Man for the ceremony.

I'll come back and finish this b/c I have to pee so badly right now but want to finish!!

ETA:
Okay. Do you know specifically what type of surgery? I've had 2 back surgeries in the last year. The first (Sept) was a combined fusion (with bone graft & hardware put in) and a laminectomy on 2 discs. I could barely get out of bed for a month and never would have been able to be in a wedding. The second (April) was replacing 2 of those screws, a 2nd bone graft and fusion of a very tiny area that hadn't healed from Sept. I could have been in a wedding 2-3 weeks later if I had to be. In 1999, I had only a laminectomy and was up and about 3 days later and while I was moving around stiffly, I was fine.

I see though, that you're wedding is in 30 days. Do you know when his surgery is scheduled?

If he's anything like me, or has had any of the same issues, he's doing the right thing by bowing out. I know it sucks for you, but trust me when I say that people with back issues suffer silently for the sake of others way too much. I know I did for a long time, which probably only added to my own pain.

Trust me when I say that you really do want him home healing and resting, because every once in a while you will find him grimacing when he didn't know you were looking, and then you would feel very guilty.

justnmary · #5 07-21-2006, 03:53 PM

It's something about severe pain steaking down through his hip into his leg, maybe sciatica (sp?) but I think Justin said something about ruptured disk? I absolutely agree about his bowing out, my brother has had multiple back surgeries and is in chronic pain so I would never expect someone to go through so much pain on my account, I was just venting because I just found out about it like 5 minutes before I posted. I'm not sure when his surgery is. I told Justin to make sure he told Gary (BM) that he should take care of himself and not to worry about the wedding, everything would turn out fine and not to feel bad about anything and that we hope it isn't as serious as it sounds. So.....Justin was going to ask an aquaintance of his today to step in and be a grooms men and he'd revamp the order of the wedding party to incorporate the new member. BUT THEN.....last night Justing and I had one of my other brothers and his wife over for dinner and his son (my 17 year old nephew) who is in our wedding to stand up with my oldest daughter might not be in our wedding either due to the fact that he's going to be a senior this year and he's a big football "star" and cannot miss football camp at all or he can't be on the team, which I wouldn't ask him to screw up his whole senior year for our wedding so....I don't think my nephew can make it to our wedding either....which isn't the end of the world, my daughter will be fine walking down by herself but in 1 day 2 people might not be in the wedding!! Makes me wonder if we're being cursed or something....anyway, I'm done bitchin'.....lol

Lizbet · #6 07-21-2006, 04:56 PM

Sorry for all the drama

so close to your big day. Youd did say there was a chance that one of your brothers could stand with your DH as well as another of his friends. Perhaps both will be able to do it. You could have your brother walk with your daughter. I know there will of cousre be more of an age difference there, but it will be a "family" thing.

Just trying to throw out some suggestions. And, remember nowadays a LOT of people have uneven bridal parties. It's not a big deal even if you don't have anyone else take over the 2 spots.

Heather · #7 07-21-2006, 06:07 PM

I totally understand your frustration with all of it too. It does sound like he's having sciatic pain. The ruptured/herniated disc is pushing on that nerve and it's unbelievable pain. It's why I had my first surgery too. You can't sit, you can't stand, you can't walk - it's horrid. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. He's still having chronic pain after multiple surgeries? I'm asking because I'm on #3 and it's hard to find people who have gone through all of this.

Good luck with everything and all will turn out fine.

justnmary · #8 07-21-2006, 06:25 PM

He also has dejenerative bone disease (I think that's what I was told-could be wrong), so his spine is slowly deteriorating bit by bit....he's had 3 surgeries so far and he's always going in for shots (cortizone?) and the doc told him by the time he's 40 he'll be in a wheel chair. He's on Perkiset (sp?) and vallum (sp?) and has good days and bad....he's 38 now and has been going through this about 6 years. It started with one disk...now he's so f*ck'd up it's unreal. But he takes his pain med's and deals with it.

Heather · #9 07-21-2006, 08:39 PM

Oh yikes. I have degenerative disc disease but no one has ever told me I'll be in a wheel chair. Three of my discs are blown (2 vertebrae now fused) so you're scaring me a bit.

justnmary · #10 07-21-2006, 08:43 PM

Everybody is different...so I wouldn't get too scared, I could also have it (the disease)wrong...but he's also 6'5" and 170 lbs, so he's very skinny and very tall so maybe that has something to do with it? He's also fell off of a few roofs in his roofing days so I'm sure that had something to do with it also....if your doc hasn't said anything to you about wheelchairs, you're probably pretty safe...like I said, I might have got the disease he has wrong but I thought that's what he told me. I'll check with him and clarify that next time I talk to him. Can I ask what caused your back problems?

Heather · #11 07-21-2006, 09:30 PM

Nothing has ever been identified as causing except for 'degenerative disc disease'. It's hereditary actually. I've had issues with my back all of my life, but it didn't start getting severe until 1999 and I had to do something. Being tall and skinny would actually be a good thing for this because as you put on weight, the more it's going to hurt your lower back. I'm 5'6" and weigh 125 so I try to never go above 130 and so far I haven't. I had a cortizone shot before my Sept. surgery and it was the most painful thing I had done to try to help with the pain. I couldn't get out of bed for two days after it and swore to never do it again.

I hope everything works out for your brother (and friend). I know what it's like being doped up on pain killers all the time and it sucks. I'm still taking Vicodin (Hydrocodone/Percoset (all the same thing)) and Cyclobenzaprine (Muscle Relaxer) from April's surgery. I'm hoping I won't have to get either refilled at the month though. It's all very addicting physically & mentally too.