ceremony questions?

[apeters]

Hi, I'm new to the site so please help me out.
I have several questions...
1. Both my parents are remarried, my stepdad has been in my life for about 13yrs I want both my dad and stepdad to walk me down, I don't want my stepdad to feel "leftout." What do I do?

2.The church I'm gettign married in (June 16, 2007) has light pinkish rows of chairs in 3 sections... How do I decorate and/or set up the church when my colors are bright red, black and white? (Sorry, and camoflouged tux vest's....ugggggggh)

3.I'm having either my 2 cousins or my cousin and aunt sing a duet at the ceremony but I'm not sure of what? What are a few good suggestions for some songs?

Please help
apeters

[555Ann555]

Firstly... to Pash!

I know a few of the ladies on here have had more than one person walk them down the aisle so you really have a few options.

You could have one dad on each arm, or you could have one bring you into the church and walk you half way, then have the other meet you half way & take you to your FH. The others may well have more options I've not considered...

Do they get on well enough to walk you together without any bad feeling? (please excuse that incredibly rude question, you don't have to answer, but you will have to consider it).

On the pew decoration: a few of the girls have used tulle draped between the chairs, and when you look at their photos (LJ's in particular) you don't spot the colour of the chairs because your eye is drawn to the decoration.

But to be perfectly honest I doubt your guests woiuld even notice if you didn't disguise them The chairs will be filled before any of the bridal party enters so noone will have the chance to compare the colour of the seats to any of the fabric colours because they'll be sitting on them!

I don't have any really suggestions on the music, our wedding was a Catholic Mass, so we had to have hyms Ave Maria is beautiful if they have strong enough voices and you're looking for something religous... But most brides on here seem to have other music, not hymns

[apeters]

It's not rude... Believe me I've considered that day in and day out... I don't think they have ever fought, but then again I don't think I have ever seen them even talk, I think there is major hard feelings but I think they would put it aside for this one day?

The church isin't very strict, they actually have there own spot up in front with all the music stuff (drums, piano, guitars, flutes, mics). I'm kinda looking for something a little more modern. Our song is "Bless this Broken Road" (country).

Thanks

[555Ann555]

Your welcome

I'm sure you'll have stacks more responses, but sometimes the forum gets a bit quiet at the weekend as a lot of the girls access it from their work! Very naughty

I'd hope that they'd be able to get along for one day And your natural dad knows how long your step dad has been in your life... You will have to discus it with them both though, just to give them plenty of notice of what you'd like from them...

Had you any thoughts on what would be best?

[apeters]

I was thinking walking down with one on each arm

[555Ann555]

That would certainly save one feeling more important than the other Is the aisle wide enough for that? Have you chosen your dress yet?

BTW I forgot to add: The girls would love it if you'd post a wee introduction in the bridal journals section. That's where we all tend to look to wlecome newer memebers Plus it's great to get to read about how everyone got together/engaged...

[apeters]

I know how things can get quiet on the weekends, I work Thurs through Sun night shift, I have lots of extra time, oops.

The aisles can be made any width, they are rows of chairs in a church not pews, and the church is very accomodating.

I already have my dress, I was just looking one day found one I liked but they told me it was being discontinued teh next week, I didn't have the money then but ended up being able to get the floor model when they "clearenced" teh dress later that week.

I can try and post something.

[555Ann555]

Fantastic! I love a bargin

My dress was actually an ivory BM dress! It saved me a fortune

[apeters]

I'm sorry this site kind of confuses me...

I can't figure out how to post on the bridal journals, or anywhere... Sorry

[555Ann555]

let me get you the link...

You'll get used to the site It just takes a wee while to figure your way around...

Right.

This will take you to the front index. You can find most pages from here.

This is the bridal journal section It's the same way tpo start a new thread in the other sections as it was to start this one... (just click new thread!)

This is the lounge. It's where we all go to talk about everything other than weddings!


And this is the front desk. It has all sorts of help for new members and it's the place to leave a question about the site if you're not sure aout anything.

[Clarity]

Hello welcome to pash!

As you can see, Ann is the resident Brain on how to do technical stuff...especially pictures which seem to be a requirement here

I think you could talk with both the men in your life and tell them that you want to include them both. I'm sure they can play grown up for one day. I'm sure they both love you so much that their will not be any hurt feelings.

As for the camo that's something my DF would love and the church colors I don't have any suggestions...I'm dealing with green pues and blue carpet... So I don't have a clue.

And music is definately not my specialty...so basically I have no advise...Just Hi and welcome to PASH!

[justnmary]

Welcome!!!!

[ljeagle]

Welcome to PASH!

Our wedding colors was red, black, and silver. We got Lucky and the church pews and carpet was red. But I don't think you need to change the colors of the chairs to your wedding colors. No one is going to sit back and point that out. That's something that can't be changed with out putting a lot of money out for chair covers. Another suggestion is to draw every ones eyes to one point in the room so they are not set on looking at the mis matched chairs. But I really don't think any one is going to point that out or feel that you left something out. Here is my wedding Pics you can c what I did that Ann was talking about.
http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingf...ead.php?t=3017

Have you thought about just having your father walk you down and have your step father wait for you at the front. Then you can have them both give you away at the front. It would also look fine if you have the room for both of them to walk you down.

2 friends did the music they sang "the Gift" by Jim Brinckman and Grow old with you by (not the one in the wedding singer)

[whiddle]

Welcome to Pash! I had both my father and step-father walk me down the aisle, one on each arm. At my reception, we had two father-daughter dances. I don't think you need to cover the chairs.

[SuzyBride]

Hi!! Welcome to Pash! I think everyone has covered most of your concerns, but I just wanted to say hello!

[Kim&Bob2004]

Hi and welcome to pash!

Everyone has had wonderful suggestions thus far!

[rosefeather]

Hi welcome to Pash! It's always good to see another Wisconsinite on here. Congrats on your engagement and wedding! My cousin is getting married on that day too.

[Lizbet]

I also don't have any additional info for you. But, I wanted to say "Hi!" And, I love your chosen song (eventhough I'm not really fond of country music).

[LadyFaile]

how formal are the dresses, the ceremony in general?
for mine, it's going to be very casual so i'm thinking for music just some soft accoustic guitar
personally i think singing or anything loud or recognizable is distracting. so instead of a specific song or a band or singer i just want one guitar, no vocals. if i do choose a particular song it will be something soft. the music should add to the atmosphere not be a focal point in my opinion

if you're doing a more formal ceremony and style you could choose a more traditional or formal sounding instrument like a harp or piano. i've also heard of clarinets being used, you can get a nice soft sound out of them
guitar would be more "modern" sounding though.

[AshyBekka]

Hi and welcome! I come from a "mixed family" as well, although in my case just my dad is going to walk me down the aisle, and then when the preacher asks who gives me in marriage, my mom, stepdad and stepmom are all going to stand up behind us for the response. I had initially wanted both to walk me, but to be honest, my stepdad isn't overly comfortable at big events like weddings and it was really important for my dad to walk me down the aisle, so that problem sorted itself out. We'll probably still do two father-daughter dances, and I know that my stepdad is also planning on making a speech. This was a blessing in my case, because while my dad would have given in if I'd pressed the issue, I think that sharing the walk down the aisle would have really hurt his feelings-he's been telling me since I was 12 that he wanted to do it (I remember the moment he first said it exactly!), so you need to ask yourself if you think this will be a big sticking point for your dad as well.

I hope you get everything sorted out, and I can't wait to hear more about planning! Good luck!

[AngelRoseFyre]

My mom had a similar problem when her and my dad got married. her dad died a few years before the wedding, and my mother couldn't decide between her godfather or her dads best friend, she was very close to both of them and didn't want anyone to be offended, so she had my dad (the groom) walk her down the isle instead. It is very untraditional and most brides wouldn't do that, but i thought I would bring it up.

I am having two men walk me down the isle, but one of them is my 5 year old son, and the other is my father, who adores my son, so I'm not to worried about hard feeling of either one of them twards eachother (but maybe twards me though, cuz I'll be in the middle keeping them apart )

[Complicated Woman]

My parents are apart/remarried also, and I thought about stopping and giving my stepdad and grandpa a kiss on the cheek to acknowledge them before my father gives me away.

I love my stepdad, but I'm really close to my dad and wouldn't dream of having anyone other than him walk me down. And even though my dad and stepdad happen to get along really well and chat together often, I think my dad would be hurt if I had them both do it. They're both important to me, but I only have one father and he has been a great one. I wouldn't want him to feel like our relationship is one that could ever be replicated, or that my stepdad fills a part of my dad's role in my life, because it isn't and he doesn't, really.

Your situation is probably different, but I just wanted to share my perspective in case it helps.

[labeadel]

Hi and welcome!!

I think the other girls have answered your questions pretty well. The one thing I wanted to say was really to not worry about the color of the chairs. I guarantee nobody is going to notice. You notice these things right now b/c you're looking for them, but think back to weddings you've been too, can you remember a lot of details about them? I surely can't! At least not the ones I went to BEFORE I got engaged!!

And I don't really have a suggestion on a song to sing. It really depends on your tastes. Well, I see that you like country, and one of my favorite country song is Amazed, by Lonestar. I also love Shameless by Garth Brooks. If I think of any others, I'll let you know.

[ladedah]

I'm chiming in late here...but I had my Dad and my step-dad walk me down the aisle. My mother has been re-married for 20+ years and he has treated both my brother and I as his own children. I couldn't cut him out of something like this. I think my dad was kind of upset at first, but he realized that when the situation is as it is you have to make concessions.

[apeters]

Thanks for all the advice, I feel the same way as most of you do to!