newbie trying on dresses

[rachel1374]

I'm going out this weekend to try on dresses but I have no idea what I'm doing: What do you wear to go try on wedding dresses? Normally I just wear whatever I can get into and out of if I know I'll be trying on clothes but is that inappropriate(jeans and a t-shirt)? Also, should I wear a stapless bra (UGH so uncomfortable) or just a regular one? What about shoes? Oh wow, can you tell I am not a shopper!!

Am I going to be harrassed by pushy sales people that want to come in while I'm dressing and make me parade around naked while they point out my flaws?????

I read somewhere that it's a good idea to bring pictures of dresses I like? Yea or nay?

On a side note, I will not take anyone with me. Two of my friends asked to come when I went but that doesn't seem much fun to me, just more stressful. This is not at all seeming like fun to me......

[ljeagle]

Find you some pictures of what u think u might like. But also try on things that you don't think you will like. You never know what they will turn out to look like.

I think having someone come a long with u is a better ideal. It can't hurt to have a honest friend telling you what they think about a dress. Most sales people will tell u any thing to get you to buy a dress.

GOOD LUCK!

[birdie]

I don't have any answers to your questions, just the same questions myself. So if anyone has any answers, I would appreciate them too!

I do think you should bring at least one person with you. Moral support is always a good thing and a second opinion is nice too. But I'm kind of a chicken when it comes to things like this - I want my mom and sis there with me!

[rachel1374]

The problem with having someone there with me, I'm not really close enough to anyone who would be able to go with me. It would be so awkward and I really don't think they would be honest with me.

[wembley]

For the first go round of trying on dresses, I don't think the clothing you wear really matters. You'll really be taking them off to try on the dresses anyway.

As for under garments. I don't think that matters quite as much either. Yes, most of the dresses require a strapless bra or something special but you probably aren't going to have the perfect bra to start. As of right now, you don't even really know what the perfect bra is yet. It depends on how comfortable you are about people possibly seeing straps or part of the bra when you come out to look in the big mirror. I personally felt more comfortable about showing off straps then being stuck in a strapless all day.

Shoes don't matter yet either. You'll stand up on a block and they'll fluff your dress around you. The dresses aren't always going to be the right size either. Some will be too big or too small. Most will be too long. It will be ok.

Come with an idea of what you want if you have something special in mind but don't get stuck with only that. Let the people at the shop bring you things. Try on lots of different styles and looks. Figure out what pieces of each you like and go from there. They see lots of girls every day and if they are good, will know what will look better or what else is available.

Don't worry about the people at the store pointing out flaws and being mean. They're there to make a sale and make you feel good. If they do point something out, either listen and see if it's actually to make you look better in your dress or move on to another store.

I do agree with the others that it would be helpful to bring someone along that will be honest but if not don't worry. You'll figure out which one is the right one and it may not be on this particular trip but it will happen.

[555Ann555]

Like you, I would generally prefer to shop on my own... There is no reason why you can't do that for your wedding dress but who will hold the camera so we can see you in them???

I think Wembley covered most of it .

What I'd say about the bra is that if you have a larger chest then just go for whatever gives you the best shape of support because it can be a really long day dragging yourself into heavy dresses. If you have a little chest then just wear whatever you'd like. It won't matter if the straps show when you're just trying them on, and there is probably no way you could put on one that wouldn't show in any of the dresses

What you're wearing on the outside won't matter, just something quick to get changed in & out of. Same with the shoes.

I can't see any sales people wanting to parade you around naked to point out your flaws I doubt they'd make any sales that way

This is supposed to be shopping for a wonderful dress, not your secret worst nightmare! lol.

Oh. One other thing, you should take some water with you because it can get really hot & stuffy trying on all those dresses, and you might want to have a little snack (or candy or something) that you can nibble on to keep your blood sugar up coz it can be a looonnnggg day.

Having said that, if you have the time before the wedding you can try on a dress or two first visit then do the same the next till you fond one you like. It doesn't have to be a marathon session!

[Lizbet]

The first time I went, I went alone. Once I had it narrowed down to my top 3, I took a friend and my Mom with me to get their opinions.

I agree with everything Wembley said. Don't worry about anything with regards to your clothes, undergarments, or shoes. And, the sales people will most likely tell you you look beautiful no matter what you try on.

Remember that most of them work on commission, so if you try one on that you don't think flatters you at all, but they say it is the best you've put on, look at the price tag. From my experience, most of the saleswomen will be honest with you, but a few are just there to get the most they can out of the sale.

Go out, have fun, and don't worry if you don't find the perfect dress your first time out. Most brides don't. It'll take some looking before you decide what you really want.

[labeadel]

Oh, how exciting! I had so much fun wedding dress shopping. I was actually bummed when I found my dress at the very first place I went to. And I'm a keep it simple kind of gal, so I didn't bother looking anywhere else.

I don't know about other stores, but the one I went to gave me the proper undergarments to try on with the dress. I just went in jeans and a t-shirt and they gave me everything I needed. Even shoes to try on. Like Wembley said, you'll stand on a block to see how the dress falls. So, shoes aren't that necessary. I wanted to walk around in the dress though, so shoes helped with that.

As for the salesperson being all up in your business, they might be. My saleslady helped me into and out of each dress, and I was so thankful. I felt like such a princess trying all these dresses on and someone did it all for me. And my mom was even there. So, once you get on the bra (if they provide you with one), she will be helping you. At least mine did.

When I got to my store, they had me sit down with a catalog and find 5+ dresses that I liked. Then she looked through them and pulled all those dresses, plus others she thought I might like based on my tastes. Also, try on those other colors. I had thought that I wanted a white dress, but she had me try on a smaller size in the dress I liked and they only had it in cream with rum pink, and that ended up being the dress I fell in love with. So you never know.

Have fun and don't stress too much. It's the best!

[Complicated Woman]

I don't know if I'm too late and you've already gone, but...

First: I went alone and am glad. It was a little sad the moment I found the dress, because I wanted someone else to be excited with me, but honestly, I knew I would cave to buying a dress I didn't really want or be talked out of a dress I love if I brought my mom along, and I knew she'd be crushed if I brought someone other than her, so alone was my best shot.

In my experience, as long as you make the salesperson feel like you're going to buy your dress there, they will be honest with you about how it looks...try something like, "I have been to 7 stores, I am leaving this place with a dress!" Then ask specific questions and invite criticism. Most people will tell you the truth if they think you'll be buying from them anyhow. I know all three of the salespeople I worked with did.

Second: Wear something comfortable and a strapless bra if you're going to a little shop. If you're going to a Davids, they'll give you undergarments.

Third: Have a really fun time!

[rachel1374]

OK, how do I go about having a salesperson leave me alone? I know it's their job but I don't want to be bothered and I really don't want help putting them on and off. (ok, maybe zip the back or something but nothing else) I'm terrible at this and am really considering not going and finding a seamstress to have one made. (I'm terrible)

[555Ann555]

I'd just look them straight in the eye and say "can I just have a minute please?"

That has always worked for me.

or "excuse me for a minute please." and if they don't leave you with that one, then try the other.

Just say to them that you'll call them back when you need their help. It should be fine.

[Complicated Woman]

Well, they may want to help you put them on and off to be sure that you don't snag them or step on them at all. I think that makes sense, since the dresses are very expensive and they don't want their floor model to be spoiled.

If you're browsing through and being hounded, I'd do just what Ann said. Good luck!

[clairon13]

when i was engaged the first time 'round, i took my two sisters w/ me, and that was a mistake. as much as i love them, their tastes are not my own. and i ended up being bullied by a saleswoman and buying a dress i didn't just love (tho at the time i conceded that i felt like a princess and figured i'd fall inlove w/ it every time i tried it on at home). it was only $400, but that also meant final sale and guess what? i still have that dress, hanging in my closet next to teh dress i actually wore to my wedding (different relationship, different dress!). moral of teh story: if you feel shopping w/ anyone else, at least initially, will stress you out, then don't do it!!! b/cs it probably will! but i like the suggestion of going alone first, then taking someone along later after you've narrowed it down to dresses you do actually like.
second, the first time shopping, it was at one of those wholesale places w/ really cheap gowns (on sale, i should say) and so of course all of those sales ladies were in super-pushing it mode. i would never repeat that experience! when my DH and i got engaged and i began the shopping process, i had probably bought (and read!) every bridal magazine on teh market for the year up til that point!! so i already had a good idea of the style of gown i was looking for.... some of them were way out of my price range, and some of them surprised me, but when i actually went looking, (i only took one sis that time, but only b/cs she begged me to, and i made her promise to not convince me of anything i didn't feel) i also found my dress in the first shop and was kind of sad. but the dress was like nothing i'd earmarked in any of the magazines!!! it was a private salon, not a chain like David's Bridal, and the attendants were... well, attentive, but i just kept insisting that i was fine and had my sis there to help me try on and take off gowns (i'm not your petite girl, so i didn't want to undress in front of a skinny sales associate!), and she backed off after a while. when i had narrowed it down to 3 gowns, i actually went back to the store to make sure i still loved them, and went alone, and that's how i decided which dress i liked teh best for ME.
the only time my sales attendant got a little pushy was when she wanted to sell me a tiara and a purse and shoes, all of which i declined b/cs i knew i could get them cheaper online.
good luck trying on dresses!!! it really can feel magical, tho, so be prepared to have fun no matter what!!

[rachel1374]

Originally Posted by clairon13

(i'm not your petite girl, so i didn't want to undress in front of a skinny sales associate!), and she backed off after a while.

That is exactly it!!!! As far as a friend going with me (at any point in the process), the only people I would even consider taking with me are a size 0 and a size 4 but I'm not very close to either of them.

I battled with anorexia when I was younger and I think the whole dress fitting with all 98 pound people is dragging all that old stuff up again. (Just the depression, not the sickness)

Oh well, maybe I stick to department stores and just settle for less dress than what I want.

Thanks everyone, you're the greatest.

[ljeagle]

Please don't settle if thats not what you want to do. Try it by your self if there is no one you want to go with you. Just tell the ladies you want to try to put them on your self. I'm sure they will under stand.

[wembley]

I actually lucked out and got a woman who was a similar size to me that was helping find dresses for me and I had the most fun and success at that store. She actually understood what would work and what wouldn't be the most flattering for a larger girl.

[labeadel]

Yeah, my saleslady wasn't a petite girl by any means. I actually was smaller than her. So, you just never know!

[birdie]

You could just tell the sales associate that you are not comfortable being mostly undressed in front of strangers. If any of them should argue for any reason, leave the store. If they want to sell you the dress of your dreams, they need to be compliant to your wishes. The customer is always right, right?

[Kim&Bob2004]

I didn't go to shops looking for dresses, but I did go to look for veils. All I had to do was tell the salespeople that I was just looking and trying on and would call them if I had any questions. At times I guess I can appear very assertive. So I was basically left alone. Either that or my t-shirt and jean skirt made it look like I couldn't possible be a bride that was seriously looking!

[michaelsbride]

I also went to a less popular salon (i didnt want to be hounded by associates at davids bridal who are looking for a commission or the next big sell). I had a wonderful experience... when i needed help pinning the dress, someone was there to do it but other than that i was left alone... also if i wanted opinions on things, they were pretty honest with me. I didnt expect to find a dress since it was my first time out but because i was left with my mom and i to pick out whatever and try on however many times without feeling pressures, i found the dress of my dreams.

[TheaterDiva1]

I was completely unprepared when I was trying on dresses - I was actually there to look at BM dresses. I asked for a catalog to flip through just for the h*ll of it and found the perfect dress. I didn't have on anything spacial that day.

However, when you go in for alteration, you should have the underwear and shoes you plan to wear so the dress can be adjusted accordingly (if you show up wearing heels and a minimizing bra, and some wedding time you're wearing flats and a push-up bra, you could have some major problems).

[rachel1374]

Update: I went this past Saturday and took my friend who I don't see that often but she was the perfect person. (even though she is tiny) I ended up somewhat pleasantly surprised. First shop was typical. They didn't want to be bothered with us b/c we didn't look the type????
Next one was so crowded and hot we never even looked.
Third was wonderful. They just set me up with eveything needed and stopped over when we needed a hand or opinion. She found out what we liked and brought a few suggestions. I ended up finding "the dress". Unfortunately it is over $700 and I need to stay at least under $400 if not less.
Then, David's Bridal. Aaaahhh! This place was a nightmare. They were uncooperitive, obtrusive, rude, etc. They didn't want me to try on the two I wanted to b/c I needed an appt w/ a bridal consultant to do this. OK, scheduled for the next day. Our "wonderful bridal consultant" sucked. SHe didn't want to be bothered. We didn't hardly find any dresses that we liked and wanted to try and she spent the whole time telling me that with my size I HAD to get a big poofy skirt. If I didn't do the poof, the only other choice was skin tight form fitting. Um, hello??? What the heck!?!?! We were there less than an hour and I know I would never go back again. Maybe that was a fluke, but I didn't even like any of their dresses.

Hopefully, I will find my dress or something similar in my price range. Either way, thank you all for your help. I might never have went otherwise....

[peckmiranda]

Every friend of mine who has tried to get something from David's Bridal has come away very upset. I thought it was funny when I looked at davincibridal.com it kept saying that they had nothing to do with David's Bridal.

[wembley]

What did "the dress" look like? Maybe it can be found similar but cheaper.

[555Ann555]

Are you tempted to cut back on something else to get "the dress"?

I went the other direction, I cut back on the dress to get the photography. But it seems $300 difference might be do-able